Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 18, 2021 2:29:05 GMT
I'm not bound by Benedict chuckled at her words of it being enticing, a playful challenge in both their words perhaps. "Perhaps I should make it my goal for the night then," he continued to teasingly remark. Really, he did not mind the word nice. Simplistic as it was, it did entail a lot within it as well. Perhaps there truly was not word that would adequately describe their time together, and Benedict did not wish to waste thought on trying to label it. "Quite," he said in full agreement; that a person's word was indeed of great importance. It was all a person had really. Their word and honor, the both related to one another.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "And I would not doubt yours," he assured her with a continued smile, wanting her to know that -- for whatever reason. That together, he had felt a trust for her. One that ran far deeper than perhaps he even fully realized. His lips continued to work over her body, enjoying the grip in his hair and the moans emitted from her. The enjoyment growing as she returned kisses upon him, finding that he could never explore her body too much. Nor grow too used to each kiss she gave him. Especially with her words to go along with it. Hearing that she missed this, and him . . . he prompted him to raise his head if only to meet her gaze. A softness in his own as he just relished in the sentiment of them. In her beautiful features as she said them.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Taking in her the pleasure of her words, he lowered his head to kiss her deeply, letting it linger and build before easing out of it. "I would not have you restless tonight," he assured her with flirtation in his tone. He kissed down her neck again, to her chest, but this time, continuing his path even lower still. "I would not even have you think of nights that you were," he added, tone continuing the suggestion in his voice as he did not pause his movements, reaching her stomach where he continued to kiss, inching his way lower. "Perhaps . . . " He paused, raising his eyes to look at her for a moment. "I would not have you think at all." With that he moved lower, placing his lips over her center, starting to caress the sensitive area.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 18, 2021 0:52:22 GMT
I'm not bound by It seemed impossible to stop smiling, as Benedict watched the introductory exchange between the two people he cared about. Benedict returned Henry's gaze as he looked at him, and dropped his voice, saying that he was the life of the party. Benedict was unsure he could ever grow too used to the man's kind words. Never taking them for granted, and them always meaning a great deal to him. He had never been one to be the center of attention, nor anyone of note in his family of eight other siblings. But here, he felt a sense of belonging. He felt he had some semblance of identity . . . and it made him all the more appreciative that Henry brought him into this world.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "You flatter too much," Benedict said with a continued smile, his tone teasing but also true in that the praise was always appreciated. Even when Benedict felt he did not do enough to deserve it. Benedict chuckled when Henry told Sophie about how he had spoken of her. He knew he had been rather, cryptic. For talking about the woman that he had developed deep feelings for was not easy. Especially as he kept it from his entire family. But fortunately, there was no need to keep it from Granville. The man more than anyone, understood relationships that went outside the expectations of society.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Benedict nodded as he followed Henry to where he led, the younger male's hand still on Sophie's back as they made their way through the crowd. Benedict gave polite nods and greetings along the way to those he recognized who frequented such events, though he was glad for the quiet moment with the three of them once they entered the drawing room. Benedict took the offered drink, giving thanks.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "I did, not go into too much detail. Only that these parties certain allow for many liberties to be taken, and there is no judgement nor confines here." As he took a sip of his drink, Henry explained that there would be lots of fornication and Benedict nearly choked on the beverage, eyes slightly widening. He . . . wasn't even sure why. He knew that it should be expected, and he was even grateful to Henry for preparing her.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ He was right indeed of course . . . and perhaps it merely served as reminder of what Benedict did his first night here. Wild nights indeed. Clearing his throat he placed a smile back on his lips, having been looking at Sophie to see what her reaction would be to this . . . revelation. "There will be no expectations nor pressures for you to partake of course," he quickly added. He knew by her innocence that she was a virgin. And Benedict certainly did not want to make her uncomfortable in the slightest. Nor did he want her to think that that was the reason he brought her here. Should they share such an intimate time together in the future . . . Benedict would ensure it was special. And in a more . . . private setting.
Tag ali & bunny Note: Better layout coming soon!
