Awkward Mornings

[Kathani Bridgerton]

Kate hated Anthony. She hated how good he kissed. She hated how his touch brought her skin to fire. She hated how his lips on her skin made her not hate him. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. Which was why currently, her hand was trying to find somewhere to hold on too. At first her hand was on the bookshelf behind her, gripping a shelf tightly. When she felt a particularly sharp roll of pleasure brought on by his lips and tongue, her hand dropped to his hair, tightly gripping the unruly strains. "Anthony," she breathe out his name, her head falling back on to the bookshelf.

A shiver took her body as a large wave of pleasure took over her. Her back arched, and it caused her should to press into the bookshelf behind her. Currently, she had no idea how she ended up here. She knew they were fighting, which was normal, but this time his kissed her. This time he pressed her into the book shelf and explored her mouth and body over her clothes. They both moaned in the kiss and then her laces were undone. Which was how she came to be currently. Back pressed into the bookcase, laces undone and the morning sun touching her breast, one leg over Anthony's shoulder while her hand held her shirts and his lips kissing her in a place that now one besides her had even touched before.

When she felt his teeth, she felt dizzy. She reached up to grab the bookshelf once more, her head falling back. It felt so good. She felt close to something she didn't know what to expect. Kate went to look down at him, but movement caught her eyes as she looked up and locked eyes with--"Benedict!"

^{Benedict Bridgerton}

[Anthony Bridgerton]

Tag: Kathani Bridgerton
Note: Better layout coming soon!

i will

ALWAYS PROTECT YOU

Anthony wasn't sure how it had happened. One moment he was arguing with Kate -- which was quite normal for them. And the next, he had her against the bookshelf, kissing her, touching her, exposing her. It was as if Anthony had lost all semblance of self control. A deep seated denial suddenly unleashing itself in perhaps one of the most intense ways. Had he even a bit of sense and awareness, he would have recognized how wrong this was. Not because it felt wrong to be kissing her.

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No. That part felt strangely right. But . . . it was because of his brother. Though, it was not in his mind right now. Overcome with desire and need for her, his fingers had made hasty work of undoing her laces, kissing her with a hunger that he had not felt before. It was all happening quickly and he could hear her say his name, though he was unable to form words. Perhaps for the same lack of coherence that prevented him from seeing something wrong with this to the point of stopping.

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He barley even heard the door open until he heard her say someone's name that . . . was not his own. It was enough to cause Anthony's eyes to fly open and his head to sharply turn, seeing his the second eldest Bridgerton son standing there . . . looking at them. Anthony froze, completely numbed with shock and . . . guilt. Now, everything began to set in; in fact, it came in a large wave and consumed him just as quickly as his need for her had. Benedict hurried off and Anthony returned Kate to the floor, as he quickly straightened himself up. Fixing his shirt, doing up his buttons, trying to be presentable.

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"I must speak with him," Anthony said quickly, glancing at Kate before hurrying out of his study. Of course part of him knew he shouldn't just leave her there but at the same time . . . panic over his betrayal seemed to have taken over. When he stepped into the hall, his eyes scanning the area and deciding to do a thorough search for Benedict, their butler came up to Anthony and said that some Lord or another was here to visit.

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Anthony could not care less, but he was informed that he was in the drawing room, waiting. Anthony let out a sigh of annoyance, glancing at the closed study door for a moment, knowing that right now . . . seeing to a visiting friend was not his priority. But alas, it did not seem he had any choice in the matter. So with a nod and quick steps, Anthony attempted to fix his mood as he entered the drawing room, though his mind was thoroughly distracted with thoughts of his brother, and Kate.

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

Benedict had just arrived home not too long ago to discover that the house was fairly empty for the most part. This was a rarity indeed and something which Benedict took advantage of as he sat in the drawing room, his legs hanging over one of the arm rests of the chair he was seated on and his body positioned to the side. He had his sketchbook in hand and a piece of charcoal, attempting to practice various facial structures. The eyes were an incredibly important part of any portrait but he knew before he could perfect that, he needed to ensure that everything else was well proportioned and placed. Though, he was getting a bit frustrated at his failings in doing so. Noticing from the corner of his eye that the butler had come to the entry of the room, he informed Benedict that Lord Goodwin was here to visit and that if he had seen Lord Bridgerton. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ Benedict closed his book and rose to his feet, having noticed that the door to his study was closed so presumed he was in there, offering to get him. That -- unknowingly to Benedict -- had been his first mistake. Putting his items to the side, Benedict made his way to Anthony's study, giving a light knock in warning that he was entering, assuming he was busy with work. Hardly waiting a moment, Benedict pushed open the door and what he saw . . . was perhaps the last thing he had ever expected to. There was his brother indeed and . . . Kate?! It wasn't seeing the two of them together that shocked him but how they were together. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ Anthony had her pressed against the bookshelf and she was, exposed. And . . . the shock seemed to have put Benedict in the state of a status for he just stared for a moment. His eyes widened not even attempting to hide the surprise, lips parted in further indication of it. He didn't even know what to say or do or . . . "Pardon me," he quickly stated before spinning around and closing the door. He stood on the other side of it for a moment, blinking a few times and trying to get the mental image out of his head. For, many reasons. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ He couldn't be here right now. He couldn't look at either of them right now. His face felt warm from embarrassment over seeing her in such a state -- and his brother for that was certainly something Benedict never wanted to see -- and embarrassment, for the entire situation. Needing to get fresh air or just, out of either of their paths, Benedict rushed to the back door and into the garden, not having stopped walking until he was on the other end of it, deep within it, trying to collect his thoughts were both racing and still at the same time. Tag Kathani Bridgerton

                        the rules of society.

