a kiss and a funeral

[Tobias Knightly]

How did he react. The question was simple, but difficult to answer. With it was with his father, he ignored the feeling and sometimes the man. Sometimes he sought to prove he did not need him and make his actions try to reflect that. And with her . . . . He was not sure how he planned to let this affect his actions. She was in love with another. It would be cruel of him to place expectations on her that she did not want.

"I ignored it." He admitted knowing that would be best for her. She asked about how he would react of the woman he wanted was with another man. "Your question is not a simple answer." Looking back down at her face again, this time his gaze lingered in a silent moment before he signed and admitted more. "If this man you seek had any sense, he would have indeed bee displeased at the idea of you with another man. But this displeasure could so it's form in many ways. I understand women enjoy the idea of a man bursting into the room in a jealous rage and sweeping her away--but I gather most times it does not happen as such." He told her reluctantly.

When he found out she was missing, he had realized then that he might care for her more then he realized. Had he known before hand she was riding with a man--Knightly wasn't sure how he would have reacted to that. He had not realized how much pull she had on his emotions until he was forced to see them in force. "I assume your readers asked this of you?"

"Might you warn them of unworthly men without admitted that you were treated so. I fear half of London would be at my door if they thought you miss treated." And they might! They loved her. His mother loved her--all without meeting her. Because he had been right that first day--her writing was personable and it made the reader think of her as a friend. He looked back down at her, for a moment just looking at her face and features. Accepting the fact that she had forced his to name the tightness in his gut and chest as jealous.

^{Mirela Camden}

[Mirela Camden]

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[attr="class","ctopline"]if you dream a thing once or more

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❀ it is sure to come true ❀

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tag ● Tobias Knightly
notes ● excited for this!

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Mirela listened intently as she said that he ignored, and then went on to say that her question was not an easy one to answer. She felt a brief wave of disappointment come over her, expecting it to be all that he would say on the matter. But the feeling was brief and fleeting for much to her delight and interest, he continued. She quite liked the thought, of him being displeased with seeing her with another. For it to elicit feelings for her with the realization that he wanted her and wanted her only with him. Just as she only wanted to be his. Yet, the thought of him bursting in a room when she was with another made her . . . fear of the aggression that could ensue. The potential anger and exchanged words, or worse. Attacks of fists. "I would not want a man to fight over me," she said in a quiet voice. Realizing the cockiness in that statement and with the reality of her life where that would never happy, she quickly added. "Not that anyone would." Her words would at least reference nicely to her previous objection to telling her brother. Mislead assumption that it was because she did not wish to see him fight the other man. "I simply mean that I would not wish for anyone to get hurt." She had not thought of that. That jealousy could lead to such aggression and violence.

"I simply . . . wanted him to notice." To see her. That was all. Which, had very clearly not worked or happened even remotely to how she dreamed it would. She slowly nodded her head at his next question. "Advice about a man's jealousy and how to elicit such passion from him." Instead, it had her in the company of the very man while she looked a mess. His next words caused a little burst of laughter to escape from her and a blush to colour her cheeks at the flattery of his words. "You grant me far too much credit Sir," she said shyly. But, she liked that he thought of her as such. That he believed in her so highly that he thought others would be concerned for her. "If Lady Whistledown does not catch wind of it first, then I will most certainly offer a warning to any others who may befall this, misconception." Her tone was light, almost playful at the thought. She casted her eyes upwards, watching him, his expression, before her eyes landed on his lips and seemed to sit there for a moment before shyness took over and she abruptly looked back down.

