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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Oct 20, 2021 1:16:50 GMT
 It did her no good to eavesdrop, especially on conversations about her own future. Elizabeth knew that it would only leave her feeling hopeless and upset. It was exactly what she'd gotten when she'd stood outside the door to her father's study as he spoke to her stepmother about how he was going to arrange for Elizabeth to marry someone. The name didn't stick with her but rather the idea that her future was about to be decided and as far as she was concerned, completely over.
Instead of rushing off to hide in her room, Elizabeth found herself in the music room. It was her home inside her home. She sat on the chaise, trying to control her breathing even though she could feel angry tears slide down her cheeks. This couldn't possibly be happening. Her father was going to marry her off to someone she didn't know and someone she didn't care for. To Elizabeth, anything was to be preferred or endured than marriage without affection.
Hours passed and Elizabeth's mood only worsened. Her crying had gotten under control but she'd remained in the music room and she'd wallowed in her own self-pity.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Oct 20, 2021 0:44:01 GMT
 Elizabeth's fingers danced over the keys on the piano. A lovely melody rang through the music room within the Davenport Estate. It was a surprise that she was able to focus on stringing anything together at this point, given how weighed down her mind had been lately. Elizabeth had been doing quite a bit of thinking and had come to the decision to propose something quite unorthodox. Then again, she was fairly certain they would not be the only married couple with such an arrangement. But Elizabeth didn't care about any of that. She realized that one of the most important things in her life was Benedict and his happiness.
Of course, her own happiness would be taken into consideration as well. Elizabeth would get to spend her days with her dearest friend and even if the two were not in love, that did not mean they could not be happy with one another. She would get to continue to see not only her family, but his as well. She could spend her days playing the piano and reading books. Elizabeth could have the life she wanted so desperately to have and she saw no reason why it would not work.
"Benedict," Elizabeth spoke, her fingers continuing to move over the piano keys. "I've been doing quite a bit of thinking and I've come to the conclusion that I believe we should marry." Her eyes flickered to him for a moment, before returning to watching her fingers move across the keys.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Oct 20, 2021 0:26:26 GMT
 Thanks goodness for Benedict, Elizabeth was sure of it. He knew her so well and appeared to always help her when she needed it. Perhaps it was one of the reasons the two were such good friends. His teasing tone seemed to put her at ease, if only slightly, and Elizabeth returned his smile. "I've missed you as well," she replied, even though he hadn't said it in the same words, she knew what he meant. It was difficult for them to go long periods of time without seeing one another and letters could only do so much.
His question was one she heard over and over again. It was, of course, the polite thing to ask given the circumstances but it did not make her less tired of question. "I'm alright," she confessed. Benedict would be the only one to get her true answer. Everyone else got that she was holding up just fine or something else that society would expect her to say. "Everyone has been taking it differently," Elizabeth said. Emily was openly still distraught over her mother while her two brothers remained stoic. William tended to venture off in the evenings and she could only imagine what he was getting himself into. She worried the most about her father but she hadn't been able to get through to him and knew it was an unlikely outcome. "Truthfully, I thought this would give me something else to keep my mind occupied but I fear it has not helped much. I just feel far more pressure than I imagined," she said.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Oct 18, 2021 2:23:24 GMT
 She rolled her eyes, accepting Benedict's rather poor excuse for why he thought telling Anthony of her affections was a good idea. She'd always regarded her friend as an intelligent man but this had not been one of his finer moments. Still, it was something she felt she'd hold over his head for a while if only to continue to tease him about it. "Well I shall be sure to keep future names away from you in fear that you'd have a conversation with them," she teased in return, raising her eyebrows and shooting him a pointed look. She ended it with a knowing smile, signaling to him that it was all in good jest.
Benedict's comment about her sticking her tongue out to Anthony made her quickly grab the small pillow next to her and chuck it across the room at him. "Ah yes, the Viscount cannot have an improper wife, now can he?" She teased back, laughing lightly.
