Comforting Actions for Jeremy

[Elizabeth Davenport]

PANIC

one muse discovers the other during a panic attack.

Tag: Jeremy Colborne

[Jeremy Colborne]

---It was getting to be too much. It had been a couple weeks of the new season and Jeremy's parents never turned down an invitation. Whether it was a lunch event, an evening event . . . any event. They were all too happy to accept the invitation and respond that they would be attending. Of course, that meant that Jeremy was expected to be in attendance as well. He missed his cabin in the woods. The transition from there to the ton when it was bustling with activity was a difficult one. There was no ease shifting from one setting to the other. It felt the equivalent to being thrown in a body of water to learn how to swim. And much like that, Jeremy felt like he was suffocating.

---Guest upon guest. Pleasantry upon pleasantry. Dance upon dance. It was as if Jeremy could feel his energy depleting, bit by bit. And with the back to back gatherings the past couple of weeks had presented, this particular one should be no different. But it was. For whatever reason, unknown to Jeremy, it was. For he felt like he could not take it anymore. His chest and throat began to tighten as he attempted to swallow it back. He even tried to have a drink but could not bring himself to move towards that direction, out of some unknowable fear. For a man who wrote so many words on paper, he had little to offer now.

---It was when the room was starting to spin that he knew he had to get out of this environment. He did not even bother excusing himself from the three others he was in conversation with -- not that he had even said anything in the last several minutes. How did one talk when they felt as if they could not breathe. He quickly walked outside, descending the stairs to the backyard and noticing that it was vacant; no one else was out there. Not that it would have really mattered. He did not go deep the garden, but rather, just a bit to the side, hoping the fresh air would help.

---He started gasping for air, each breath seeming more strained the last. His hand reached for the tie around his neck, loosening it until it was opened. His heart, beating so hard in his chest that he felt as if it was going to burst. He closed his eyes to attempt to stop the dizziness, grateful that there was a tree nearby as he reached out his hand to lean against it, to brace himself to a stand. This was not the first time it had happened but damned if he felt like it did not get worse each and every time.

TAG:
Elizabeth Davenport

NOTES:

[Elizabeth Davenport]

Elizabeth would have rather been anywhere but at this social event. She'd thought with it being Emily's first season that her stepmother would be fussing all over Emily. Elizabeth had been a failure thus far so perhaps she could have better luck with her other stepdaughter. But no. She'd continued to fuss over both girls, insisting that this season Elizabeth absolutely had to marry. It wouldn't look good to have her continue to be unmarried, especially if Emily was to receive suitors this year. It all felt a bit much to Elizabeth. The fact that her future relied entirely on finding someone that wanted to marry her was overwhelming and now she felt more pressure than before because of Emily. 

Lost in her own thoughts, she felt like she was doing the bare minimum when it came to socializing tonight. She was polite and courteous, per usual, but Elizabeth didn't do much more than that. Her eyes looked for Benedict to see if he could save her from her own thoughts, but instead spotted someone else. Jeremy. A smile graced her lips and she began to walk towards him, noticing he looked rather uncomfortable in his current conversation. Then he dashed out of there before she could get closer and worry faced over her features. She watched as he walked out towards the gardens and Elizabeth frowned. Elizabeth had not seen Jeremy lately but they had spent time writing letters to one another since meeting in the woods, and she found herself caring for him.

After fetching a glass of water from the refreshments table, Elizabeth made her way out towards the gardens to look for him. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one had seen or followed her, Elizabeth was satisfied and looked around for him. Spotting him near a tree, Elizabeth walked over towards him. "Jeremy?" She asked. No point in asking if he was okay, as she knew he wasn't. Setting the glass of water down, she tentatively reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. Just breathe. Shall we count backwards from ten, only using even numbers?" Hopefully the trick would work. His brain would have to focus on something else.

---

Tag: Jeremy Colborne

credit to Laura of Adox

[Jeremy Colborne]

---Jeremy heard a voice, and part of him had to wonder if it was even real or if it was him spiraling. Completely losing control. The voice continued, the source unmistakable. And the hand placed on his shoulder made it more . . . real. Made her more real. He did not want her to see him like this, and yet she was the one person he was comforted in seeing. The juxtaposition making his head spin even more. He needed to focus on breathing, not trying to sort out his emotions. The verbal reminder was there; to breathe. The offer to count backwards and yet . . . he could not form words.

---He had not even looked at her yet, unsure what she would see in his eyes. Weakness? Pain? Relief? A desperate cry for help? He did not want to risk it. He knew that with whatever breath he had, he should tell her to go. To not burden herself with him, with his struggles. He closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath that seemed so completely blocked right now. He needed just enough . . . to tell her to go before she may very well see him collapse. But instead, whatever strength he did muster, instinctively reached out, taking her hand in his own and holding it. The exact opposite of what he should tell her. And when he did open his eyes, and turned to look at her, his gaze hazed and moist with tears of panic . . . there was only one unspoken word behind them: Stay.

TAG:
Elizabeth Davenport

NOTES: I know he didn't say anything so let me know if its hard to reply to!

[Elizabeth Davenport]

She was quite uncertain what was happening to Jeremy but she knew that it was not good. She knew that it was likely difficult for him but all she could do was be there for him. Elizabeth wondered if it was panic over something that had taken place inside or if it was something else. One thing was for certain; her questions would have to wait until she knew he was okay. That was the only thing that mattered to Elizabeth in that moment. Her patience, which was normally thinly veiled for people, was prepared to help Jeremy through this if he would let her. 

His eyes squeezed shut and Elizabeth tried to figure out if her speaking with him was helpful or hurtful. There were many things she knew how to comfort someone in but this was not one of them. One thing could be the wrong move so for the moment, she decided upon silence. A small moment passed and Jeremy took her hand, Elizabeth feeling what he was trying to convey through such an action. That maybe he did want her there and that she was being helpful. Elizabeth squeezed onto his hand and continued to stand by his side, not caring how long it might take. His eyes finally opened and Elizabeth noted the tears that pricked at the corners, threatening to fall and she could see that he was panicking. It didn't matter, not one bit, what he was panicking about. All that mattered was that she was going to be there to help him. 

"Jeremy," she spoke softly, her other hand that was not being held by his, reaching out and brushing her thumb across his cheek. "It's going to be alright. Just listen to my voice, okay? We'll get through this and everything will be alright. Count with me if you can, alright? Nine, seven, five, three, one." Elizabeth just had to hope that speaking with him was helpful and not hurtful. 

---

Tag: Jeremy Colborne

credit to Laura of Adox | Gif