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

[googlefont=Dancing Script][newclass=.cbg]width:400px;background:#000000;padding:30px;[/newclass][newclass=.cbgtop]width:400px;height:120px;text-align:left;[/newclass][newclass=.cimg]float:left;width:100px;height:100px;padding:10px;border:1px #aaa solid;[/newclass][newclass=.clbox]float:right;height:100px;margin:15px 5px auto auto;text-align:justify;width:257px;[/newclass][newclass=.ctopline]font-size:9px;letter-spacing:2px;text-transform:uppercase;font-family:verdana;color:#aaa;[/newclass][newclass=.cscript]font-size:23px;margin-top:-3px;font-family:Dancing Script;color:#e5b2ad;[/newclass][newclass=.cscript span]color:#ccc;[/newclass][newclass=.cline]height:1px;background-color:#888;margin:3px auto;[/newclass][newclass=.clyrics]font-size:8px;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;text-align:justify;font-family:verdana;color:#999;[/newclass][newclass=.cbody]font-family:verdana;color:#999;font-size:10px;text-align:justify;line-height:14px;letter-spacing:0.5px;[/newclass][newclass=.cnotes]font-size:9px;letter-spacing:1px;text-align:center;opacity:0.8;[/newclass][newclass=.cred]text-align:center;font-size:6pt;color:rgb(132, 132, 132);letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass][newclass=.cred a]color:rgb(132, 132, 132);font-size:6pt;letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass]

[Tobias Knightly]

She spoke softly of how she would nto want men to find over her, and then said something he felt compelled to change. Not just because he meant the words, but because he meant them as something more then that he said. "Nonsense, Miss Camden. If another publisher sought you out I would engage in a round of fisticuffs with them to ward them off my writing girl." He meant it as something light, but he meant it. Publisher or suitor. He feared he would do the same. And he knew it wasn't fair to her since she loved another. Even if she wanted no one hurt, he would still handle Cooper. And there would be hurting.

She said she wanted to be seen. Noticed. It made his brows furrow in thought. He remembered the woman who first walked into his office. Even he had dismissed her as just a girl, and not looked twice. Pretty face, but not looked at her and really seen her. Even though she pored her heart in the letters of advice each week, she did not let people really see her. She showed up to his office. She left his office. He only knew she had a brother from conversation, but was not sure whom else there was in her life.

"I have tried to pry into your dealings with this man you aimed to win over. I have trusted your judgement and make it clear that as long as the readers were happy, I was happy." Looking down he noticed she was looking at him again. No, not at his face. Bloody hell! He wanted to take her up on that invitation. He wanted to kiss her then, but knew it would mean everything changed. "But know that you are seen, Miss Camden, and the moment you decide it stop hiding the world will see you too."

It took everything he had not to kiss her in that moment. To keep them both from getting hurt. Yet he did not look away. He kept thinking of it. His voice came out slower, and softer then he added, "And if your man cannot see you, then perhaps he is not for you." If she left the idea of his other man go, maybe then. Yet until then, he would respect her choice to go after this man.

^{Mirela Camden}

[Mirela Camden]

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[attr="class","cimg"]

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[attr="class","ctopline"]if you dream a thing once or more

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❀ it is sure to come true ❀

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[attr="class","clyrics"]

tag ● Tobias Knightly
notes ● excited for this!

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Mirela smiled once more at his words of what would happen if another publisher sought her out, and the lengths that Knightly would go to in order to keep her in his employment. The thought was a thrilling one . . . but she also knew he was speaking in context of work. Of adding to the already massive success of his paper. She wanted him to see her beyond a writing girl. She wanted him to see her as Mirela. His Mirela. "Well he would most certainly have to take me against my will, for I am emphatically committed to you Mister Knightly," she told him. The words though light, still held a sincere undertone to them that was not difficult to detect. For she meant it. Every part of it. Besides, her commitment to him surpassed that of merely an employee. She was committed to him: heart, body and soul. "Even if it is just to save your fists from harm," she added on more playfully, so not to risk revealing too much of her true feelings towards him. Despite how bold she had grown over time, mainly due to her attempts to seduce him . . . she still did not hold the courage to admit it was he that she was aiming to win the heart of. How many times she had started letters to him to confess her feelings, only to burn it in the fireplace out of cowardice and fear of rejection.

