Giving You What You Want

[Kathani Bridgerton]

Having just returned from Aubrey Hall, Kate sat on the sofa and gave Newton's ears a long scratch. She was feeling a little melancholy knowing what would be coming soon. She had finally given Anthony Bridgerton permission to marry her sister. Or well, her approval. And he had hurt! It had hurt very much so. Because she had also realized that he was a good man, and she found that she wanted him for herself.

He had claimed them friends. He had given her comfort during the storm. He had let her see him for more then just a rake. He had kissed her wrist, and even her lips. He had tried so hard to impress her so he could marry her sister, and now she would know what Edwina had. He would kiss Edwina. Hold her. And Kate would watch.

Edwina didn't know yet. Kate wasn't ready to tell her and explain why she changed her mind. So when they returned to London, she let Edwina and Mary go off on errands, and stayed home with Newton. She needed to be with her thoughts for a while.

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^{Anthony Bridgerton}

[Anthony Bridgerton]

Tag: Kathani Bridgerton
Note: Better layout coming soon!

i will

ALWAYS PROTECT YOU

The irony of this entire situation was not lost on Anthony. It had all started with a challenge, really. Anthony intending to marry Edwina. Kate refusing to allow him to. Anthony attempting to win over the sister so he could gain her approval. Kate finally agreeing to the union. And now . . . Anthony didn't want it. Though, he supposed it was less about what he wanted. He had never really wanted to marry Edwina. But it was a suitable match. A woman he would never fall in love with and who would seem to be a good wife and eventual mother. Before, Anthony had blamed Kate for being so meddlesome and he still did.

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But this time, her meddling was in an entirely different way. A way that she perhaps had never anticipated. A way that he most certainly had never thought possible. For he had fallen for her. And because of that, it now felt impossible to be able to marry Edwina. For he would always see Kate. No matter how much he tried to keep her from his thoughts, she consumed them. Thoughts while he was awake. Dreams while he was asleep. And the sooner he placed distance between himself and the Sharma family, the better. The threat of -- dare he say -- love was surfacing and that, was something he could never permit. So today, he would finally have to tell Kate . . . or Edwina, good bye.

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Though he knew that logic dictated he relay the message to Kate. For she was the only one who knew how serious his intentions with Edwina truly were. He had never spoke of proposing to Mary, nor Edwina herself. Assumptions could be made, but none corroborated. The only person that this would be the hardest to say to, was the one person he needed to say it to the most. Making his way to the Sharma residence, he alerted the footman that he was here and was escorted inside the home to the drawing room. Anthony could not help but feel this strange twisting in his stomach, though outwardly . . . he remained perfectly stoic. He had to.

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Unsure how much time had passed -- could have been mere minutes or an hour -- Kate appeared in the doorway of the room and Anthony rose from his seated position to greet her. Though, it was only Kate who was there. He knew that she was the one he needed to talk to but still. Surely Mary and Edwina were home as well. "Miss Sharma," he greeted with a nod. "Are your mother and sister home?" He did not want to be blindsided should he be in the middle of a conversation with Kate and have them suddenly appear. His . . . affections for Kate had blindsided him enough.

[Kathani Bridgerton]

He was here. That would well only mean one thing. He was here to made good on his intentions. Kate wished Mary was home, and could do the honors, but as she was not . . .

Kate took a moment to gather her strength and force the hurt down. Walking out of the morning room, with a new awakened Newton trailing behind her, she went to greet her guest. Pausing outside the door, she took a deep breath and entered the room . . . only to loose it at the sight of him.

Kate had realized she had began to gave feelings for him after the storm. Knowing he was here for Edwina. He even stood and asked for them first thing. "Lord Bridgerton," she greeted, knowing that he had once asked her to call him Anthony as they were friends now, but in this moment she did not think she could. Anthony was personal. A friend. Lord Bridgerton was her sister's intended.

"No, I fear you have missed them today. They had errands they wished to run and will gone for hours. Should you wish to call tomorrow they should be home during visiting hours."

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^{Anthony Bridgerton}

[Anthony Bridgerton]

Tag: Kathani Bridgerton
Note: Better layout coming soon!

i will

ALWAYS PROTECT YOU

Seeing her enter was precisely why he knew he could not continue on his set path. Seeing her so often, while being wed to her sister was far too . . . conflicting. And while he could never offer his love to a wife, he even knew that Edwina deserved far better than that. As did Kate. Hearing that Mary and Edwina were not home was both a relief and disappointment. He supposed it was best he speak to Kate; after all, she was the one he had spoken of his intentions to.

