finally home

[Philomena D'Harcourt]

Philomena had left William in the dark regarding her attendance to his ball. Many a party he had thrown over the past years, and without fail, an invite was delivered to her, no matter where she was located on the continent at the time. Equally, without fail, she would have to refuse. This certainly was not for lack of wanting, for where Will was concerned she wanted any piece of him she could grasp with desperation. Still, wanting could not overcome the vast distance between them, nor could it fight time or duty. Apologies were written underscored with love and devotion, and the parchment was often marred by a fallen tear as she wrote.

She missed him, terribly, and every letter she received from the duke left her worried that she'd run out of time and the note she held was an invitation of another sort. To his wedding, to his union with someone who was not her.

When she received this invitation to his London property, she could not sit by, no matter what duty she held. The pain of her brother's loss was so strong, and she felt adrift in the world. Her need for Will outweighed any other thing at that moment. With no time to reply, she set out on her journey from Germany to his door. Clothed in a deep blue silk, she gave her name to the footman absentmindedly, her eyes already searching the crowd for that familiar tousle of tawny hair, waiting for his gaze to strike her and bring her back to life.

[William Slade]

William was somewhat praying in his mind that she would show up to the ball that he was hosting that evening. She was the sole person on his mind, as she was the divine light that showed every time she entered a room. He was nervous, to say the least, as he watched the entrance of the hall, every few moments his butler announcing the names that entered. It seemed as if she wasn't going to make it this time, unfortunately, so he focused his attention more on the man beside him.  'The Duke of Harcourt, accompanied by his daughter, Lady Philomena.'  The duke paused between his words, freezing in the frame for a moment, hoping that was not dreaming and that she was actually present. Turning around to face the announcer, his eyes then moved toward the lady in the dark blue silk. Offering her a soft smile, the host approached them both, bowing in respect. "Your Grace, my lady -- I am so pleased to know that you could make it after so many years." Philomena D'Harcourt

This Royal Throne of Kings This Earth of Majesty, This Seat of Mars MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Philomena D'Harcourt]

As she looked out over the crowd, taking in the familiar and unfamiliar faces alike looking back at her, her stomach began to knot. Fate was a cruel mistress, and it seemed just the thing for Philomena to finally return to English soil and William have already departed from his own soiree. But then, as if her whole world was righted, their eyes locked, and if she could see herself, she imagined the light brown of her irises might have gained a gleam that they'd been lacking for far too long. 

After a moment of taking each other in, Mena simply could not help herself for the joy welling up inside of her. A delicate, gloved hand lifted from her side in a little wave. It was then that her father took her arm to lead her down the stairs. Before she knew it, Will was before her, even more handsome up close than he had been at a distance. 

Philomena dipped into a curtsy as her father greeted the duke before murmuring under his breath in gruff French about finding some fresh air and refreshments. Left alone with him, Philomena stepped closer. "Your Grace, I am sure I speak for my father and myself both when I say we are delighted for you to still think of us. After so many years."  Her eyes searched his face, committing every new detail to memory. "Will..."

William Slade

[William Slade]

-------------------------------------------- There was an aura about her that was incomparable to anyone else's in that room. Not even the fairest, most well-educated and most poised girl in that room could compare to the redhead that he had just greeted. Years and years of contact was all that he could be thankful for, fearing that Lady D'harcourt would fall out of love with him and begin seeking other suitors. As her father moved toward another group of guests, she approached him by herself. William could not help but dip his head slightly in further respect as she addressed him. A small smile crept upon his lips that quickly disappeared when she uttered his name... Will.  It was if her voice dripped with pure honey when she said it. "Mena..." He whispered back, in a bit of a state of shock for a moment until the music that blared around them brought him back to his senses. "Bien sûr, Mademoiselle D'harcourt," Offering his hand to her and considering the next song was about to be played, he wished to have his first dance with the love of his life. "May I?"

APsley HOUSE	Philomena D'Harcourt
omg!

❤

[Philomena D'Harcourt]

How did he do it? How could he so easily capture her affection with the softest utterance of her name? Had she no stacks of letters tied with silk bows chronicling the years between them, she would think it a practiced art, the culmination of three decades’ practice compelling the whole of society with this gift of his. But no. This was only for her, and it filled her body with warmth, the pale expanse of her chest flushing a fetching pink with every heartbeat.