[Kathani Bridgerton]

Anthony might have froze, but Kate had not. She franticly pulled her bodice together and made attempts to close it with shaken fingers. Benedict had caught them. Anthony told her that he had to speak with him, and left--AND LEFT! Not that she wanted to talk awkwardly with him but at the same time she felt that there was much to say. Though perhaps some time to think was best.

She made attempts at putting her hair to rights, and returning her clothes to an unwrinkled state. Needing some air to remove her blush and clear her head, Kate used the backway of the house to escape into the garden. The knowledge of what she'd done, and had allowed to be done to her, was heavy. While there was no promises between her and Benedict she knew that Anthony had been pressing for there to be. She liked the younger brother, and enjoyed her time with him however there wasn't a feeling of . . . .

Kate closed her eyes and pulled in the cool crisp air. Grateful that she didn't have to face either man for some time, Kate took a turn around the garden in slow steps to make it last as long as she could. That was when she turned the hedge and found Benedict standing there. She was even aware that she had called him by his given name in the study--and after everything he had saw the fact that calling him by his name was the first to come to mind was almost comical. "Hello," she said softly, since they were standing face to face. Really she should apologize, but right now she didn't know how to even begin.

^{Anthony Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

It seemed that despite Benedict's efforts to escape the presence of the two people he was making a conscious attempt to avoid . . . one of them was suddenly there before him. Perhaps he should have left the estate rather than hoped to find a place within it where he would not have make eye contact with them; compromising images too fresh in his mind. But, he did not consider himself a . . . rude person. So nor could he just walk away from the woman. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ He looked at her -- barley -- his eyes unable to meet hers out of the embarrassment of what he had seen . . . and how much he had seen of her. "Miss. Sharma," he returned the greeting, his eyes darting around as if unsure where to look. Anywhere, but at her, or any part of her really. His greeting to her more formal because . . . it felt necessary keep to formality right now. Whatever comfort he felt in her presence stifled by what had just happened. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ And where Benedict was often easy going and quite relaxed -- perhaps to a fault according to some of his family -- right now, he had no idea what to take the conversation as there did not seem to a path to ease in any direction. Which, just resulted in a rather awkward silent of him facing her, but not looking at her, and continuing to wish he had done a better job of avoiding either of them. Had a guest not come to the home, he would have expected Anthony to join them too. Tag Kathani Bridgerton

                        the rules of society.

[Kathani Bridgerton]

Looking around Kate wished the other brother would pop out of the brush somewhere and she could run away and hide while he made explanations rather then she. Yet there was no sign of movement anywhere. Drat the man! She would give him a---maybe she should not be giving him anymore. That was after all how she got into this mess in the first place.

Clearing her voice with a soft sound, Kate stayed where she was and spoke. She felt a little awkward to walk right up to him as bold as she pleased. "I should . . . . " Apologize? Explain? Demand he tell no one? . . . . and that was the moment she began to panic in her mind.

She had been caught with a man in a compromising position. With a man she wasn't even sure she liked very much! Though she had liked him a bit ago a little too much. "I should say that I am very regretful you walked in when you did." WAIT! That didn't sound right! "I mean that you saw what you did. . . . that anyone saw what you did."

^{Benedict Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

Well, this was incredibly awkward. But, he had to give her some credit for making the effort to speak to him after being . . . caught in the position that she was. And his brother. A scarring mental image indeed. One that Benedict wished he could burn from his mind, but felt it would quite possibly be scarred there for some time. Still averting his eyes from her -- the struggle to maintain eye contact a significant one -- she spoke of regretting him walking in when he did. For . . . interrupting? Though seeming to realize how it sounded, she added on that she was regretful that he saw what he did, that anyone saw it. He remained silent for a moment, knowing that he had to say something in return. Was he angry? Perhaps that was not the best word to describe his certain state. Benedict did not get genuinely angry often. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ "But not that it happened," he both asked and stated at the same time. "That you and my brother . . . " He couldn't even finish the sentence, inwardly cringing at the sight for he never wanted to have seen it. Though could not help but wonder that if he had not . . . what would have come of it? Not in regards to the actual coupling, but more so, the aftermath of it. But he was quite aware of the fact that she was expressing regret for getting caught -- by him -- but not for actually engaging in such relations with Anthony. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ "Was that the, first time . . . " They kissed? Undressed? Engaged in such relations? Any of those things. Benedict was unable to finish the sentence, but he hoped she understood. He trusted his brother, but at the same time . . . was hurt. Yes. Perhaps that was the more accurate way to describe how he was feeling. Hurt. That they would hide this from him instead of coming to him and just telling him that they had affections for one another. Tag Kathani Bridgerton

                        the rules of society.