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 23:24:48 GMT
I'm not bound by While Benedict always loved seeing and hearing her laugh, a twinge of guilt struck him when he saw the pain it had caused her. His hands instinctively moving close to her as if he could somehow rid her of it. Which, he knew he could not. "I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, knowing that he should not do anything to aggravate the pain she was must feeling. Surely the medicine would help her; surely it would take affect soon.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ But then, she assured him that the answer would have been yes, her response causing him to softly smile. It was both, a relief and yet caused that familiar ache to be felt within his heart. Knowing she would have said yes; knowing that he had to ask. A conflict of how to feel about that . . . but he supposed, the relief in this moment was what mattered. To know that they were of the same mind. Yet, it made him want to ask her that if that was so, why couldn't they just allow themselves to give in to desire.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ He however, held his tongue. He knew she had made her decision when she'd ended things and yet . . . if she found herself here . . . Benedict did all he could to cease such thoughts in his mind. Right now, she did not need to be questioned on her decisions. It would serve as no aid to her if he started bringing up the past; if he tried to undo what was already done. He should perhaps just be grateful. That right now, in this moment, she was assuring him that she would have said yes.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "That . . . " He paused, knowing he had to guard his thoughts lest they escape and compromise all he had promised to her. "Gladdens me," he told her sincerely. "It is good as well, that you did not wait to see how long it may have taken me," he added on jokingly, though deep down, hated that something which had come with such ease previously . . . had become something he was nervous to ask for. Soon enough, she began to move towards the bed, her hand reaching for his, instantly feeling the warmth of her skin, a sensation he had longed missed.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Her words just adding to all that he was already feeling . . . and between that and the gentle tug, he did not need any more convincing nor showed any further hesitation. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, giving her a moment to shift to the side a little to make room for him. He moved one arm behind her as he lifted his feet, legs outstretched on the bed while his arm around her nestled her close to his chest. His other hand -- he belatedly realized -- had not released her own. He raised it to his lips, tenderly kissing the back of her hand as he closed his eyes for a moment.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Perhaps it was too much, but it was as if his heart truly took over. Letting the embrace linger for a moment, he lowered her hand from his lips, still holding onto it, as he tilted his head to the side, towards her. "I am glad you are ok," he breathed. He knew that she was not exactly ok . . . but saying that he was glad she was alive sounded far too morbid. He was glad she was alright, and would recover. Because the thought of losing her physically, was not one he wished to dwell on. Losing her from his heart was one thing, losing her from this world, an entirely different one.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 23:02:35 GMT
I'm not bound by Benedict was still trying to process all this; trying to wrap his head around it. He refused to believe it, despite what Henry was saying; that his father suffered from the same affliction. Benedict also knew that it he was certainly not helping in his continued denial of this news. Not when Henry . . . seemed to come to terms with it. But how could Benedict? His mind so set on the impossibility of it. On there somehow being some sort of mistake. To hear that he would soon deteriorate; that he would be bed ridden. Benedict's mouth was dry, refusal to accept this . . . to allow it to happen. Deep in his rational mind he of course knew that he had no control over it, but irrationality was taking over.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ He was listening to Henry and yet not at the same time . . . wanting to tell him not to talk like this. Wanting to offer him hope that this was not the end. Surely, it was not. And then he saw the tears fall from his cheeks and realization seemed to set in as the older male covered his mouth. It made Benedict's heart all but break, not even realizing that the sting of tears threatened to emerge from his own eyes. Would he make sure he was remembered? What a question. Benedict instinctively reacted, uncaring of any required barriers. His heart and mind too overwhelmed and the controlling need to do something consuming him. He reached forward, his hand going to Granville's cheeks, if only to wipe the tears away, yet his touch lingered.