The Aftermath

[Deleted]

The wedding was now off. Of course it was. It seemed that everything was so clear to Edwina now. Every passing glance the viscount and her sister shared seemed to continuously confirm that. Worst of all was this newfound rage simmering through Edwina, making her teeth ache from the constant clenching.. She didn't know how people lived like this. Sure she had had her moments of anger before; she was human after all. However, it had never been this intense.

More truthfully, she had never felt such betrayal before. While she was certainly close to her mother and did as she told her to, it was nothing to how closely she hung onto every word of Kate's. In what she now saw as childish and naïve, Edwina had put Kate on such a pedestal. How could she not after years of Kate being her greatest confidant, cheerleader, teacher, and her whole world? She had rarely spent a moment a part from her.

Now, in retrospect, Edwina was beginning to see just how unhealthy such codependence was. Had she ever had a thought of her own? Or had all her thoughts been borrowed from her sister just as her feelings had?

With a little bit more clarity than the days before, she had decided she was ready to explore this newfound independence by speaking with the viscount in private. At least, that was what she hoped as she arrived at the Bridgerton Estate, her heart racing more than she scared to admit.

"Forgive me, my lord," she interrupted, and bowed her head as she spotted him. A small, but somber smile graced her lips. "I hope. I am not intruding."

She swallowed back a lump threatening to form in the back of her throat.

"I was hoping we might be able to talk a moment."

 Anthony Bridgerton

★fai

The Aftermath
with Anthony & Edwina

[Anthony Bridgerton]

Tag: @edwina

i am a viscount

IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY

With the wedding called off, Anthony was not sure what he was feeling. Relief? Disappointment? Perhaps there was not one singular emotion that could sum up the Viscount's current state. There was however, immense guilt. He had never intended for anyone -- least of all Edwina -- to discover the feelings he and Kate shared. Feelings that they had not acted upon because they knew it could never be. Anthony had set his mind to the diamond of the season, and Edwina was for all intents and purposes, the perfect match. They both would play their role in society to perfection, and be content in marriage. Anthony Bridgerton, could not fall in love -- he would not allow it.

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However a stolen moment at the wedding informed his intended and she called off the entire event. Their family was recovering from the ton's shock, but Anthony could not be bothered about it. He felt only the mix of emotions that consumed him . . . his mind daring to hope of a life with Kate. But met with the harsh and cruel reality, that it could never be. Such things plagued his mind as he worked in the office, a faint knock on the door a welcome distraction. The butler informed him that Miss Edwina Sharma was here and Anthony immediately stood up. He had been nothing less than deserving of her anger and so her presence here surprised him. His first immediate thought that came to mind . . . was that if Kate was well. Had something happened to her? Anthony dare not ask as he made his way to the parlor where she had been escorted.

❖  ❖  ❖  ❖  ❖  ❖  ❖ 

"Of course," he said, motioning for her to sit as he assumed his position on the chair across from her once she was seated. A suitable distance between them, for of course he would not press his luck. He knew it would be stupid to ask if all was well, considering what he put her family through . . . and this meeting perhaps granted him the opportunity to reiterate his sentiments. "Once again, I wish to apologize to you Miss Sharma. It was never my intention to cause you harm, to hurt you." His voice sincere as his eyes rested upon her. He knew that forgiveness would not come swiftly -- nor should it for what he had done. But nevertheless, he wished to speak the words that he spoke from his heart.

[Deleted]

Edwina was shaking in the doorway as she stood before the viscount. She even crossed her arms tightly over her chest to try to steady herself. She had felt so courageous in the build up, head high, spring in her step, even her first words fell from her lips confidently. Now, it all faded. She couldn't even bring herself to be angry. She just wondered whether this was entirely her own idea. Maybe this was something Kate would suggest. Maybe it was her mother's idea swirling around in her head. Goodness, she hated how much she didn't know whether that was true or not. Still, it was too late to back down now.

She took a deep breath and tried to offer him a small smile. It was likely pained, though. How could it not be? Not too long ago this was a man she was sure she'd spend the rest of her life with. She had imagined herself on his arm at every event. She had imagined their children. She thought of the likely happy and comfortable life she could have led with him and his family. Now, that was all shattered.

When he offered her the chair across from him, she nervously sat down. She felt so small next him now. Of course she always had been, never the tallest one in the room, but this felt different. It felt like seeing a stranger or like a bad hangover, and now she was starting to regret even coming here.

"You do not need to apologize again, my lord," she reassured, finding her voice again. It was somewhat nice to hear an apology, albeit equally annoying. It was already too late. The damage was done. No apology could take that back. He had to know that.

"I think you are right," she started again. "We understand each other. We understand duty and the pressure people put on us to be perfect. I guess I mistook that for love. And, please do not mistake that for me asking for pity. I am not. I am here because I want to make sure my family is taken care of. I am sure you understand."

 Anthony Bridgerton

★fai

The Aftermath

with Anthony & Edwina