He caught onto her quiet nature and she cursed their close friendship. Benedict knew how to read her life a book. She pursed her lips together before setting her tea cup down again. "Well he did not outright propose," she began, looking down at her hands. "And I was quite cross with him for suggesting such a thing and we had quite the spat over it, but I cannot simply move on from it, as you might have suggested." Elizabeth shot him an uneasy smile. "There is a chance I might have agreed to get to know him while we are in the country. Away from all the silly promenading and prying eyes of the Ton." Elizabeth sighed and slouched in her seat.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Oct 18, 2021 1:57:19 GMT
 While Elizabeth knew he was indeed, not a Lord, she had to pretend like she did not know him at all. She had to assume he was of high standing and therefore deserved the respect of being called a Lord. Of course, Elizabeth believed he deserved respect no matter what but she was in the minority that believed everyone deserved respect. "Very nice to meet you," she greeted, placing her hand in his to continue the proper greeting.
She looked out at the crowd just as he did, ignoring his jab about how he wasn't surprised she was there. "I don't have much of a choice when it comes to which parties to attend," Elizabeth said, her voice softer so only he could hear. Elizabeth was completely surprised when he asked if a dance was appropriate. Most of the other women here would have denied him if they knew how he made a living or that he held no title. But Elizabeth did not mind. There would be a few whispers but it was nothing she could not handle and so long as they did not dance more than twice, it would be acceptable. "I accept a dance," she replied, nodding her head.
The two made their way onto the dance floor and Elizabeth dipped into the custom curtsy before placing her hand on his shoulder and the other held out for him to take her gloved hand. Now that they could freely move with the music and converse in quieter tones without catching attention, Elizabeth smiled. "So what are you doing here amongst ladies looking for husbands if that is not your intention?" She asked.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Oct 18, 2021 1:36:42 GMT
She had to believe that Benedict would have warned her of Anthony's intentions if he had been given the time. Perhaps that was why Anthony had been so quick to request Elizabeth's company after their arrival. She'd barely gotten a chance to properly greet everyone before they'd been swept off into the gardens for his wayward proposal. Still, she imagined it must have been an odd position for Benedict to be in. He'd never had to chose between his loyalty to his family and his friendship to Elizabeth because the two had never conflicted with one another. "I still don't see how revealing my past affections towards him convinced him there was nothing between us," Elizabeth mumbled, still rather cross about the small betrayal.
Elizabeth knew that many had always questioned the relationship between herself and Benedict. The two had always been attached at the hip and people had always assumed love would blossom between the pair. But instead they'd formed a familial bond and Elizabeth was quite pleased with her friendship with Benedict. He was, probably, the person she trusted most in this world. Still, he was right. She'd had to explain many times that they were just dear friends and nothing more. Elizabeth did a very unladylike thing and stuck her tongue out at Benedict at his knowing tone. He knew explaining they were like siblings did nothing to quell the curiosity of others.
"I've never understood where that comes from," Elizabeth said. Could a rake ever truly be reformed? She wasn't certain enough to stake her life on it, that much she did know. Her concern with Anthony was that he would stick to his duty but that his rakish behavior would continue behind closed doors in the most secret of ways. It was not her reputation Elizabeth worried about, but rather, her heart. Benedict had a good point that Daphne and Simon seemed to work out quite well, but Elizabeth was not nearly as knowledgeable about that relationship as Benedict might have been. "I suppose in that instance, you are correct."
Elizabeth walked over and sat down in one of the chairs, placing her cup of tea on a side table while she thought about his words. Anthony was loyal and honorable and she knew it. But still, her worries would not be quelled without seeing proof of his intentions to get to know her again. Benedict's words of them not needing to worry about any of this caused Elizabeth to pick up her cup of tea and stare very intently at it. She would not lie but did not know if Benedict would simply move on in the conversation, happy to be past it.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Oct 17, 2021 21:30:29 GMT
It didn't make much sense for her to tell Benedict about how she hadn't actually rejected Anthony's idea. Mostly because he hadn't actually proposed marriage right out of the gate. He'd merely suggested the idea and after some confusion, things had been sorted and they'd agreed to get to know one another. Elizabeth never lied to Benedict and this certainly wasn't lying. It was merely, avoiding the complete truth. She'd been far too angry about the whole situation in the first place and wanted to berate Benedict for it. She'd wanted to throw things at him and yell at him for telling Anthony about how she'd fancied him at one point.
