You Broke Me First

[Elizabeth Davenport]

Elizabeth had never put much thought into rumors. There were often times not true. But this one had made her stop cold in her tracks. The idea that William had a Mistress was horrible enough to make Elizabeth want to scoop her heart from her chest. Despite the situation, she'd done everything to find out if it was true. Unfortunately, her findings appeared to be as agreeable as the rumor.

Sometimes it happened. Sometimes it was accepted and people didn't gossip about it too much. It wouldn't look the best but it wasn't unheard of. Elizabeth had given William two beautiful sons in the nearly two years they had been married. As far as society was concerned, she had done her job. She could have stuck around and received the reputation of being a dutiful wife but that was not within her nature after this information. It had absolutely ruined her and her entire life. How was she meant to continue living with him like this? Plenty of women did it. It happened all the time. But Elizabeth could not wrap her mind around it. Her heart ached at the realization of it all.

So she'd made her way into the countryside, going to one of the smaller homes that William owned. It was not far from the Davenport Estate but Elizabeth knew she couldn't go there. Even though her family was currently in the city, it would raise too many questions. Elizabeth knew she could not stay out here forever but she could stay long enough to gather her thoughts and figure out what she wanted to do. Leaving William was obviously not an option but she could live on her own out here. But what about her children? She could not bear to be away from them for too long. 

Elizabeth was in the back gardens, walking aimlessly as she tried to think about how much she was hurting. How could he do this to her? Elizabeth had been foolish to believe William loved her. Was something wrong? Was something wrong with her that he thought he needed to seek to comfort of another woman elsewhere? Elizabeth wiped away angry tears from her eyes as the images plagued her mind. 

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Tag: William Slade

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[William Slade]

tagged Elizabeth Davenport words not a clue! notes oh dear

William had received word that his wife was at his country estate. Confused as to why she'd done so, the Duke began to write her a letter, only for him to scrunch it into a ball and toss it. He'd only returned home from a small trip, too, believing that his wife and children were home. Upon returning, however, his footman specified that she'd left. The exhaustion from his return had him exhausted, but he was ready to mount his horse along with some other servants that worked for him and make his way toward Wellington. It would take time, yet he was determined to reach his wife and children, wondering what on earth had caused her to take the sudden trip to a location that they normally frequented together. The trip itself took him a day and half, a few stops made for breaks. Dismounting his horse, he left it to the stable boy as he hurriedly made his way into the residence, not even bothering to offer his coat or hat to the servant that stood by the door. Simply, he asked where she was, and they directed him to the back gardens. Beelining toward the area, he found her figure standing there, seemingly distressed. Where were the children? Many questions ran through his mind as he fixated his attention on his wife. "Lilibet?"

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[Elizabeth Davenport]

She was unsure how long she was pacing in the gardens but eventually she heard the sound of someone entering the vicinity. It was the nickname that made her pause her movements, keeping her back towards her husband until she could find it within herself to compose all of her emotions into nothingness. The nickname, once meant to show his affection and love towards her, now felt like nothing to Elizabeth. Now she hated the sound it made as it fell from his lips, sounding like just another one of his lies.

"Does your Mistress have a fond nickname you call her as well?" She asked, turning and looking at him for the first time in what felt like days. Elizabeth held her hands behind her back, clasped and holding onto the other hand tightly. It was the only way she could keep herself from wanting to slap him or throw something at him. Taking in a a deep breath to continue to compose herself, Elizabeth nodded once. "I do believe it be best that we live separately moving forward." It was not unheard of and just as it might be acceptable for him to take a Mistress, it was also acceptable for a couple to live separately. Elizabeth walked towards him before moving out of his way and entered back into the house towards the library. He would likely follow her, though she wished he would have just stayed in the city. 