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "You will never be forgotten," he told him, his voice though filled with emotion, held a certainty in that. "I will never forget you," he added on. Nor, would Benedict know how to recover from this loss. Henry assumed that he would forget about him . . . but no. Of that, Benedict was positive. "The legacy you leave is far more than your art," he continued to tell him. Benedict was a better person because of him. More confidence. More self accepting. He had given him a safe haven to be himself. He had allowed him to develop an identity and just . . . allowed him to be himself.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Looking intently into Henry's eyes, he still was not ready to say goodbye to him. Nor would he ever be. "I can not think of a world without you in it." They may not have known each other as long as some others, yet it was often experience that bonded a person, not necessarily time. And his experience with Henry . . . there were no words to describe it. "Nor do I want to," he continued, his voice quiet, leaning forward and letting his forehead rest against Henry's, no longer caring about any social barriers that need be put up.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 21:36:09 GMT
I'm not bound by Benedict smiled at the look Henry cast him upon his words, which only prompted the Bridgerton to chuckle a little . . . for it truly looked as if Henry would fall asleep any given moment. He listened to the artist explain his early start of the day, and it made Benedict want for Henry to have adequate rest; a part of him wanting to take care of the other male.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "Yes, I should like to see it remain where it is," Benedict smiled, referring to Henry's head of course. "Or perhaps, better see it along with the rest of you, lying comfortably on a pillow." His words coming just in time for another yawn. Benedict nodded when Henry suggested going upstairs, already raising to his feet in preparation. "If you require someone to lean on to make the journey, I offer my services," Benedict said teasingly towards Henry as he started to move alongside him.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 17:26:03 GMT
I'm not bound by Benedict did indeed feel as if he was imposing on Henry, but he would dwell on that when he was more clear of mind. Right now, he could not help but selfishly bask in the offered comfort. Of remaining here tonight . . . of his hand running through his hair. "Thank you," he said again, unsure how else he could truly convey his gratitude -- perhaps words were not enough. "That is . . . this is all very of you." To say the very least. And it was indeed true, he did trust Granville. His place one that Benedict knew he was safe in, company he knew he was safe in.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "Perhaps I will argue that in the morning," Benedict said jokingly with a bit of a smile, trying not to laugh for it caused an intense pain to shoot through his chest. When Henry offered his support to help him stand, Benedict willingly took it, moving an arm around Henry's shoulders in return, while Benedict's other hand went to his chest, over his ribs as if that would help cease the pain. Which, it did not.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Perhaps it was merely instinct. He swallowed and gave a couple quick nods as if to indicate that he was ready for the movement, focusing his energy on making one step at a time . . . just as he had done to get here in the first place. "I hope that this has not . . . woken Mrs. Granville," he said with sudden realization of how much a commotion he feared to cause in Henry's home. But alas, he also needed to focus on something else, the movements leaving him more winded than he would have liked yet refused to slow to a halt. Surely, he could make this short journey to a room.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 17:02:11 GMT
I'm not bound by It would seem that Benedict had failed with the potatoes. So when Henry came to him, offering to do it . . . Ben couldn't help but feel embarrassed, though he tried to make no show of it. Perhaps if it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have minded . . . hell, he probably would have straight up admitted that he'd never peeled potatoes. But with Henry, it was different. Everything certainly was different with Henry. "It's . . . quite obvious isn't it, that I've never peeled a potato before," he said a bit sheepishly as he felt Henry's hands touch his.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Ben was becoming quite distracted from the vegetables when he felt Henry speak so close to his ear, and his hands directing him to the peeling. Benedict swallowed, wondering how the hell Henry managed to make something like peeling potatoes so sensual. Surely, this was just another skill that the man possessed . . . among the many it would seem. Benedict felt all too aware of him, knowing that if he turned his head just a little, that their lips would not be far . . . and yet, Benedict somehow miraculously managed to keep his gaze at the task before him. Hands gliding over the skin with Henry's guidance.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "That's . . . great." Was that even the right thing to say? Oh yes! Henry was talking about cooking classes. "I mean, it is truly a helpful skill to have." Having grown up with servants, it was never something Benedict had needed to learn. But, it did not mean he wasn't willing to. "I'd like that," Benedict said with a smile, the thought of doing a cooking class with Henry rather appealing. Trying to distract his mind -- though it felt as if it was an impossibility given their current positions -- Benedict continued. "As long as there are no potatoes involved," he told him with a bit of a chuckle, though not without truth.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 16:49:16 GMT