She sighed when he said he hadn't said anything because he knew better than to speak on her behalf. He knew just what to say to get her anger to deflate. Elizabeth appreciated it immensely, as it wasn't something she was given even with her own brothers. That's why she adored Benedict the most. "And you know I adore you for that, but still. Perhaps some insight would not have hurt," she pointed out. Elizabeth took another sip of her tea and narrowed her eyes when he immediately placed a pillow in front of him for protection.
Elizabeth glared at him while he fumbled over his words. He was trying to come up with an excuse that wouldn't make her throw her full cup of tea across the room at him. "And you could not have said that you simply look at me like a sister? That should have been enough to convince him otherwise! Honestly, Benedict. It's a wonder I tell you anything." She huffed and walked over to the window, staring outside at the garden. The garden she'd just spent time with Anthony in. "Perhaps your brother should focus his efforts elsewhere. I can't imagine any reputable woman overseeing his prancing around with other women. Why accept a proposal for someone who plans to continue having a mistress?"
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Sept 27, 2021 0:43:43 GMT
 His question of how she could be so certain that affections would not be returned made her raise her eyebrows and look at him with uncertainty. His mood seemed to be on edge and Elizabeth knew she had to watch what she said. This was not a conversation she was having with Benedict where she could say as she wished and did not have to worry about repercussions. She did not have that sort of relationship with Anthony and it seemed as if their childhood friendship or fondness for one another had disappeared, at least on his part. "Do you believe you could ever hold affections towards me?" Elizabeth asked. "I am the same girl you have always known. It is not within my knowledge whether or not you think you could ever see me in that light."
Even though she was loathe to admit it, she knew that Anthony was right. True affection could not be developed over a single glance. Those were the ones that were based on other sorts of desires and often did not last. Though Elizabeth knew her parents said they had known at once they were going to fall in love with the other after meeting just twice. Elizabeth could not be certain if they were simply making it sound lovelier than it was, or if it had been true. But she'd never been a silly girl to believe in love at first sight or think that's what she wanted. All she truly wanted was for someone to love her and to be important to someone else.
His words about wanting to get to know one another seemed to be what she wanted to hear. Elizabeth had been so quick to judge his initial statement that she'd believed Anthony Bridgerton had intended to ask her about if she thought they should get married and have that be the end of it. It wouldn't be a complete surprise, as she did not take Anthony to be a romantic type. But still, it made her feel better knowing that he was not wishing to marry her simply to satisfy their families wishes and that he was considering whether or not they would be a good match.
Anthony mentioned her holding affections towards someone else and her gaze snapped up to look at his, her nose scrunching up in an, what she could assume, was an unattractive way. "Of course not," she replied. "If there were someone else I would have said as much the moment the word marriage left your lips." Now Elizabeth felt a little offended but had to remind herself that wasn't how he meant it. Taking a small moment, she composed herself and looked back at him. "But I do appreciate you trying to clarify the situation at hand." No doubt there were some gentlemen that would simply not care if the woman they wanted held affections towards another.
He was not willing to pursue this if she truly did not think she could be happy with him. Elizabeth did not know if she could be happy with Anthony, but she knew she could be happy with the life she would have with him. She would get to remain close to not only her family, but his. Her life wouldn't change nearly as much as she dreaded, which was all she had really wanted more than anything. Of course she wanted a husband that loved her but if that was not in the cards, then this was the golden opportunity she knew she had been looking for. "It is not my happiness that concerns me," Elizabeth finally spoke. "I have concerns but, none that would make me walk away from this idea in this moment. Childhood affections can return as quickly as they disappeared if two people can have wonderful conversation with one another. My concern has never been my happiness, but yours."