[Kathani Bridgerton]

But not that it happened. Darn it Kate! Priorities! She was sorry . . . She was very sorry that . . . was she? YEsss . . . of--of course she was sorry that it happened! And that it ended. And that Anthony just LEFT her there! The maddening man!

She said nothing as he asked a question that had anyone else asked, would have gotten a bit of Kate temper in the answer. Yet it was Benedict. The man Anthony has been pushing her to marry. Pushing them both to marry. Would he still?

"Yes," she said softly, looking down at her dress and pretended to brush something off of it. Not to be a coward, she looked back up at him. It was a bit easier as he wasn't making eye contact with her. "It was the first." ONLY! "The only!" Better. "and unexpected."

She would not blame all on herself to save Anthony from his own brother, but she also needed to own up to her part. "I can be vexing around him. I lost my head. I had not meant to hurt you." He had pointed out before that she had not apologized for doing it. And she still had not. Because of Kate was honest with herself--she wasn't. She wasn't sorry. And she hated that she wasn't.

🌷🏑🐝💕
^{Anthony Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

The first. The only. Unexpected. Benedict wondered if it was better that this was the first time or worse to the circumstance . . . though his mind quickly decided that it was indeed better. That this was not somewhat of a frequent occurrence for them for that, perhaps would have been more hurtful. Though not for the reasons that one may think. For there was no jealousy of the sort, but rather, just hurt. Which, Kate acknowledged as she spoke of how she had lost her head and had not meant to hurt him. He could appreciate that at least, that it was not done intentionally. And did know that he should go easy on her for she should not have to bare the consequences of their actions alone. Anthony was surely more responsible than this. But as the two of them were talking now, he knew it only fair to be honest. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ "I . . . " He paused for a moment, trying to think of how to phrase it. "I wish the two of you had come to me. Were there any, affections between you and my brother, I wish you had told me of it. Rather than . . . " This. Or leading on this notion that he -- Benedict -- and Kate may possibly lead to something more. He did not love her, and she did not love him. But Benedict had done this because his brother had encouraged him to. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with Kate. She was a kind hearted, caring, beautiful young woman. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ But . . . Benedict did not often court women and now to see that in these efforts to appease his brother, Anthony and Kate had wound up to be the ones together. "I would not have continued . . . this . . . " Them. He and Kate. He would have gladly stepped aside for her happiness, for his brother's and . . . had the two of them thought he would not? Did they feel the need to keep it a secret from him? Perhaps that, was what hurt. Tag Kathani Bridgerton

                        the rules of society.

[Kathani Bridgerton]

She knew that his words would have made sense if this impossible thing with his elder brother made sense in it'self--but it did not. It defied reason, and she was not even sure that she could explain it to herself! Yet, in a way it made the most sense. She felt kindness toward Benedict, and a ease of being around him--but there was not this adventure and awareness that tingled within her when he was near.

She wished there was. It would be so easy to be his wife. There would be a life of comfort and friendship. Yet she knew that she could not wed one brother, while dreaming of the other at night. It would lack in fairness to everyone.

"It was a moment." She explained, "one that I had not seen coming so could have hardly warned you of." Her voice was soft, trying to keep anyone from hurting more. "Yet one that I think changes things." While there had never been a promise, or a formal question asked: "I can not marry you. It would not be fair to you." Or her. Or perhaps even his annoying older brother who was conveniently missing from this conversation. "I know it was what your brother intended, yet I do think he could have foresaw this."

🌷🏑🐝💕
^{Benedict Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

She spoke of not being able to marry him and Benedict realized just then that he had merely assumed as such. It was without question nor doubt, but her saying it out loud made him realize that perhaps . . . she thought him still set upon such a path? Truth be told, he wasn't even entirely certain if he could have married her had not witnessed what he just had. "I assure you Miss Sharma, I have no intention of even considering a proposal nor continuing on with . . . " Whatever they were. Courting? Was it even that? ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ Benedict did not often court a woman, for he did not wish to offer any form of false hope that it would lead to a proposal. "This," he finished lamely, no disdain in his voice but also knowing that they had made no commitments. No assurances. And besides . . . there was after all another matter that perhaps needed to be spoken about, whether Anthony and her made any remarks upon it or not, Benedict was uncertain. "Especially as I imagine you and Anthony must be planning on being wed." Surely, his brother would not compromise a woman in such a way and then have no intention of marrying her. It would after all, be the honorable thing to do. Ironically. Tag Kathani Bridgerton

                        the rules of society.