irration-el

[Deleted]

eloise & anthony.

There was anger flowing through her system, and every ounce of it was directed at her brother, even if perhaps it shouldn’t be. Anthony was only ever trying to look out for her, for all of them, and on some level she knew that…yet her frustrations had reached boiling point, and she could scarcely find the way back. Seeing red as she was, she was convinced he was simply interfering in her life to remind her that he was a man, eleven years her elder, and she needed to stop attempting to have her own life. He was the man of the house, perhaps she was supposed to be considered his property until a husband took over the role…but she refused to let that be the case.

Logically, she knew Anthony wasn’t like that…but all logic had melted away, leaving her feeling on the defensive. Who else could she take it out on? Where else could she direct it? “What is wrong with you?” Finally slipped past her lips, her shoulders tensing, as she turned to face her brother. He could easily win this argument, if it became one, but Eloise Bridgerton was nothing if not stubborn. “Why must you insert yourself into all of my business? Benedict and Colin certainly aren’t going around acting like this!” It was different. They didn’t have the responsibilities, the duties, they hadn’t practically stepped into the role of father the second theirs passed. “If I wish to go to rallies across town, how is that any of your business?”

Anthony Bridgerton

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[Anthony Bridgerton]

Tag: @eloisebridgerton

i am a viscount

IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY

On any other day, Anthony may have been able to handle one of his siblings being upset with him. He, after all, was fairly certain that every one of them despised him. Hated him. And . . . Anthony would need to live with that. He had done what he thought he needed to in order to keep his family together. Perhaps it had caused him to become the villain. The one to blame for every problem, every decision . . . and he would continue to live with that. Even if his decisions were not incorrect -- the truth about Marina being a prime example. But it did not matter. Anthony would become whatever punching bag his family needed, though he knew that most reasons were of his own doing. If there was one thing for certain though . . . his family could not possibly hate him more than he hated himself.

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What he had done to Kate, added to his own self loathing. The possibility that she may never wake up was weighing heavily on him. And so, he was far more emotional than usual. And where the Viscount did not cry nor show sadness, in its place came anger and frustration. Eloise coming to him, upset would merely ignite the flame. He looked at her, composed -- for now -- in his demeanour. His voice came out steadily but stern and strong. "It is my business, because it is our family's business," he began to tell her. "Did you not think of how it would effect us if you were to be caught in such a place?" Whistledown had exposed them and their family was barley recovering from the scandal.

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"Your beloved Whistledown has certainly made certain of that." Did she not once practically worship the author? "And it is because of your recklessness, that our family now stands where it does." Shunned by the ton. He knew that he should not scold her to such an extent. She was still learning of the world, as she had just come out this season. But Anthony had reached his limit when it came to his impulsive siblings. First Colin pulling out funds for some ridiculous investment. And now Eloise, traipsing around Bloomsbury unchaperoned. Yet through it all . . . all Anthony could focus on . . . was Kate.

[Deleted]

eloise & anthony.

Of course it was his business. He had a whole host of reasons to be concerned, to be angry at her – legally he was in charge of her, plus it was their shared family name she was dragging through the mud. Every single reaction Anthony had had in the face of all she'd done was perfectly reasonable, perfectly rational, yet she refused to accept as such. She didn't hate him, could never hate any of her siblings, but she was furious. It likely wasn't her place to be as such, but she'd already lost so much...why not push away everything and everyone else? If she wasn't enraged, she'd likely start crying, and he didn't need to see her like that. 

"Of course I thought about it, but I am not going to give up my ideals and beliefs simply because you do not agree with them!" Was it truly that bad, the 'political radicalism'? The ton would be scandalised for awhile, but they'd move on. They always did. Eloise, however, would not move on from those thoughts; she wouldn't get over it just like that, for she'd felt so strongly for so long.

Rage continued to surge through her system, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. If she met Anthony's eye, she just might break down. "My recklessness? My recklessness! Our family stands where it does because of you! My name may have been mentioned, but do you truly think they'd care so much if it were not for you and Miss Sharma? You cannot pin this on me, when you are to blame!"

Anthony Bridgerton

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[Anthony Bridgerton]

Tag: @eloisebridgerton

i am a viscount

IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY

Anthony ordinarily could easily handle the criticism. The anger directed towards him from his sibling -- any one of them. But the mention of Kate and all that had happened -- the fact that she may not even live, maybe him react more vehemently than usual. His eyes locked onto Eloise look more intently at her, feeling the anger surface as his chest heaved. He had spent the last decade learning how to suppress his emotions. So many times anger threatened to unleash itself, aware that it was unaddressed sadness and pain. So surely, he would be able to keep it together for the sake of this conversation. For the time being. Until she left . . . just until she left.

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"It is not my affairs that brought our family to shame," he bluntly stated. "The only justification is that you are still young, and still too naïve to understand the repercussions this has caused. To understand the jeopardy you have placed our family under. But it is your lack or remorse or understanding that is most concerning, Eloise." He knew she didn't deserve the bluntly stated words. He did not even truly believe them himself. But his emotions were getting the better of him. He would let his family continue to hate him and even through it all . . . kept thinking that Kate could die, because of him. He would be responsible for the death of someone else he loved. He barley survived Edmund's death. How would he ever survive Kate's?

[Deleted]

eloise & anthony.

Of course she knew how many mistakes she’d made — perhaps that was why she was so quick to jump down his throat, to at least share some of that blame with someone else. Eloise didn’t regret what she’d done, she stood by her beliefs, but perhaps she’d gone about it the wrong way. Perhaps ‘political radicals’ wouldn’t have sounded quite so bad if it wasn’t coupled with ‘unchaperoned’, a word that seemed to cause such great scandal among the ton. Of course, Eloise would much prefer it if a woman could go where she pleases and do as she pleases without a man’s supervision, but that simply wasn’t the society they lived in. She could have argued that she’d had supervision from footman John, but she wasn’t going to get him into trouble. She’d bribed the poor man, and she respected him enough not to drag his name through the mud. Hadn’t she brought shame to enough names already?

“I am aware I am not without blame! I will not apologise for the beliefs I hold, but I know I should not have gone about it the way I did…” Eloise wasn’t stupid. As far as the ton were concerned, she should have been grovelling for it all. Instead, she would be more subdued, pull back, and stick by the beliefs she’d held for so long. She wasn’t going to give them up simply because her so-called best friend had decided to publish an exposé. “Since when do you care what Lady Whistledown publishes?! I am aware the ton is whispering about what a ruffian I am, brother. Cressida Cowper has ensured I overhear all her little jibes. And yes, I may not care what the ton think of me, but I care about this family! The Queen thought I was Whistledown — she threatened our family! I intended to do everything in my power to stop it, though I suppose I no longer have to worry about that. Some of us actually care about other people!”

Anthony Bridgerton

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