Post by The Writer on Oct 29, 2021 15:53:08 GMT
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- Gentlemen should be introduced to ladies and not vice-versa.
- Introduce those parties only when they are each sure to get along.
- Only introduce a gentlemen to a lady when you have secured her permission.
- Seniority / superior persons should be introduced to lesser ones.
- When introduced to a lady, always bow and never extend your hand.
- Letters of introduction should never be delivered by the writer himself.
- Letters of introduction should always remained sealed when handed over to the recipient.
- Afternoon visits during summer months are expected only from 3PM to 5:30PM. Afternoon visits during winter months should
range between 3PM and 6PM. - Morning calls for a gentlemen require him to take his hat and riding accessory into the home with him to not make oneself appear too comfortable to the host/hostess; however, it is expected to leave your dog outside.
- One day a week should be reserved for personal time so as to be able to accept guests.
- Stay no more than 30 minutes to avoid overstaying your welcome.
- A "visiting card" should be left at the visiting residence for the expectation that a future call is made.
- Rise when a lady takes her leave of a room.
- Wait until new-announced arriving visitors are seated before taking your formal leave of a residence.
- Keep a broad range of conversation topics on hand to better adapt your speech to a varying audience; always remember to speak
to the interests of your subject so as to be agreeable to them; consider falling back to current or recent historical events when the conversation requires it. - When dealing with educated ladies, it is expected that the Gentlemen avoid topics centered on politics and science.
- Never speak loudly lest one draws the focus of the room unto himself; keep your voice low but audible and clear.
- Do not resort to slang, puns or sayings in your speech.
- Never, ever interrupt one who is speaking; the art of listening is an agreeable skill as making oneself interested in the topic at hand.
- Do not stare at a person while speaking to them as this may distract your company or make them feel uneasy; quick glances should suffice. Never constantly repeat the name of the person you are speaking to.
- Invitations and letters of acceptance should always be composed of in the first person.
- For the gentlemen, any correspondence should be printed upon plain paper.
- Replies to incoming letters should be prompt so as to not keep your writer in waiting, particularly if the request involves a
dinner party. - When meeting new people, with the expectation that you are to shake hands, remove your hat with your left hand and shake with your right.
- If you come across a lady in the street with whom you are already acquainted with, acknowledge her and proceed to walk by her side in the direction she is heading; when the conversation is complete, excuse yourself in the proper way.
- When on horseback and meeting a female acquaintance, dismount your steed and lead it and you approach the lady.
- A gentlemen's dress should be so well composed that it should never be noted by observers.
- Never allow your wardrobe to fall out of fashion but also never allow it to be too new so as to be very noticeable.
- Always dress for the appropriate time of day, let the seasons dictate your choice of colors and style; avoid dazzling patterns and style if at all possible.
- In evening hours within the presence of family, always wear black; dress up if you expect evening company.
- A black tie should not be worn when dining outside of the home.
- When in evening hours, hankerchiefs should always be white in color.
- If necessary to blow one's nose, attempt to bring as little attention to oneself as possible.
- Jewelry should be avoided when at all possible.
- When walking about the town, always wear gloves; a cane is optional; wearing gloves when entering any drawing room is also expected; always put your gloves back on before leaving a dinner table, particularly when you are expected to dance shortly thereafter.
- If your are required to wear glasses, always choose a light frame of light color.
- For the gentlemen personal hygiene is a must: hair, teeth, nails, and clothing should all be meticulously kept so as to not bring attention to any one part.
- When riding your steed on public roads, keep to the left to converse with your company; pass other company on the right hand side.
- Always aid a lady onto her horse by offering your hand/hands as a support for her foot; coordinate the action by the count of "three".
- Assist the lady in the saddle by readying the stirrups.
- If riding by carriage, always disembark the transport before the females; this will place you in a better position to assist them as they disembark.
- Never stand in front of a roaring fireplace with your back to it.
- Never offer someone the chair your arose from.
- Never lose your temper; it can be a signal of ill-breeding or poor upbringing.
- Be courteous and silent when one of your party is in song or playing an instrument.
- When leaving a formal engagement (dinner party), it is your responsibility to seek out the hostess and pay her a fond farewell.
- Dinner parties expecting a large turn-out should be finalized three weeks before the date; invitations should be sent three weeks before the expected date so as to allow your company to plan ahead or decline.
- If you must decline a formal dinner invitation it is courtesy to provide the reason as to why you will not be able to make the event.
- It is the job of the master or mistress of the home to assign gentlemen partners to ladies and these gentlemen are to assist the ladies to the table.
- Dinners of high societal guests should be conducted with rank in mind.
- It is the job of the host/hostess to arrange the proper seating for the guests so that each may find good company for the duration of the dinner.
- When first seated at the dinner table, promptly unfurl your napkin and set it across your lap.
- When your food arrives, do not wait for everyone to be served; begin eating when possible. If your portion is too hot to eat comfortably, appear as though you are preparing to eat.
- If eating foods with seeds inside, dispose of the seeds by way of a spoon; never spit food out in plain sight of your company.
- Always be mindful of which wines best accompany certain meals.
- Always wait for your dish to be sufficiently cool prior to eating; this is utterly important with soups and similar hot dishes.
- Do not be shy in asking your server what ingredients are in the meal prior to receiving it; in this way you may decline a particular dish, or portion of a dish, before it is prepared and handing to you.
- Always drink as quietly as possible.
- When the ladies of the company rise to leave (as a group), it is expected that the men of the room respond by rising (as a group). The men will remain standing until the very last lady has completely exited the room.
- If you have invited a friend to join you at a dinner engagement, it is your responsibility to ensure their happiness throughout the evening; if introducing a foreigner, give their complete name to the party.
- If you are an overnight guest of someone, always accept their proposed gestures concerning activities of the day (such as riding, walking, etc...).
- A guest should always be ready to entertain oneself; this relieves the host/hostess of the commitment to see to the guest's happiness and well-being.
- As a guest, a gentlemen should never sit idly or remain indoors with the women for long periods of time.
- If removing a book from the master's library, always gain permission to do so.
- If you are a gentlemen of modest means, never attempt to tip hired help or servants to the way a wealthy gentlemen would.
- Upon returning from your stay, promptly send out a letter of thanks to your host/hostess.
- If entering a public venue where ladies are present, a gentlemen knows to tip his hat to the company.
- If entering a public venue with ladies in your company, clear their path and lead them to their seats; in the same way, when making your way through crowded public spaces, always lead the ladies; if there is a wall present, position yourself between the lady/ladies and the passing crowds - allow the lady to walk safely with the wall on one side and you on the other.
- A lady should never pay for anything when in the presence of a gentlemen. If repayment is agreed upon by the two parties, this should occur after the event and in private.
- Never smoke in the presence of a lady; if approached by a lady while smoking, immediately dispose of your cigarette/cigar.
- A gentlemen never refuses a gift bestowed upon him.
- Always attempt to acquiesce to the requests of someone of noble rank or greater age.
- Silence is better than openly disagreeing.
- A gentlemen never boasts of his standing or good fortune; if you must speak of your extensive travels, speak of how your travels have changed you for the better.
- Do not scrape your plate or pick at your teeth.
- Do not lick your fingers to turn the pages of a pamphlet or book.