|
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2022 3:07:18 GMT
 Perhaps it was foolish as the season's diamond to burst out of Lady Danbury's home in a fit of tears. In, fact, she knew it was, but for once, she wasn't careful, delicate or soft. Her stomps echoed in the mostly empty entrance, silencing even the most vocal of birds fluttering about. Her breaths grew more labored in tandem. She had really planned on being alone. She at least didn't want to be seen by her sister or mother, and thankfully, she wasn't. That was the one thing she accounted for. She just should have been more cautious than that, as she found herself collapsing against a pillar. Maybe she just didn't care. Maybe she should stop caring so much all together. That was what she tried to say to comfort herself as her hands grabbed at the pillar to steady herself. And, just when she thought she had, she let out a small sob and stumbled. She did not even notice one of the Bridgertons nearby. She did not even think any of them would want to see her after the broken marriage. Why would they? She wasn't her sister. "I am a disappointment," she croaked. Her voice was barely above whisper, her throat dry and pained from crying. Although part of her also kept her voice low in hopes that no one would hear. @eloisebridgerton ★ faiA Disappointment
with Eloise and Edwina |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2022 10:35:27 GMT
eloise & edwina.  Marriage was hardly important to Eloise, she'd not been particularly bothered about her brother's nuptials, though she certainly hadn't expected things to fall apart at the alter. She'd been eager to have more intelligent women living in the Bridgerton home, and that was about the only part she'd been concerned with. Now, she knew, there'd be scandal attached to their family name, though with Whistledown's gossip sheet, it was hardly the first time. For the Sharmas, however, it would be, and she couldn't help but feeling bad for them.Kate was the sister she'd assumed to be the most like her: a spinster, an intelligent, headstrong woman...someone Eloise could look up to, aspire to be more like. Edwina had seemed the quieter, more obedient sort, not like her in the slightest. Perhaps she'd been wrong. The words were an echo of her own recent assessment, of what she'd said to her mother after her dance with Lord Morrison. Did every second daughter feel that way? A disappointment, living in the shadow of their elder sister? It had seemed different for Edwina; she was so well put together, the diamond of the season, a young lady who knew how to hold herself, how to fit in with high society. "I do not see how you could be a disappointment to anyone," she began, her eyes studying the other girl's face so carefully. "The Queen made you her diamond, Miss Sharma. You hold yourself in a way that I'm certain every young lady in the ton aspires to. You cannot truly believe yourself to be a disappointment simply because you haven't been forced into a marriage. Is that truly what you wanted? To be chained to my brother forever?"[attr="class","mizocredit"] [newclass=.mizocredit a]font:bold 6pt calibri;letter-spacing:1px;color:#b5d1f1;[/newclass] |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2022 5:32:04 GMT
Perhaps Eloise wasn't the best person to be talking to about this. She didn't seem to care much for duty and fitting in with high society. She was protected by her white face and fairly highly titled brother. And, okay, maybe Edwina didn't much care about all of this as she let on, a strange sentiment coming from the season's diamond, but she hadn't been doing it herself. She'd been doing it so she wouldn't let her mother or her sister down. She could see it all over their faces, the urgency to find a husband, a thing they disguised as looking for her love match. Did she even really know what that meant? She took a deep breath and slowly the breaths that followed started to even. She used the pillar to help bring herself upright, knowing at any moment she could collapse again. Still, she found it in herself to bring her eyes to meet Eloise's finally. She wasn't sure what she was looking for in them — reassurance, comfort, sympathy, understanding? Did she even want those things? Did she know what she wanted at all anymore? Her world felt so empty right now, especially without Kate. Maybe that was preciously why her next words fell out of her mouth much more harshly than she had ever planned. "I do not know!" She stopped a moment, taking another breath to calm herself and search for the right words. "I do not think so, but I am not like you. You are so free, so unencumbered. You know exactly what it is you want and you do not back down. H- how do you do that? How can you be so sure?" @eloisebridgerton ★ faiA Disappointment
with Eloise and Edwina |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2022 17:43:53 GMT
eloise & edwina. Free? Eloise hardly viewed herself as free. The only difference between her and Edwina, she supposed, was the power held in the Bridgerton name, and the fact she was one of eight, not one of two. There were no males in the Sharma family, but she wasn’t the oldest either. Eloise hadn’t quite figured out how Kate had managed to pass the pressure onto her younger sister, but she seemed content in her spinsterhood — unlike Edwina, who seemed so intent on marrying as soon as possible. The wedding, like all others in the ton, had seemed so rushed, yet she’d still been so surprised when it all fall apart. Her brother had seemed so intent on getting married as soon as possible, and it was clear that Edwina was eager too.“What on earth do you mean?” Eloise scoffed. Would it ever truly be that easy for her? Knowing and achieving what she wanted? “I still have to marry, miss Sharma. I cannot actually do the things I wish to — I cannot attend university, or travel. I cannot make my own way, no matter how loud I am about it. I may not be the eldest in the family, I may not have the same responsibilities as Anthony, but I am no different from any other debutante, no matter how much I may wish to be.”