She bit the inside of her cheek for a moment before deciding to continue. "I have loathed the idea of marriage for quite a long time. Mostly because I quite like my life and my family, and do not wish to see it change too much. I know they are silly notions but my family is the most important thing to me. I simply cannot bear the thought of a man using marriage to me as a transactional thing because that is what is meant to happen." She rubbed at her forehead with her ungloved hand for a moment before standing from the stone bench. "If you truly wish to get to know me to see if you can even stand having a conversation with me, then I do not see why we cannot get to know one another. It would be far better to do so under the eyes of our families in the countryside than the prying eyes of the Ton."
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Sept 26, 2021 23:07:17 GMT
 Elizabeth hated everything about the social season. She hated the attention from gentlemen that pretended to be interested in what she had to say, when she knew they really just wanted the title that would come from marrying her. The Davenport family was esteemed among London's finest and Charles Davenport, Marquis of Winchester, currently had one daughter and one son on the marriage market. His eldest son, Alexander, was currently married with an heir already produced, which made the Marquis rather proud. But he was a good man and his reputation showed that. Perhaps it was why he'd had such a good friendship with the patriarch of the Bridgerton family until his death. The two men had been cut from the same cloth. Good men at heart that cared for their families above all.
She knew Eloise had been dreading her season for about as long as her memory could go back. The two were apart in age, but Elizabeth and Eloise had always bonded over their lack of desire to be paraded around. Their reasons were a little different, as Elizabeth had wanted to remain in the country with her family and not have to worry about being married to a man she couldn't stand the sight of. She knew Eloise had dreams of being a writer and Elizabeth always encouraged her when possible.
It was how the pair found themselves in the drawing room of the Bridgerton Estate, Elizabeth reading a book while Eloise did something else. They were meant to be discussing Eloise's upcoming debut but Elizabeth had been fine with simply spending time with her friend and girl she considered to be a younger sister. Closing her book for a moment, she sat up and reached for a biscuit off the tray. "Eloise, what have you been writing about lately?" Elizabeth asked.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Sept 25, 2021 17:14:26 GMT
Elizabeth disliked the balls and the courting. She'd said once to her sister that she cared not to be paraded around like a heifer for sale, which had caused Emily to giggle. But her father was a Marquis and therefore it was not something she could simply get out of. While he was lenient in most things, even Charles had made it clear that Elizabeth needed to marry soon. She'd already stalled her first season after the death of her mother, then another social season had been delayed due to the death of her intended. Of course, Elizabeth had not really been in mourning for Arthur but she'd enjoyed staying reclusive in their country estate for an entire season. Putting on a fake smile, while something she was quite good at, was not her favorite past time.
This ball was no different. Ladies were being shown around in the hopes of catching the eyes of a gentlemen worth catching. Men were looking for wives to get heirs out of or to simply get money from. It was not for Elizabeth's taste but there was nothing she could do about it. Her only saving grace was that tonight she was being chaperoned by her eldest brother, Alexander and his wife, Marie. Her father was also around here somewhere but he'd tasked Alexander with chaperoning his sister for the evening. The two had stepped away to get something to drink, leaving Elizabeth removed from the socializing for a moment to breathe.
Someone came up beside her and she readied herself to lie and say her dance card was full or that her brother would be back any minute, but instead she found herself unable to speak. It took only a small moment for her to regain her composure before she offered a small smile. "My Lord," Elizabeth said. "Forgive me, I do not believe we have been introduced. Lady Elizabeth Davenport," she said, dipping into a small curtsy. They might have been removed from the larger crowds of the ball but that did not mean they were free from curious eyes and ears. Elizabeth knew how these people worked and would not fall victim to their cruel rumors.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Sept 25, 2021 16:54:42 GMT
Elizabeth was not the least bit surprised that Anthony had taken her words and used them to make assumptions. He believed her mention of dishonor was about him simply suggesting a marriage. Perhaps Elizabeth had made assumptions of her own. She'd worked under the assumption that he did not mean to court her or follow any traditions. Truth be told, Elizabeth did not care for most of them. She did not feel the need to promenade around for everyone to see his intentions and she certainly did not expect, or even want, gifts to be dropped at her feet every time he visited. Visits were all she cared for, as Elizabeth thought that spending time with someone you cared for was the most wonderful way to express fondness. "Forgive me, My Lord," Elizabeth said, her voice quieter. "For I made the assumption your intention was to make the suggestion to me and be done with it." No doubt he'd have no trouble gaining her father's permission, but Elizabeth knew this was not her biggest gripe with the suggestion.