I'm not bound by Seeing Lewis's almost smile brought another realization to Benedict's mind . . . which was that he had never seen Lewis smile before. Not properly. In their first conversation, he had merely thought it was part of the man's attempt to keep some formality between them. But now realizing that he did not see the expression touch Lewis's features was curious. Of course, not to the point where he would question it. But it was interesting indeed. Benedict had never been one able to fully restrain himself from being expressive . . . whether it was shock, sadness, joy . . . anger -- a not too common emotion for the Bridgerton second son to fully showcase -- or what have you.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ So when Lewis spoke kind words of him, Benedict smiled; a genuine, sincere smile. For, they meant a great deal to him."Thank you," he responded, the sincerity of his tone matched with his expression. Truthfully, such complimenting words meant a great deal to him for he felt it was earned. And he would much rather earn a compliment rather than be given one out of expectation or merely because he was a Bridgerton. Because he was nobility. Such attempts at flattery held a certain, superficiality to them. Yet ones such as the words that Anwyl offered . . . came from reason. From cause. And it made it mean all the more to Benedict. So to hear Lewis refer to him as a good man . . . it filled Benedict's heart with flattery and a strong sense of honor. The younger male reached for the brandy, filling Lewis's glass before proceeding to fill his own.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "I can certainly attest to that," Benedict said with a bit of an amused smile when Lewis said that a good man was not all too common in London. Once their glasses were full, Benedict settled back in his chair, holding up his glass. "It makes me all the more fortunate, to presently not be in the company of such men, but rather, a very good one as well," he told him, glass raised in a casual toast, returning the sentiment for he felt the same way about Lewis. Taking a sip after his words, Benedict leaned back in his chair, relaxing himself before curiosity prompted his next words. "Is it solely your work that keeps you in London?" Benedict asked. Did he have family here? A spouse? Any other reason for remaining other than work? It was Benedict's attempt to try and get to know the man before him . . . the man he easily called friend.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 16:38:39 GMT
I'm not bound by Benedict quite enjoyed drawing such reactions from Henry; each sound, each action . . . not to mention the way he felt his body react with need. It further fueled and encouraged the Bridgerton male to continue his attentions . . . taking his time. "Perhaps," he said with exaggerated innocence when Henry answered his question, toying with the idea that it was anything but. He continued to undo each button, his lips capturing the new part of him that was exposed each time, Benedict body lowered as he was reaching the bottom of Henry's shirt. Once all the buttons were open, Benedict remained down, aligned with Henry's lower half.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ But instead of making work of undoing his breeches or relieving him of the constraints of them, Benedict instead place light kisses on the older male's growing arousal, the fabric serving as a barrier between Benedict's lips as Henry's skin. After a few moments, Benedict rose to his feet once more, standing upright as his hands moved over the opening of his shirt, sliding it down and off Henry's body. He then took each of Henry's hands in each of his own and moved them to press them in either side of them against the wall, now pressing both hands and body against it. "What would happen, if I robbed you of touch too?" Benedict asked teasingly, his hands still holding Henry's against the wall.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "What would be left . . . " He both asked and stated thoughtfully. "Taste." Benedict's lips touched the corner of Henry's mouth, still avoiding kissing him properly -- which was becoming more and more difficult to do. To withhold from the temptation. "Smell." His lips kissed right above Henry's mouth, moving along his cheek in anticipation for the next. "Sound." As he reached his ear where he nipped at his earlobe. "Is it true, that all these senses are heightened in the absence of others?" A teasing question that he could not resist asking.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 2:43:49 GMT