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Tag: William Slade

credit to Laura of Adox | Gif

[William Slade]

tagged Elizabeth Davenport words not a clue! notes oh dear

William's heart dropped at the mention of a mistress. "I beg your pardon?" He asked, watching as she deserted him in the back gardens of their Wellington estate. He certainly did not expect that. Though it was true that he was keeping a mistress, the Duke did not know of the possible rumours that were evidently circulating. "Elizabeth." He uttered, following her inside the estate. "Elizabeth!" William called out again, almost slamming the door behind him. "You cannot say your words without explanation! Speak your truth." He rushed past the children and their nurses, not even realising that they were there. At the moment, his sole focus was his wife and figuring out how she discovered news of his mistress. Isabel had been in his life for a year. A secret, an individual nobody knew about. Had she gone through his accounts and finances? What right did she have to do?

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[Elizabeth Davenport]

It might not be proper of her to say such things and leave him behind but Elizabeth could not help it. Her sorrow had quickly turned to fury and she was quite certain that there was a saying, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. That was exactly how Elizabeth felt. She felt betrayed and scorned and all she wanted to do was never see William again. Elizabeth could hear his footsteps follow her into the house, as she knew he might, and into the library.

The door slammed shut and she whirled on him, the calm fury on her face quite clear. "Speak my truth? Was there something I said that confused you?" She asked. "Do you deny it, having a Mistress?" Elizabeth did not know if he would lie to her face. But he'd done so many times before so what did his words mean to her now? "I cannot stop you from having someone like her in your life but I can certainly take control of my life by living separately from you. I will not be one of those wives that sit by being dutiful while my husband spends time in the bed of another." Elizabeth glared at him, wondering if William would dig his grave further by his words.

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Tag: William Slade

credit to Laura of Adox | Gif

[William Slade]

tagged Elizabeth Davenport words not a clue! notes oh dear

Once she whirled around, her facial expression told him all that he needed to know: this would not end well for either of them. He stared her in the eyes upon her question, trying his best not break eye contact. He, however, failed, knowing there was no use in lying to her. Will listened to her continue, registering every word that left her mouth. Suddenly, he approached the nurses that he'd only just passed by, "Take the boys outside," He instructed, his eldest child offering him a look of confusion. Upon knowing that the space was clear of any unwanted ears, Will returned to his wife. Honesty or knavery? There was no point in lying at this point. Obviously, the Ton were speaking, and surely Whistledown, too, if Elizabeth had somehow found out. "I do," He confirmed lowly. "And you will do no such thing, Elizabeth. You are not one of those wives. She means nothing to me." And truly, he did care more for his wife than his mistress, but even that explanation would do him no justice. "You..." Goodness. "You were pregnant." A man had his needs.

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[Elizabeth Davenport]

William could not even keep eye contact with her, which told Elizabeth everything she needed to know. He'd done all of these things to her and had broken her heart. Elizabeth waited until the children and nurses were out of the room, the door closing behind them to give them further privacy for this painful conversation. Then he spoke the words and Elizabeth herself huff out a breath she had not known herself to be holding. She looked away from him, willing herself to not cry. Elizabeth often cried when she was frustrated with her emotions or incredibly angry and this was one of those times. But William did not deserve her tears and she had to keep reminding herself of that.

His insistence that she would not leave him to live separately made her scoff and shake her head. He would have no such say in what she decided to do. "She means nothing? You've rented her apartments in the city!" She snapped at him. It was one of the things she had found when she'd looked further into it. Then he said something that made Elizabeth's mouth nearly fall open. "I . . . ?" He was trying to blame this on her?

Without thinking, she reached behind her and grabbed one of the books, whirling it at his head. "I was pregnant, with your son!" She yelled at him, reaching behind her to grab another book to throw at him. "You said you loved me and that we belonged to one another! How can I possibly believe a word you say now!?" She yelled.

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Tag: William Slade

credit to Laura of Adox | Gif

[William Slade]

tagged Elizabeth Davenport words not a clue! notes oh dear

It was not often Elizabeth was this angry with him and so, William knew he'd reached her breaking point judging by her current interactions with him. He wished she'd look upon him, purely so that he could figure out what was on her mind -- not that he usually could, really (those days especially). He took a step back to ensure his own safety at that point. Then she mentioned the apartment that he'd purchased for Belle. Will swallowed hard at her tone of voice, devising a swift escape in hid mind, yet he knew that he would do the situation no well. If they could manage to reconcile somehow within the hour, the Duke would be a lucky man, indeed, but it did not seem like he'd gain her trust so easily, especially not Elizabeth's. Then, she paused, claiming that she was pregnant with his son at the time. Suddenly, he saw a book coming right at him off the shelf and William was quick to duck, but the book had met his arm before he could. "Ow!" He bellowed. "Will you calm yourself so that I can have the decency to explain myself?!" What devil had possessed her just then? "Do not make this a war!"