His next set of words made her pause completely. Had she heard him correctly? He spoke of reconsidering her words about a marriage without affection. Elizabeth felt her face warm, whether it was out of embarrassment or anger, she was unable to tell. Had Benedict said something? She was going to kill him where he stood. And to assume she thought so highly of herself was offensive but Elizabeth knew that pointing it out would get her nowhere with Anthony Bridgerton. She was not a woman with her nose in the air but in a situation like this, all she wanted was to be loved or cared about. How could he, or anyone, blame her for wanting such a thing?
"You have answered none of my questions," Elizabeth pointed out. "And beside the point of your information being outdated, perhaps you should not make assumptions, but rather that I was referring to a marriage for myself with unreturned affections." If he wanted to point out the past affections she'd held for him then that was fine, Elizabeth would deal with Benedict later.
Elizabeth moved and sat on the stone bench amid the flowers in the garden. Her fingers moved across the stone's edge as she avoided eye contact with Anthony. It had turned into a mess and she'd gone and spoken without thinking. The realization that marrying Anthony would not be the worst she could do washed over her. But Elizabeth could not get past the idea of a life with someone that did not return her affections. She might not be fond of him now but she had been at one point and there was no doubt it could grow again. But to have a husband that simply saw her as a duty? Elizabeth was not sure she could survive it. "Both of our parents were love matches," Elizabeth spoke softly. "Do you not wish the same for yourself? I may not know you as I used to, but I know I still wish it for you; to be happy."
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Sept 19, 2021 4:39:04 GMT
 By this point, she was incredibly skilled when it came to thanking people for their offer of condolences. She'd gone through it with her mother and then again with Arthur. One death had been significantly tougher for her but it had prepared her for how to act when it came to Arthur. She had, of course, mourned him as a person but not like a husband. "Thank you," she said with a small smile before taking another sip of her tea. The mention of needing new dresses made her scowl into her tea before she pulled it away from her face. "Yes, I have new dresses. My step-mother has taken care of all of it. I believe she's quite eager to get me married off." She was probably the most concerned in the entire family of Elizabeth's unmarried status. Her father knew she had to get married but as the two had always been so close, Elizabeth could tell that he wasn't pushing her out the door like his new wife was.
Elizabeth waited, curious to see what had troubled Caroline. She did not, however, expect her to say the things she did. The accusation, while true, was rather bold and would have most people in quite a huff. "His travels during the war were nothing but a rumor at that point and I saw it as such given that he was looking for a wife. He was pleasant and had a good reputation. I do not know what else you'd like me to say on the matter."
It was no mystery to her closest friends that Elizabeth was less than eager about social seasons and getting married in general. "Because I have no interest in being paraded around like an object for sale," she nearly snapped. "I quite like my life the way it is and have no interest in finding a marriage without affection, no matter how much money he might have. What is important to you is not important to me and I'd think you would have known this by now." Elizabeth was a little cross with the whole conversation, having no idea where the frustration from Caroline was coming from. She would have thought her friend would be pleased at Elizabeth not wanting to be participate in the social season. That would mean more of the eligible bachelors could put their attention on Caroline.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Sept 19, 2021 4:11:28 GMT
 She chuckled and shook her head. "Hardly," she replied. Elizabeth had never considered herself a saint or someone that did saintly things. Being nice to those around her was usually a given but putting up a wall for outside society was apart of her demeanor. But now, with Maryanne and Joanna, this was different. Joanna was considered apart of her family and while she had no personal attachments to Maryanne, she'd taken the task as if she were family.
Elizabeth was glad to hear that Maryanne was going to be able to stay and that she'd be able to earn a living. She could only hope that she would taken this opportunity to forge a better life for herself but at this point, it was completely out of Elizabeth's hands. She'd done her part and while she would continue to worry for Maryanne, she knew she could not continue to intervene. Elijah was right about one thing; Elizabeth being here would not bode well should it ever come to light.