At least right now, she had hope that she could gain his affections. If she scared him off prematurely, it would be devastating. The conversation grew more serious as she fell silent to listen to his words. Once that touched her heart and made her want to blurt how just how much he meant to her. He truly did not know. He did not know how he plagued her thoughts and how her heart beat for him and that each breath she drew was with hope that he would love her as she loved him -- if that was indeed even truly possible. Was he right? Should she stop hiding? Should she just, confess to him . . . tell him the truth? Be free of this, suffocating misunderstanding. His unawareness that he was the man that she spoke of. For as everyone else seemed to know, so should he too. But then his last spoken words, caused her to remain silent. What if he was right? What if Tobias would never truly see her? What if . . . he was not meant for her?

The thought of having to let him go made her heart ache in a way she had not thought possible. She quickly averted her eyes from him, feeling the threat of tears at the mere thought of never being with him. But . . . what if he was indeed right. What if, he would never ever love her. "I must have hope," she said in a whispered voice, perhaps to convince herself more than convince him. "I have to believe . . . there is a chance." But, what if there was not? What if the length of time it took to win him over was simply because it was an impossible task? "Do you . . . believe that there could be a chance?" He did not know it was him yet she would still hold his words dear. She valued him, and his thoughts. All he had previously said made her heart swell with emotion at the prais, the flattery. But now . . . she was all too aware that his words also had the power to break her heart and shatter it into a million pieces.

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

[googlefont=Dancing Script][newclass=.cbg]width:400px;background:#000000;padding:30px;[/newclass][newclass=.cbgtop]width:400px;height:120px;text-align:left;[/newclass][newclass=.cimg]float:left;width:100px;height:100px;padding:10px;border:1px #aaa solid;[/newclass][newclass=.clbox]float:right;height:100px;margin:15px 5px auto auto;text-align:justify;width:257px;[/newclass][newclass=.ctopline]font-size:9px;letter-spacing:2px;text-transform:uppercase;font-family:verdana;color:#aaa;[/newclass][newclass=.cscript]font-size:23px;margin-top:-3px;font-family:Dancing Script;color:#e5b2ad;[/newclass][newclass=.cscript span]color:#ccc;[/newclass][newclass=.cline]height:1px;background-color:#888;margin:3px auto;[/newclass][newclass=.clyrics]font-size:8px;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;text-align:justify;font-family:verdana;color:#999;[/newclass][newclass=.cbody]font-family:verdana;color:#999;font-size:10px;text-align:justify;line-height:14px;letter-spacing:0.5px;[/newclass][newclass=.cnotes]font-size:9px;letter-spacing:1px;text-align:center;opacity:0.8;[/newclass][newclass=.cred]text-align:center;font-size:6pt;color:rgb(132, 132, 132);letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass][newclass=.cred a]color:rgb(132, 132, 132);font-size:6pt;letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass]

[Tobias Knightly]

Knightly heard her words and it made his chest swell with pride, and his arms tighten around her as he held her closer. She spoke of being his. And it was then he realized that that wasn't such a bad idea. Her next words made him smile, and a low chuckle form. There were moments that felt so easy with her, were he could forget his ambition and just enjoy the moment.

And there were moments, sometimes in the same hour or minute, that he realized she did not feel the same. She had to have hope. Hope that whomever this paragon of virtue was that the man she loved, would one day finally see her and decide he wanted her too.

She asked if he thought there could be a chance for her. She wanted him to reassure her of her mission and in her hope. Knightly wished he could give her that. He wished he had it in him to lie to her and tell her that he believed she could win over this man and live in bliss to her heart's content. But he could not. No matter how much he wanted to give it to her--telling her that she belonged with another man was not in his abilities.

"That sounds like a question you would be better off asking my mother when you meet her." he told her, forcing the conversation to change before he had to tear up her hope and ruin the ideals she held in her heart. "I am taking you to her now. She can help you get cleaned up so your brother will not know anything unwanted has occurred."

^{Mirela Camden}

[Mirela Camden]

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[attr="class","cbgtop"]

[attr="class","cimg"]

[attr="class","clbox"]

[attr="class","ctopline"]if you dream a thing once or more

[attr="class","cscript"]

❀ it is sure to come true ❀

[attr="class","cline"]

[attr="class","clyrics"]

tag ● Tobias Knightly
notes ● excited for this!