I'm not bound by Benedict's words had seemed to draw some form of reaction from Lewis, and the younger male attempted to understand what it was. Emotion perhaps? Lewis clearly held better skill at composing himself than Benedict did . . . but never the less, there was something that had seemed to resonate within Lewis. Benedict did not question it, he merely watched the other man seemingly process his words. Or absorb them, perhaps? Or . . . he wasn't entirely certain. He only knew that he felt the twinge of sadness for him as well as annoyance at those who would condemn him to place him as such low esteem of himself.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ But, sadly, Benedict also knew that this was the norm in society. He lived a very privileged life. A sheltered one too. But as he had grown up, and now being exposed to different sides of society . . . he felt a confidence within him, to speak up against injustice as well as the devaluing of someone like Lewis. Letting the silence linger, Benedict's expression softened as he watched him . . . before Lewis spoke of how that had been the kindest thing anyone said to him in a while. Benedict offered a small smile as he continued to thank him. "I find that both honoring and saddening," Benedict told him. The honor part was clear, to know that Benedict could tell him such truths of kindness that he had not heard in some time. But, saddening for another reason that perhaps required further explanation.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "Saddening that you are not subject to kindness more often." He paused for a moment, knowing that Lewis did not say such things for sympathy, nor was that what Benedict was offering. "But do not take my words as simply kindness. They are truth." Benedict wanted him to believe it as well, though the second son was not naïve enough to believe that his mere words was enough to undo all the judgements of society. Still. Whatever he could offer Lewis in the way of kind truths, and complimenting words . . . he would gladly, willingly, and eagerly give. "And I am sorry, that others do not acknowledge your value more often." For London society, could indeed be a cruel one. For Lewis held value as not just a surgeon, but of course, as a person.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 2:20:56 GMT
I'm not bound by the rules of society While Benedict knew that there was a level of trust between them, hearing Henry say it -- especially in this context -- inevitably brought relief to the younger male. Though of course, he showed no sign of this. He attempted to remain confident, not that it was incredibly difficult to do so. Being with Henry allowed Benedict to be free of judgement. And if this was what brought a smile to Henry's lips, and pleasure throughout his body . . . then Benedict was willing to do all that he could for the man before him.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Once the blindfold was secure, Benedict slowly drew back his lips, brushing them over Henry's jawline. Reaching his lips and instead of kissing him, let them linger just barley apart. Close enough to feel his breath but not close enough to close the distance. Each of Benedict's hands went to each of Henry's wrists, gently wrapping around them and slowly moving them away from where they had been touching him. "If I told you, it would not be a surprise," he teased with a smile, knowing that since Henry could not see him, he could at least hear it in his voice. Drawing back from Henry a little, Benedict looked over him, tilting his head to the side a little as he felt as if he was seeing him for the first time.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Mainly due to the fact of this new level of intimacy they had reached, or were reaching. Not saying or doing anything, and letting that sit in the air for a moment, Benedict re-approached, his hand moving to Henry's shirt as he slowly undid the the top button. With what little skin it exposed, Benedict leaned forward and kissed it. And then, another button as he did the same. Purposely, moving agonizingly slowly. After all, they had all night. "What do you think I will do to you?" Benedict asked him, a mischievous tone in his voice, as he spoke between each kiss, keeping him pressed against the wall with his own body.
Tag bunny Note: Better layout coming soon!! |
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 2:11:22 GMT
I'm not bound by Benedict slowly closed his eyes, feeling more than seeing Henry as he placed gentle kisses on his hand, leaving a warm sensation on his skin. Perhaps the first time he had felt anything but pain since their departure from one another. And yet, Benedict still feared to hope. He opened his eyes to meet Henry's, trying to see what he saw behind the man's gaze as he spoke from what Benedict knew was his heart. The younger male was numbed into place, his hand moving with Henry's guidance and lacking any sort of ability to move . . . or even speak.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ He just listened to him say that he thought he could run away from them. Asking for a chance to be forgiven. It made Benedict's heart swell with so many different emotions, that he felt the physical ache of it. How many times had he thought of this moment. One that seemed like a dream after realizing he would not wake up from what seemed like a nightmare -- that it had become the reality of their lives. And now that it was here, Benedict was unsure how to react.