"Speaking from experience, perhaps?" Elizabeth asked, a small, amused, expression on her face. She tried to subdue it but knew it likely failed. It was not completely unheard of for girls of her status to get involved with men that they shouldn't. There was an allure to the danger and darkness of the things they should not touch. "I have two elder brothers and a father that would likely not be pleased if they were to find me in a place like this. Although something tells me at least one of my brothers has visited establishments like this before, if not this very one." No doubt William had found entertainment here at one point or another.
"If you wish to refuse the favor then by all means, please do. But I made the offer and will uphold my end regardless. As I said, so long as it is within reason." He seemed smart enough to not ask for anything out of her reach or anything that would jeopardize her status. He'd seemed overly concerned for her reputation which isn't always the case with a man such as him. "I do," she said. Her carriage was waiting in an alley just as he'd guessed. She chuckled and pursed her lips to keep a smile from her lips. "Not at all. It was offered and I trust him to keep our adventure from the rest of my family," she said. Truth be told, she was sure he had a soft spot for Joanna and was doing this for her.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Sept 14, 2021 2:11:48 GMT
Relief washed over her as he finally agreed to let her stay. Elizabeth wasn't sure what she would have done had he turned them both away. No amount of coin or enticing favors could guarantee any outcome, and she'd been aware of that. She felt Maryanne breathe a sigh of relief as well, the woman physically relaxing as she nodded and turned to do as he asked, but not before embracing Elizabeth in a hug and thanking her for all her help.
It was perhaps not the wisest of choices to offer a favor to someone like him but Elizabeth had been quite desperate to get him to take Maryanne in but she'd come prepared to pay the price. "Am I to believe you turning this favor down?" She asked, raising an eyebrow in question. Elizabeth had to admit, it was a little amusing to think of someone like Elijah Hamilton turning down a favor that most men would jump at the bit to get. It was amusing even more when he mentioned the nunnery, as Elizabeth had suggested exactly that. A small chuckle escaped her lips and she shook her head. "She appeared to have quite the distaste towards the idea when I proposed it," Elizabeth explained. "I do not wish to bring any trouble to you or your establishment. I believe the man that previously employed her was named something like Higgins or Hickson, if that gives you any information." Elizabeth did not pretend to know everything about everyone when it came to this world. This was not the Ton and she was out of her depths.
Elizabeth was unsure if she should find his comment offensive or not. He was practically accusing her of living a sheltered life, but he was not wrong. "Perhaps," she said. "But it was a risk I was willing to make and I shall face the repercussions on my own, should there be any. I might come from a privileged life but there's nothing I wouldn't do for those around me," she explained. It was as if Elizabeth felt the need to explain that she wasn't being a complete idiot. She had a reason for taking these risks.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Sept 13, 2021 1:31:40 GMT
Elizabeth found she was quite surprised that Benedict had known about his brother's plans. He had known and had not advised against it? Surely he would have told his brother that there was no way Elizabeth would accept his wayward proposal. But he sounded sincere that he had not been given enough time to warn her and she believed him, because she always believed Ben. The two had promised long ago to tell one another everything and as far as she was concerned, they had upheld that promise in every sense. Instead of arguing with him, she nearly huffed in annoyance, a very un-ladylike thing, and continued to sip her tea.
She shot him an incredulous look when he asked if she had accepted. "Do you truly think I would be in here discussing this with you if I had?" She asked. "And did you truly not tell him that you knew I would reject such an invitation?" Elizabeth shook her head and rolled her eyes. The whole thing was disastrous but she could tell that Benedict was quite amused by the whole thing.
The most important part popped into her mind and she whirled on him in an instant. "And you!" She exclaimed. "You . . . you . . . squealer!" Elizabeth nearly shouted. "You are quite lucky this teacup is full because you know I have a penchant for throwing things and I'd quite like to throw things at you now! I cannot believe you told your brother that I fancied him at one point! How did that happen?!"
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