[attr="class","cbody"]

His mother?! "Y-Your mother?" She questioned as her eyes widened, blinking a couple of times in disbelief. He was quite close to his mother and Mirela had always wished to make a good impression on her. She had often imagined that when the day came that she would meet her, it would be with her and Tobias's arms linked and he was introducing Mirela to her to see if she approved of their courtship. As a future daughter in law! Mirela had often thought of what she could say to gain her favour, how to be charming and intelligent. She had not thought to meet her so soon though having believed she would have time. But now . . . she was meeting his mother! "Sir, I am hardly presentable to meet your mother," she said, slightly frantic over the thought of Misses Knightly seeing her so disarrayed.

While she was at least grateful he was not taking her directly home in this state, she was suddenly overcome with nerves. Swallowing nervously she looked at nothing in particular in front of her, mind racing as she tried to think of how she could rectify her disheveled appearance! She would have to over compensate with charm for his mother would certainly not be impressed with her beauty. "Thank you kindly for offering, Sir but perhaps it would be easiest for everyone to just drop me at your publishing house. I would not wish to cause inconvenience to your mother." His mother! Clearly the most important person in his life and . . . she could not meet her in this state!

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

[googlefont=Dancing Script][newclass=.cbg]width:400px;background:#000000;padding:30px;[/newclass][newclass=.cbgtop]width:400px;height:120px;text-align:left;[/newclass][newclass=.cimg]float:left;width:100px;height:100px;padding:10px;border:1px #aaa solid;[/newclass][newclass=.clbox]float:right;height:100px;margin:15px 5px auto auto;text-align:justify;width:257px;[/newclass][newclass=.ctopline]font-size:9px;letter-spacing:2px;text-transform:uppercase;font-family:verdana;color:#aaa;[/newclass][newclass=.cscript]font-size:23px;margin-top:-3px;font-family:Dancing Script;color:#e5b2ad;[/newclass][newclass=.cscript span]color:#ccc;[/newclass][newclass=.cline]height:1px;background-color:#888;margin:3px auto;[/newclass][newclass=.clyrics]font-size:8px;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;text-align:justify;font-family:verdana;color:#999;[/newclass][newclass=.cbody]font-family:verdana;color:#999;font-size:10px;text-align:justify;line-height:14px;letter-spacing:0.5px;[/newclass][newclass=.cnotes]font-size:9px;letter-spacing:1px;text-align:center;opacity:0.8;[/newclass][newclass=.cred]text-align:center;font-size:6pt;color:rgb(132, 132, 132);letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass][newclass=.cred a]color:rgb(132, 132, 132);font-size:6pt;letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass]

[Tobias Knightly]

Knightly loved his mother. She had been the only family he had ever known, and she had made sure they lived. That they did not starve. And she had done it with her body. For him. Part of his hunger had always been for her. For him, but her for too. He did not often take people to met her, thought he did casually speak of her often. He knew however, that his mother would love her.

He also knew that his mother would help make sure she could return safely to her brother's home without a question raised. His mother was the reason his mind was so sharp. She would either devise a way to get the dress clean or find a way to hide it.

He could feel the air around them tense, and Knightly knew her enough to know that something was off. She quickly gave herself away when she began to try to prevent them from going to his mother's. There was something endearing in her attempts, and he found his arms tightening around her as if that would either make sure she keep her seated on the horse without attempts to get away; or help reassure her.

"Miss Camden, are perchance nervous about meeting my mother?" He asked, his tone teasing and serious all at once. It was rare for her to have such a tone with anyone. Yet something in this moment told him that she was unwilling to meet his mother and it had nothing to do with her state of dress? He knew it was a risk to take, as she could honestly not want to meet someone with her dress out of sorts. Though he wondered if it was because he and she had become . . . . friends? And she knew that it could be odd to meet his mother under such conditions.

^{Mirela Camden}