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ How to label what he was feeling. How to identify his thoughts enough to bring voice to them. Henry was saying all that he had so longed to hear . . . and yet, Benedict was unable to just throw his arms around him and pretend that everything could go back to the way it was. Of course he loved him, of course he wanted to be with him . . . but surely, it was not that simple. Nothing, ever was. He was standing so close and Benedict's gaze fell, feeling almost winded as he tried to ease the heavy beating of his heart. Though his physical stance remained composed, he felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. How he was still even standing, he hadn't the faintest notion.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "I can't . . . " He breathed, unable to form coherent enough thoughts to properly vocalize them. He knew that these words however, would give the wrong idea. Would suggest that he couldn't be with Henry when, that was not what he was saying. So he had to force himself to continue, to further explain. Though used the silence that followed them to try and regain some semblance of control.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Truth was, Benedict had none. His eyes slowly raised to meet Henry's, fighting back his own sting of tears. "I can not bare it a second time." The heartbreak. He wanted to be with the man, he wanted to trust him and be with him but . . . Benedict could knew he would not be able to survive should Henry change his mind his mind again. Benedict was scared to even consider the happiness he would find with Henry, out of that very fear.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ He needed that . . . trust. He did not disbelieve Henry's words right now. He believed, that Henry believed them. Swallowing, he continued, knowing that after Henry had all but poured his heart out to him, he owed him more than just a few words. "We should talk," he agreed. "There is, much to say and I . . . " He didn't want to do it here. The reminder of what happened last time Benedict had lost control -- whatever kind of control -- it had ended terribly.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ As if his heart took over his body, he finally was able to move, though leaned forward, tilting his head down just slightly so that his forehead rested against Henry's forehead. "Cannot find thought or voice here." That was the best way he could say it, indicating to Henry that he was overwhelmed with emotion. Also all too aware that his nonverbal action had indeed suggested that Benedict was willing. Willing to hear him. Willing to ask him. Willing to forgive him. Just . . . willing to be with Henry.
Tag bunny Note: Better layout coming soon!
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 1:48:41 GMT
I'm not bound by Benedict had not been offended nor upset by Lewis's former words . . . but the ones he spoke now, were the ones that would disappoint Benedict. Though, the second son made no show of it. He maintained his composure, though the words were indeed felt. Apology was expected he supposed, knowing it was the polite thing to do when one may have been told something other than what they presumed. For him to say it was not his place . . . Benedict of course disagreed with that, for he welcomed honesty regardless of where a person came from. But, it was his latter spoken words, of referring to himself as a lowborn Welshmen that disappointed him. It may be mere fact, but Benedict had never judged one on their rank in society. It made a person no less, nor have any less belonging in London society.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ He could certainly see how this mindset was hardly one of popularity among the ton, but at least among friends. Among those he chose to socialize with -- willingly and enjoyed the company of . . . he did not want rank to ever be a barrier. "If we are indeed friends, then it is your place," he told him. He could only hope the man did not mean that he felt it was not his place because of the status difference. Had he thought it out of pure desire to not want to talk about it, then that was an entirely different matter.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "You are free to speak your mind here. In fact, I encourage you to," he continued to say. "Without need for forgiveness or fear of repercussions. I know I have asked much of you, but I would also ask this of you." That he be honest and not feel as if he had to silence his tongue. Taking the last sip of his drink, Benedict rose to refill Lewis's glass and then his own, before positioning himself back comfortably in his chair.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "London society has many faults," Benedict began to say. "Stifling a person from being able to speak freely is one that I find most troubling." A conversation that touched on a former one they had, about expectations of conversations. "But it does not make one less worthy of being among it." Among society. As Benedict previously acknowledged, he knew his views of equality -- if it could even be called that -- were not overly common nor expected of nobility. But it was not only how he was raised, but also, how he perceived things. He did not wish for Lewis to think low of himself, at least not where Benedict could tell him otherwise in each other's company.
|
the rules of society.