For a moment, they merely watched each other, and though Philomena was unsure what it must have looked like to other eyes — eyes that were unabashedly staring at their host — she knew what it felt like. It felt like a return home after floating untethered in the sea. It felt like love, and god, how she ached to touch him.

Philomena took his offered hand, following his lead to the center of the floor. As the music struck up, she was vaguely aware of the other couples stirred to motion around them, but they existed only in her periphery. “I was sure you would already be spoken for, with so many ladies around.” She placed a gloved hand on his shoulder, the other reaching for his own. “Selfishly, I am glad you are with me. I would steal all your dances if I could.”

William Slade

[William Slade]

-------------------------------------------- "I only have eyes for you," William uttered back as he placed his hand on her lower back, ensuring that he did not go an inch lower than he was meant to. They were still in a proper setting and though they spoke of it in many of their correspondences together, he would never truly act on his desires unless they were both married. He would never risk her reputation like that and he was well aware that their messages were strictly between themselves and were highly unlikely to be exposed to the world. "You already know that." William twirled her around.  He embraced her smell, the way she appeared that evening, and most importantly, the way that she sounded. Her voice was what had struck him the first time that they had the pleasure of meeting. "Then I suggest that you remain in London, my Lady." As he knew that others were probably listening in on their discussion. Lady Whistledown was bound to write about their situation, but he did not mind as long as no harm came to either of their names. "You have an estate here, do you not?"

❤

[Philomena D'Harcourt]

I only have eyes for you.

It was one thing to see the words in his script, a promise carried to her over land and sea to keep her comfort even as they slept countries and kingdoms apart. It was another to hear it while face to face, in his arms the way she’d dreamed about countless nights. Philomena was far from unconfident, but even so, she was aware of the pressures a duke faced, not only from the ton but from his family. How could she fault him if he took another lover and wedded her to fulfill his duty? To know that he still wanted her — in ways both proper to society and in ways they only dared to speak in ink by candlelight — swept all doubt from her mind.

“You could not chase me from London if you tried, Your Grace.” The lady twirled under his arm in time with the other ladies around them before returning to his hold. As her hand found his shoulder again, she could not resist the impulse to stroke her thumb against his collarbone. Anything she could get without risk, she would take.

There were other things she needed to tell him, though, and these could not be voiced on the dance floor. “There are things we must discuss.”

William Slade

[William Slade]

-------------------------------------------- He only had eyes for her and nobody else. It had been that way since the day they'd met. One could call it love at first sight for the Duke of Wellington. Philomena was the only woman he really thought about for the past several years and even though he had his dalliances with courtesans, he could not stop himself from thinking about her. It had been their strong connection through messages that were sent back and forth.  "Then you will stay in London for me," He smiled gently as he swayed to the soft music around them, mimicking the other gentlemen. "And you will court me, Philomena, for I do not believe I will accept anyone else." Perhaps he was too forward with using her first name in a public setting, but the music drowned his words from any outside ears.

APsley HOUSE	Philomena D'Harcourt
omg!

❤

[Philomena D'Harcourt]

She could hardly believe the words passing his lips, every syllable a fragment taken straight from years' worth of dreams. His surety made her head swim, and whatever doubt she might have possessed of his intentions for them evaporated in that instant. People had called her crazy — all but declared her in need of institutionalization — when she had declined the the Prince of Denmark's hand, but all along, she had known.

There was nowhere she belonged more than in William's arms. How could she deny herself that happiness? How could she deny the prince the same?

"Vraiment?" She laughed as they stepped in time to the music. "I will court you? I suppose if those are the ways of London, it must be done." Her eyes caught his lips, and in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to taste the remnants of her name off them.

[William Slade]

-------------------------------------------- William knew that she was strong-willed, knew that whatever reckless thoughts he had about women disappeared in an instant whenever she spoke. The French that rolled off her tongue only made him desire her more than he already did. Was that even possible? "Oui," He responded with a small smirk. "And the world will know you to be the next Duchess of Wellington. How does that sound to you?" Was this finally it? It could not be. There must have been something wrong. She knew that France was her home. Could the Duke take that away from her? Yes, they could visit on occasion, but it was not set in stone. Rules dictated that he needed to speak to her father first before he could even for her hand in marriage. Claiming his affection toward her in public was the only way he could prove that there were no ill intentions. Wasn't his single status at such a mature age evidence enough? The music was slowly coming to an end and he let go for a moment, bowing. "I will speak to your father."

APsley HOUSE	Philomena D'Harcourt
omg!

