no life without wife

[Clara Honeyfield]

He did not wish for his daughter to grow up without a mother. Yes. Yes of course that made sense in words, but not in her. Perhaps with time she would come to be able to seperate her feelings from this, but for now . . . for now she felt inadicate.

Not from her abilities, but in their lives. For she had built herself a life here with them, and a mother and a . . a wife. Where not what she was. Not for them.

He next words made her push a forced smile to her lips, though the faded before she could begin speaking. Yes, of course that is what she should be concerned about. Her position. "Of-of course. I would stay for Lina." Though a wife might disagree with that. She would have the power to make this wonderful world of her's fade. "I had no thoughts of leaving until she's of age." Girls after all did not need governess forever. They needed mothers.

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

She confirmed that she would stay for Evelina; that she had no intention of leaving until she was of age. Though, Slade knew that such ties would not be so easily severed. And that they would indeed need to find ways to remain in contact. He doubted Evelina would be so ready to let her out of her life, even at that age. Even with a mother.

❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖

"What troubles you?" He asked, knowing there was something else. What it was, he did not know. She had told her that his decision had nothing to do with being dissatisfied with her work -- which hopefully she believed. She knew she would not be dismissed even if another woman was to step into the role of her mother. So, he wondered what was it specifically that brought her concern. Or caused her smile to falter. Or her words to be stammered. There was something, and he hoped he could bring ease to her mind should she voice it to him. He would much rather it be addressed for he had vowed long ago, that Evelina's governess would want for nothing.

[Clara Honeyfield]

What troubled her? It was a reminder that she was letting her personal feelings invade. Her mother, who had raised her to be proper in everything she did would be horrified. Yet she realized with his words of concern for her what her feelings were. Why they hurt, and felt sharp in her belly, and chest. Why it felt as if she had been falling without sight of anything to catch her. Why the idea of a mother for the child she loved, and a wife for him hurt so very much. Why she felt like crying, despite the ability to hold her inside.

And she realized the fruitlessness of such emotions.

Her tongue wet her very dry lips, and she lifted her chin slightly. Not enough to appear arrogant but to look at him evenly, as she had done before his deceleration of a wife. "Forgive me for for appearing troubled, I was simply caught unaware. You must admit this was a surprise." She excused, knowing it was not the truth, and knowing she was now telling an half lie. She had not been 'simply' caught unaware. There was, after all, nothing simple about only realizing you were falling in love, the moment your heart was broken.

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

She spoke of this being a surprise and that she had just been caught off guard . . . but something about her reaction indicated otherwise. He was unsure what, but there was something. He did not disbelieve her but there was certainly more to it. Yet, he would not pry. He trusted whatever she told him and would leave it at that. Perhaps it was just the adjustment and the changes that would inevitably come with the addition of a Lady in the household.

❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖

"Had you believed that the day would not come?" He inquired. There was no accusation in his voice by any means. The question held genuine inquiry. He was curious as to whether she thought him to remain a widower for the rest of his days and with Evelina having no secure mother. He, certainly would not blame her for the assumption -- considering his nature. But he could not help express his wonder in what she had thought, or how she had imagined the next several years playing out.

[Clara Honeyfield]

Yes, she had believed, foolishly, that this day would not come. That this could be her family. "You have never spoken of wishing for a wife. I am only surprised to find you have been thinking of one." Despite this words of wishing for one his daughter, a mother was almost a wife. A wife who shared his life, and more.

She glanced toward the door, wishing to escape from the thoughts, but knowing that she could not walk away from the emotions as easy as she could walk out of the room. "I wish you all the luck in your hunt, Mr. Slade." She told him softly, knowing it was all she could do. And that these personal conversations would need to grow less and less. For her her sake, and his w-wifes.

Pushing to stand up, she step closer to where he sat and--even knowing that he did not like to be touched--rested her finders on his shelve so he would know she was still there for him. "You deserve to be happy. Just as Lina does." Moving her hand back she looked down at him, and cleared her voice with a slight sound. "I should be off to bed. No doubt Lina will be a bundle of chaos after hearing the news on the morrow."

Reuben Slade