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 1:24:44 GMT
I'm not bound by the rules of society A conversation with Lucy days before had brought him to Henry's residence in such a state. It was safe to say that the woman was rather . . . adventurous when it came to sexual relations. He had quickly discovered that the first night he had met her. The conversation had been rather, enlightening. Mostly centered around her platonic husband. Benedict had always been a confident individual when it came to his relations with women. What he lacked in confident with art, he more than made up for in this area.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ But as he and Henry came closer together, closer in ways that Benedict had not been with any other man . . . he found this confidence starting to build within him. Why should it be so different as it was with a woman? He cared for Henry, more than he thought possible to care for a male . . . and it was not as if he did not hold desires for the man. Enough to make him lay awake at night and let his mind and hand wander. But it had been his conversation with Lucy, that truly solidified it and thus, gave Benedict the last bout of confidence he needed. So one night, planning it to be in the absence for an audience -- for this was far more intimate than that -- prior to which he had perhaps drank a little extra for liquid courage, though remained sober -- his eyes fixed on Granville as he opened the door.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "Would you prefer I not be?" He asked him almost rhetorically. Bold. Lucy had assured him that her husband would not reject him . . . and Benedict trusted not only her, but his own instincts as well when it came to what he knew of Henry Granville. He smiled as Henry back up into a wall and Benedict kept moving forward, stopping only when his body was pressed against Henry's, practically feeling his excitement. Benedict reached into his pocket and pulled out a cloth. Leaning forward he pressed his lips against Henry's ears, ensuring to further press his body against him too. "Do you trust me?" He practically breathed in his ear, folding the cloth a little as he proceeded to to tie it around Henry's eyes, serving it as a blindfold. Should the older male show the slightest indication of protest, Benedict would of course stop. But, perhaps this was punishment indeed, for Henry making Benedict desire him so fervently.
Tag bunny Note: Better layout coming soon!! |
|
|
Second Son Free Spirit
"Should I not have a friend?
I'm not bound by
the rules of society.
Please do not tell mother."
Personal Text
Nobleman
Rank
Aspiring Artist
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
Tag me @benedict
|
|
Post by Benedict Bridgerton on Apr 17, 2021 1:06:17 GMT
I'm not bound by "She is more fortunate than many ladies, at least, that she has your protection." And there it was. Benedict knew of course that it had been assumed, implied . . . expected even, but hearing it now, made him want to revisit a previous thought, ceased only by his own recognition that Lewis may not want to hear it. The words of offering her protection, inevitably saying that she was his mistress.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ Benedict never had a mistress. It was not as if he actively strove to avoid this, but nor had he ever met anyway he wished to ask. The second son clenched his jaw, eyes falling to the glass of brandy that he cradled in his hand for a moment to keep the words from coming out . . . for a second time. Looking back up at Lewis as he continued to speak, the sudden widening of his eyes seemed to alert him that perhaps he had said something wrong. Benedict was rather relieved that he himself had not responded to Lewis to cause such realization. He did not after all, want to offend the man, despite Lewis's assumption now that he had perhaps offended Benedict.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ But alas, what offense could Benedict truly take when it looked just like that. No one looking into the situation could have known all the deep seated complexities of his former relationship with the Modiste. Benedict took a sip of his drink, knowing he should say something to ease the man's mind. The Bridgerton son remained composed, calm . . . unangered by the surgeon's remarks. And finally, he said the words that he had been fighting to keep from being said since the subject was broached. "She is not my mistress." His words were not defensive, but rather, as calm and composed as his managed to keep his demeanour. Stated as mere fact. Benedict wasn't sure why he felt the need to even explain it. Perhaps to protect Genevieve's honor? . . . Splendid job Benedict did with that considering she was clad in his shirt and laying in his bed. But still, the words were said.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ He then took that moment to allow his lips to slightly curve upwards into a smile, albeit a small one but it was there. Seeing Lewis seemingly frantic about what he had said, quick to rectify his words -- possibly to no avail -- was as rather different side of him that Benedict had yet to see . . . until now. A charming little quality of the man, but one that Benedict imagined could get him into trouble in the wrong company. But still, he found it allowed him to further get to know Lewis and for that reason, Benedict did not mind in the slightest.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ "Rest assured, I do not take offense," he told him, not wanting the man to panic or feel on edge. "It is a perfectly reasonable assumption to make." And one that Benedict had now debunked. He knew that there was no sense in going on in the explanation that he was not even certain if he and Genevieve were even friends. "Would that being friend to someone be enough, to spare them of such ordeals." He knew he couldn't have done anything to have prevented the situation . . . but it did not make him wish any less that he could.
|
the rules of society.
|
|