❤

[Philomena D'Harcourt]

Philomena was keenly aware that their smiles and laughter were drawing eyes. The lady had always found it strange that gaiety and lightheartedness often found themselves out of place at fêtes such as this one, but she had never been one to let attention sway her from her own path, whatever the gossips may say. "The only thing I could treasure more than being your duchess..." She paused, separating from him at the end of the waltz as the other couples did, dipping into a curtsy before rising and stepping close once more. "Is being your wife. Mrs. Slade sounds rather fine, does it not?"

She looked around, seeing pairs forming for the next dance in the set. "First, I must speak to you. Is there somewhere we can go without being noticed?"

[William Slade]

-------------------------------------------- "Indeed there is," The duke reassured her as he let go of her hands for a moment. William would not risk her reputation, even though his intentions were to marry her. There were several eyes on them. After all, it was his ball. Lady Whistledown would have much to talk about if they were seen acting the way they wrote to each other through their correspondences. It would have been a scandal. "Follow me." After his request, he led her through the crowd without touching her hands. He wondered what she wished to speak to him about. Was it her accepting his unofficial marriage proposal? Was there somebody else in her life? Did she simply wish to torture him by declaring such a fact? He doubted there was such a person in her life, especially not after the dance that they had just shared together. Ensuring that no eyes were on them, he walked down a hallway and quickly opened the door, showing her inside.

APsley HOUSE	Philomena D'Harcourt
omg!

❤

[Philomena D'Harcourt]

TW - discussion of sibling death

It was then that the nerves reappeared, her hands beginning to tremble as soon as his touch receded and left her skin cold in its absence. There was no reason to fear the discussion before them, not with Will's intentions declared to her only moments before. Still, worry polluted her body as she slipped through the crowd and across the room behind him. Perhaps it was merely the reality of her brother's death settling on her, the adrenaline of making the journey to the United Kingdom no longer as abundant now that she was here. 

Even more so, the reality of the scandal that would fall upon her if other's discovered she was at a ball, smiling and dancing, instead of shut indoors clothed only in black. She thought of her father, so insistent on seeing his only remaining child happy and settled that he accompanied her here instead of sinking into his own mourning period.

When Will opened the door, she slipped surreptitiously inside, letting out a heavy breath as he secured the door behind them. Without turning, Philomena spoke, wanting to let the dreadful news free so that she might seek the comfort she so desperately craved. "My brother is dead."

[William Slade]

-------------------------------------------- He had sensed that something was wrong. He always could. William made sure that he maintained a distance between himself and Philomena, so that the eyes around them could not make quick judgments and in return, land them in the latest publication of Lady Whistledown. That was the last thing that he needed at that moment, given the heat he'd already received from her tongue for not settling yet at his age. "My brother is dead." His heart fell to his stomach when she uttered those few words. All he wished to do was embrace her, but he composed himself for the sake of both their reputations. Letters were something, intimacy was something else entirely. "We will marry then," William returned confidently. "I will speak to your father." He would have her and she would finally have him.

APsley HOUSE	Philomena D'Harcourt
omg!

❤

[Philomena D'Harcourt]

This was not how Philomena had expected their reunion to unfold. For so many years, she had dreamed of this day, every iteration filled with nothing but the warmth of adoration and devotion, the culmination of years of desire flowing between them. She certainly had not imagined this: Her back turned to him, attempted to hold herself together now that she was away from other eyes, wanting more than anything else that William would damn decorum and hold her.

Philomena knew the man, his letters conjuring for her a clear image of the one she loved. This meant that she also knew that he wished nothing more than to keep her from the ton's idle and malicious whispering. Still, how could she ever consider herself ruined — either in society's eyes or her own — if it were Will doing the ruining?

As she turned to face him, her eyes were glossed with unshed tears. She nodded softly, if distractedly. "It was a duel, of all things. He was a second, hit by a stray bullet. War — violence — everywhere, and Étienne- he... Merde." Philomena took a shuddered breath before crossing the room once more, locking the door they'd just entered. She leaned her back against the solid wood, feeling suddenly quite vulnerable in his presence. "I want to marry you, Will, more than anything, but I am here, right now, because I need you. Not your name, not your title, not whatever perception society may form of us. I came here because my heart is broken, and I need you to hold me so that I do not fall apart."

William Slade

★fai

WHAT IS THE POINT OF LUKEWARM LOVE?

IF I AM NOT DROWNING IN IT, I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR IT.