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The ton could speculate on the Viscount's intentions, but as he had made no formal declaration or public intention to propose . . . that was all it would remain to be: speculation. But with Kate, he had made his intentions very clear and so, he supposed from that logical standpoint, it would make the most sense to speak to her about this. "That is quite alright.," he said, knowing he could not return tomorrow without making his purpose today known. Plus, he knew he had come unannounced and without plan. "I suppose it is best I speak to you about this." Motioning for her to have a seat, he waited until she did so before sitting down himself.

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He was not one to beat around the bush, and knew that in this instance, he needed to be direct and to the point. Yet, it was for some reason . . . difficult to say. Not because he doubted his decision, but rather, because of the reasons behind it. The silence lingered for a few moments before he finally brought his thoughts to voice, his eyes going to hers as he spoke. "I will not be proposing to your sister." Ironic indeed. For as soon as she had granted him permission, he no longer wished to pursue it.

[Kathani Bridgerton]

Kate watched his face, and could not help but to let her eyes linger. Normally, Anthony was smug and proud. There was a arrogance to the way he moved and looked at her. She could still see the echos of it however, she could tell there was something else there. Something his words hinted at but did not explain.

For a moment, thought she was not sure how short or long it was, Kate could only look at him. Her lips slightly hanging open from the unexpectedness of his words, which could also be coined as speechless. Which was not something Kate Sharma did often.

Why? There was so many reasons why she had refused him for Edwina before but . . . why? She had JUST given her approval and now he did not wish it? Was . . . was there a reason he did not wish to wed her sister? Could he had saw there friendship as a sign of . . . would he . . . ever look at her? Or was another reason? She did not think him one to play with girl's emotions as such, but there seemed to little reason as to why one would wish to marry her sister and then . . . not.

"I fear you have caught me in surprise." She said slowly, not knowing what else to say. "Why? You have worked endlessly for her hand, and . . . and have changed your mind?" For why? For WHAT? or (and she dared not even think it for it would grow like wild fire) for who?

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^{Anthony Bridgerton}

[Anthony Bridgerton]

Tag: Kathani Bridgerton
Note: Better layout coming soon!

i will

ALWAYS PROTECT YOU

Anthony should have expected it to be a surprise. And her question that followed was not particularly easy to answer. Not without delving far too deep into the emotional reasons that he simply just couldn't do it. Did she truly not know? Would he have to explain it? And yet, what good would that do. Perhaps it be best not to. It was not as if he could marry Kate anyway. But he also knew that he owed her some form of explanation. One that was not far or too great a deviation from the truth.

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"I believe we--" He needed to clarify the we. "Your sister and I are not best suited for one another." The other we, the Kate and he we . . . well, that was a different story. For he believed that she was perfectly suited for him. Perhaps the only woman that he could ever foresee a future with -- one which involved falling in love. "It seems you were right after all." For all her protest where it came to Anthony courting Edwina.

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He had after all only selected her because she had been named the Diamond of the Season. Yet his actions too an unexpected path and marrying her . . . it would just be far too unbearable to see Kate all the time while holding the knowledge that he wanted her, wanted to be with her. No. It was best to spare them both that pain and sever all ties. So making such an admittance as Kate being right -- especially coming from Anthony -- made the Viscount hope that his answer was somewhat satisfactory to her.

[Kathani Bridgerton]

The more he spoke, the less she understood. She had come to understand him more and more, and his actions did not align with what she understood. It would be easy to assume that 'did not suit' was the reason, but she had long suggested this, and it had not stopped him.

Why now? Why after she had finally come to see him as an honorable man and could find no objections toward him--why would he he now see no suit as a reason. "Yes, this has long been known, but has never hindered your suit. Why when I have finally admitted you would be a good husband would you decide not to persure it?" AND why would it not upset her, but . . . make her feel something else. Why did the unnamed feeling feel so much lighter, and stronger, and almost more painful then when she had thought he would marry her sister?

"Has something changed for you?" She asked, trying to find out why she felt this moment was important. Why it felt as if she needed to step forward toward him. To which she did.

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^{Anthony Bridgerton}