Post by Anthony Bridgerton on Oct 14, 2022 0:08:10 GMT
Tag: @eloisebridgerton i myself
AM CURSED TO REMEMBER
EVERY WAKING MOMENT
EVERY WAKING MOMENT
Anthony did not come to Aubrey Hall very often and there was a specific reason for that. His visits here would be due to strictly business and . . . not as they once were when the family would come to the country and enjoy the fresh air and escape of the ton. Ever since their father passed, Aubrey Hall held far too many . . . memories for Anthony. Once that constantly plagued his mind, yet they seemed to manifest at their worst here. To remember how his father died, how it had affected them all . . . and the struggle to cope in the time that came after.
Anthony was indeed cursed to remember every moment, and it was precisely why he could not bare to endure anything of it's like again. He had seen his mother, distraught, devastated beyond anything imaginable. Which was why, he would not go through such pain in losing a wife. But more importantly, he would not put his wife through that loss either. Which was why, it was best to remove love from the equation at all. His days were already numbered. He would not love and be loved, only for each to learn the pain of loss. Anthony for one, could not survive it. So despite whatever objections his family may hold, or how they perceive him to be . . . the Viscount knew it was for the best. His family always came first, above all else and thus, he would fulfill the duties expected of him.
Unsure of how long someone had been there, he finally seemed to recognize the other presence. His mind far too caught up to have heard them approach. He'd found himself in front of Edmund's grave, the memories that haunted him racing through his mind as he recalled every moment. Slowly turning his eyes rested on Eloise, breaking him out of whatever tragic trance he had seemed to enter. "Eloise," he greeted with a short nod. "If you would like a moment alone, I can make my leave." He did not speak of his father often either, he knew that. Gregory and Hyacinth held no memory of him . . . and while he wished they were not deprived so, he could not bring himself to speak of the man that he idolized; his true hero, gone forever from this world.
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖
Anthony was indeed cursed to remember every moment, and it was precisely why he could not bare to endure anything of it's like again. He had seen his mother, distraught, devastated beyond anything imaginable. Which was why, he would not go through such pain in losing a wife. But more importantly, he would not put his wife through that loss either. Which was why, it was best to remove love from the equation at all. His days were already numbered. He would not love and be loved, only for each to learn the pain of loss. Anthony for one, could not survive it. So despite whatever objections his family may hold, or how they perceive him to be . . . the Viscount knew it was for the best. His family always came first, above all else and thus, he would fulfill the duties expected of him.
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖
Unsure of how long someone had been there, he finally seemed to recognize the other presence. His mind far too caught up to have heard them approach. He'd found himself in front of Edmund's grave, the memories that haunted him racing through his mind as he recalled every moment. Slowly turning his eyes rested on Eloise, breaking him out of whatever tragic trance he had seemed to enter. "Eloise," he greeted with a short nod. "If you would like a moment alone, I can make my leave." He did not speak of his father often either, he knew that. Gregory and Hyacinth held no memory of him . . . and while he wished they were not deprived so, he could not bring himself to speak of the man that he idolized; his true hero, gone forever from this world.
There were certain memories that never seemed to fade, certain traumas that evaded her dreams, even after all these years. Her mother's screams the night Hyacinth had been born were a part of that, but so too was the day Edmund Bridgerton had passed. She'd only been seven, and not been as privy to the event as her older brother was, but she still recalled how suddenly things had changed. A normal day had soon been plagued by cries for help, the entire family flocking out of Aubrey Hall, only for their screaming mama to insist they all head back inside. Ever curious, she'd peered around and seen his lifeless body laying there — the image flashed through her mind on occasion, though she did her best to ignore that grief. 