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[Elizabeth Davenport]

Elizabeth's aim had become dangerously accurate over the years. If she wanted to hit someone in the head, she could and she most certainly would. She had not aimed for William's head this time around, though she could not guarantee she would not aim there if he continued to say the most ridiculous things to her in an attempt to placate her. He had not denied buying her an apartment and Elizabeth was not sure if his face just broke her heart all over again. It certainly didn't help.

He yelled but she didn't stop her anger from radiating through her body. He wanted to be given the decency to explain himself? What explanation could he possibly have that would make Elizabeth stop wanting to throw things at him. "I think I'm quite content to continue throwing things at your abnormally large head!" She said, throwing another book at him. Surely, she would run out of things to throw soon enough. Then he spoke of not wanting to start a war and Elizabeth stopped her actions, hand raised with another book in it. "A war suggests that both sides have an equal chance of winning and I assure you, nothing you say will win you this." Her tone was almost deadly calm once more. 

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Tag: William Slade

credit to Laura of Adox | Gif

[William Slade]

She'd thrown another book in his direction and this time, he'd only just risen from his position to be struck directly in the head, taking note of the strange adjective that he'd never heard her utter before. Abnormally large head. After a pained groan escaped his lips, he rubbed his head to soothe the sting arising from the hurt area. The adjective, however, would not leave his mind. After retrieving himself, William bit back a chuckle, knowing that it would offer him nothing good at all if he were to feel the slightest bit amused at his wife's anger. They both needed to calm down, if not for the sake of their children, who were probably listening in on their conversation from the gardens. It was difficult, however, considering the topic of conversation at hand. Surprisingly, her voice had turned serene again. Was this the calm before the storm? "Then what would you have me do, Elizabeth?" The Duke suddenly asked. Then "We will not live in separate homes. That is my final word." He stared at her in a stern manner, attempting to retrieve his authority again. "Think of the boys." Elizabeth Davenport

This Royal Throne of Kings This Earth of Majesty, This Seat of Mars MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Elizabeth Davenport]

She was quite pleased when one of the books had managed to hit some right in the head. Perhaps it would knock some sense into him, though she doubted it. Maybe if she hit him enough times he would realize that this was not something he could fix. His words would not soothe her broken heart and nothing he could give her would make it better. Elizabeth was not even certain if time would fix these wounds he had so haphazardly given her.

His question made her scoff. What would she have him do? It felt like a loaded question and there were many things she wanted to yell at him for. "Not having a bloody mistress would have been a good start," she snapped at him. To hear him threaten that he would not allow them to live separately might have appeased some wives, but not her. Elizabeth was stubborn and would fight for this. "I do not believe I am giving you a choice in the matter, for I refuse to live under the same roof as you and certainly not your bed." Separate bedrooms were not unheard of within marriages and were quite common but Elizabeth and William had always kept the same bedroom. Because Elizabeth thought they loved one another. 

Elizabeth's eyebrows rose quickly at the mention of the boys. He was going to bring their children into this? Dropping the book to the floor, Elizabeth shook her head at him. "And what will you tell the children? That you shattered their mother's heart?"

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Tag: William Slade

credit to Laura of Adox | Gif

[William Slade]

There was no winning in this situation, that much was clear to him. Either he would end up leaving, or she would, but it seemed that he would need to, considering both the fact that he'd committed the apparent crime in question, and the fact that he needed to be back in for a parliament sitting in a few days. The journey back was harrowing, but the Duke was determined to find out what was going on through his wife's mind. Would she ever recover from such news? William doubted it. Would he try to ease the situation? He would try.  Narrowing his eyes at her final comment, "Over a harlot, Elizabeth?" William hissed. Now he was angry, though deep down he knew that he had no right to be. "A harlot!?" That was exactly what Isabel was, and though he offered the woman coinage and a lavish suite to help ease her lifestyle, "I believed you better than that." Probably not the best statement he'd made that evening, but he could not help it. Why had she been affected by someone like Isabel, a person who happened to be much lower than her in rank? "I leave tomorrow morning then," William informed her, walking past her and straight for the stairs. Passing by one of the housemaids, he ordered her, "Gather the boy's belongings. They ride with me." Elizabeth Davenport