If she were, she certainly wouldn’t have been out that season. She’d been given the option to wait another year, but she’d insisted she was ready — despite knowing she probably never would be. “All I am sure of is what I do not want. I do not wish to be someone’s wife, for that is all I shall ever be. A man’s property. I have a voice, and I wish to be able to use it. Men of the ton generally do not agree with that. Is it truly something you are interested in, or has society conditioned you to believe it is all you are worth?” [attr="class","mizocredit"] [newclass=.mizocredit a]font:bold 6pt calibri;letter-spacing:1px;color:#b5d1f1;[/newclass] |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2022 4:44:58 GMT
The confusion on Eloise's face was rather evident. She had those large, animated eyes and nervous, constantly-moving mouth that gave her away. It nearly made Edwina laugh, making all anger and frustration melt away for a moment. She even briefly brought a hand to her mouth to cover it. However, she poorly coughed to try to truly seal the deal. It wasn't at all convincing and she quickly shot Eloise an apologetic look. It was rare she let her pristine act falter like this, but she needed the laugh. It allowed her to finally wipe the rest of the now drying tears from her cheeks.
It wasn't that she didn't understand Eloise. Of course she did. Any woman around knew their fate. They were to marry and have children, that was all. Kate's case was rare and frankly, she was certain most the family hoped she would eventually find love, too. In fact, Edwina had always been so sure it was something Kate wanted, even if she couldn't admit to herself. Now, Edwina knew how true that really was, having borrowed her sister's own feelings for Anthony for a season.
But, that was the problem, wasn't it?
Things had been rather tough since the marriage had fallen apart, if that wasn't already evident by her tear-stained cheeks. Usually, this would be when she'd run to Kate, ask her what to do, where to go, and if it could just be the two of them forever. Now, Edwina could do nothing of the sort. She could journal. She could play music. She had some outlets to let things out, but it wasn't the same when she had been so used to sharing every waking thought with her sister and her sister alone. Kate knew things even their mother did not. Perhaps, that was why she had been so informal and eager to unload on someone who was also a sister.
"Apologies, Miss Bridgerton," she corrected. She'd entirely forgotten formalities in her rant. "I do not think that is true. You are not like other debutantes. We all may be tied together in duty, but not everyone knows what they want. Not like you. I certainly do not. You are right about one thing: I only know what society and my family has conditioned me to believe I am worth. I still wonder how you have not done the same. Am I truly so naïve?"
@eloisebridgerton ★ faiA Disappointment
with Eloise & Edwina |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2022 9:30:40 GMT
eloise & edwina. What she wanted and what she could actually have were, unfortunately, not the same thing. Eloise wanted freedom, wanted to make her own way in the world; she wanted to travel, to create, to write, to be an independent women, not held back by society. Was wanting something she could never truly have a good thing? Wouldn't it be far easier if she wished to be the perfect diamond, like her sisters? Daphne had embodied that well, Frannie was bound to be the same next season, and then there was her. The black sheep, the disappointment. Benedict was the only sibling who seemed to understand, and he had the added bonus of being a man. She wasn't nearly as lucky."I would hardly call you naive, miss Sharma. You cannot be blamed for the way society treats young women. You cannot be blamed for the boxes we are put into, the expectations set upon us. If it were naivety to blame, I dare say most of the ton could be considered as such," she hummed. Perhaps, on some level, it was – but who could blame them, when everyone was suggesting the same thing? It wasn't as if Edwina was the only one seeking out marriage. If anything, Eloise was the only one who wasn't."From a young age, we're taught that's who we're meant to be. Someone's wife, someone's mother. Find the man with the largest estate, the fanciest title, the best opportunity for children..." she scoffed, shaking her head. What a dull expectation. How exhausting life was, when that was all that was expected of one. "One can hardly believe they are destined for anything more, when society insists they are not."Only those at the rallies seemed to truly understand Eloise, and she'd never seen anyone there from Mayfair. There was a reason for that, she was sure. "If marriage is something you truly wish for, then find someone you truly wish to marry. Marriage may be a prison for some women, but I suppose it does not have to be, not if you truly want it. Was Anthony truly what you wanted? Or were you simply told he should be, because he's a viscount?" [attr="class","mizocredit"] [newclass=.mizocredit a]font:bold 6pt calibri;letter-spacing:1px;color:#b5d1f1;[/newclass] |
|