This Royal Throne of Kings This Earth of Majesty, This Seat of Mars MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Elizabeth Davenport]

Why he was he acting like this was not a big deal? Why was he pretending like his actions should have not caused her such heartbreak? "You act as if it makes a difference!" She yelled. "It does not matter whether she is a harlot or a princess. Do you not understand that I am in pain and you're the person who put me here?" Her voice was softer but the pain came through on her features. Her eyes welled with tears but Elizabeth did everything within her power to fight against them. She would not let William see her break down and cry like this.

How could he say that he thought she was better than this? "And I thought you were better than this as well," Elizabeth said, feeling the fight leave her body. "It appears you wanted nothing more than a dutiful wife that would obey you no matter what after all." Elizabeth thought back to one of their earliest conversations, before marriage, and how she thought him to want someone to obey him.

Elizabeth watched as he left the room, threatening to take the children with him. He was doing it to hurt her and she knew it. She did not want to follow him but she could not allow for this to happen. Elizabeth had expected him to fight over wanting the boys to be in the city with him but surely he would see reason that they were too young, especially Henry, to be away from her. Elizabeth rushed after him, following him up the stairs. "Henry is still nursing," she hissed after him. "Do you truly hate me that much that you would punish our children?"

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Tag: William Slade

credit to Laura of Adox | Gif

[William Slade]

Glancing behind his shoulder as she spoke, he watched as her eyes welled. Her facial expression stung him and his armour shattered for a moment. William had completely stopped in his tracks, feeling a slight lump form in his throat, and due to his sudden breathlessness, he could not find the words to speak. Watching the woman he truly loved tear up in front of him broke him internally, and it certainly showed for a moment. Then, his expression changed when she brought up the fact that all he desired was an obedient wife. "That is far from true, Elizabeth!" He snapped. "You forget the reason I married you in the first place!" And it certainly wasn't because she was docile. It was because he loved her, and still did, but a man had his needs, especially when his wife was with child. Did she not understand that? No man in his position was a saint, yet how could he explain that concept to her without meeting his demise? Storming up the steps to his side of the estate, Will did not dare look back as she hissed her words at him, "I will call on the wet nurse," He could not help but turn around once more when she inquired if he hated her. "How could you think that?! You are not acting reasonable right now, wife, and that is why I am taking the Charles and Henry. Once you discover your sense, then I will send you a carriage to return to London."  Elizabeth Davenport

This Royal Throne of Kings This Earth of Majesty, This Seat of Mars MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Elizabeth Davenport]

Elizabeth shook her head. "Perhaps I have," she said. "Or perhaps we are too late to realize that our path was indeed far too treacherous for us to navigate, because right now it certainly does not feel like it's enough." That their love and affection for one another was enough. It wasn't enough for him. Elizabeth thought it had been enough but it just wasn't. Maybe she just wasn't good enough or she had not been the wife he had hoped for. 

His mention of calling on the wet nurse made Elizabeth shake her head. "We promised to not use a wet nurse, or have you forgotten all promises you've ever made to me?" His promise to be a good husband had certainly gone out the window. 

William turned on her and Elizabeth stopped in her tracks, her eyes locking with his as she felt his anger, or what felt like it, radiate off him. "How could I not? How would you feel if you were in my position? If you had gone off for business and I did what you had done, would you not be hurt?" Elizabeth couldn't comprehend how he didn't understand how all of this had broken her. "You did this. You did this to me. Do you not understand? I am not angry. I am in pain and you put me here. The person who is supposed to love me more than anything." Elizabeth shook her head and she felt tears slide down her cheeks. 

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Tag: William Slade

credit to Laura of Adox | Gif