no life without wife

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

Slade had returned to his estate from his business, earlier than usual. But it was not without purpose. For the past little while, he had been considering something . . . a very big something. It was not a decision he made lightly nor one that he made without thought and careful consideration. He was meticulous in all that he did and upon deciding something, would ensure that it came to completion. This, was no exception.

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The only difference . . . was that it involved his personal affairs more than his business ones. Which, were far more important to him. His daughter was everything to him, and she deserved to have a mother in her life. He had been most fortunate to find an incredible governess and caretaker for her . . . but he wanted that maternal role. A mother for her, and one she could call as such. It would not be easy, and Slade knew that engaging in the social season would test his patience and tolerance to an extreme like never before . . . but every effort would be worth it. For his Evelina.

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Before he could make such arrangements however, he needed to speak to one another person. For, her presence was vital. He would not travel to Mayfair without her and even though he had reached this decision, he wished to tell her before anyone else. After putting Evelina to sleep, he could hear her approaching footsteps as Slade sat in the drawing room, the door open and a few candles offering some light.

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She stood by the door, most likely to tell him that she was off for the night. But, Slade needed to speak to her first. So before offering words of farewell or see you tomorrow, he instead, made his intentions to speak to her known. "Will you remain a few moments longer," he requested. "There is something I must speak to you about." With that, he turned his gaze to the seat across from him, silently indicating for her to sit down.

[Clara Honeyfield]

Clara tucked her young charge into bed, and once she was sleeping, tidied up the room a bit before closing the door in order to keep the warmth from the fire in the room. In her hand she held a bit of mending that she wanted to touch up on tomorrow, and dropped it off in morning room. She knew a servant could handle it, of course, however she like for Lina to see her mending. While Lina might never have to work, as Clara did, she wanted Lina to know how to take care of herself as well.

After dropping off the mending she found Mr. Slade in the drawing room. When her eyes found him, she smiled softly and paused by the door, her hand resting on the frame as she bid him a good night--however this time he asked her to linger for a moment. Something he did not normally do. "Of course," she told him, following his silent 'request' to take the seat opposite of him. "Does something trouble you?" She asked, once seated. Her legs tucked to the side neatly, and her fingers resting on her legs.

She was curious, but unworried about what he mist want to discuss. While her words where asking if something was wrong, she had not ever been given reason to worry about her position or his thoughts of her abilities to do the job. Whatever he had seen in her that first day, she assumed he still thought it.

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

Slade was looking at the space in front of him, but not directly at her, even when she moved to comply with his request of sitting across from him. The wheels were in motion in his mind, thinking of the magnitude of this decision. Of the challenge it would pose to find someone that Evelina could safely call mother. The . . . risk of bringing such a person into their lives. Perhaps he had put it off for so long for on some subconscious level, he knew that it would post a great difficulty. Or, that he would never find the perfect mother for her. This had nothing to do with having a wife, and everything it do with finding the best mother for his daughter. He moved his eyes so that they met Clara's gaze, as he began to answer her question.

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"I am making arrangements to journey to London for the upcoming season," he began, referring to of course, the Social Season. He knew that part of this, was also to ensure she was able to come. He knew she had family here and if required, would even allow them to come with them if that would guarantee her presence. He needed people he could trust; in bringing Evelina, came the risk of her existence being exposed and . . . then of course, there was his family who would be there with whom, Slade was not particularly close to. As none of this was Clara's concern, he continued to the part that would indeed effect her. "Evelina will be coming with me. And I should like to have you come with us as well." The words lacking in command; there was a request within them. One which would allow her to freely object -- to which he would seek to convince her but never force her -- or assure him that she could manage this. All he did know, was that both he and Evelina needed her to be there.

[Clara Honeyfield]

She did not have to wait long, for his directness gave her the answer soon enough. He was going to London for the season? Her face took on a very subtle surprise, but this was not as much as his next words. He wanted her and Lina to go as well? Her face turned from surprise to a smile. "You do?" He wanted them with him!

It took her a moment to realize he would need an answer, even though he had not asked her out right. "Yes," she told him, "Of course I will go with you and Lina. I would enjoy visiting London very much." After all her family was there, and this would allow her to plan a visit with them as well. And do some shopping with her savings that she had managed to save up. Even take Lina to a real book shop!

Yet there was a few questions. He kept Lina tucked away in the country, and while Clara did not know the details of what he did--the many protections in place hinted at it being less than popular with everyone. "Do you intent for Lina to be introduced to society? Or is she going simply to visit the city?"

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

Slade took her initial question to be a rhetorical one, perhaps the evident surprise at the request having prompted the inquiry. But she soon enough answered, stating that she would join them, and that she would enjoy visiting London. That brought Slade ease, that she would journey with them with genuine willingness and that it was not a means to force her. Though he believed to know her well enough to have assumed this would not pose as an issue -- considering the years she had been employed as Evelina's governess, and so much more -- Clara's comfort was still incredibly important to Slade. He would not do anything to compromise that, for it would undoubtedly effect Evelina as well.

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Her next set of questions were indeed valid ones, and inquiries that required proper answer so that Clara would understand the circumstances when going to the city. "She will not be introduced to society," he told her. He still intended to keep her protected and safe. While he knew the risk that this involved, he also knew that he could not be separated from her for months on end. And should he find a mother for her, the two would need to meet before he solidified the union into marriage. "But I expect she will spend some time with her grandmother, uncle and aunts." All of whom Slade was not particularly close to but he would not deprive Evelina of the opportunity to spend time with her family. "And should it be convenient--" For both Clara and the circumstance -- "Your family as well." For he knew that Clara would wish to visit them, and taking Evelina with her would allow her that extended time there rather than solely remaining in his estate in the city.

[Clara Honeyfield]

Not there to be introduced but there to spend time with his family, and . . . and her's? Smiling at him, Clara wondered if there was ever a more perfect job she could have found--and then doubted there was. "That all sounds wonderful!" She admitted, thinking of how much Lina would like to play with other children. It would be so good for her.

"I am sure my mother would welcome Lina to visit. And with permission, I would like to take her shopping while there, and to the some of the museums. I think a visit to the city would be wonderful for her." There was so much to plan for now! Lina would need some additions to her wardrobe, and perhaps some new bonnets.

Speaking of bonnets . . . "Shall we be going alone, or will Sir Gilly join us?" Though by her expression (one of knowing amusement) she already knew the answer. The little bonnet eater was coming too. Lina would be thrilled!!

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

Slade could see her genuine happiness over this idea, accepting it and embracing it. It did give relief to the crime lord though he would not admit as such. For he wished for Clara to be content . . . happy. He owed her a great deal and while he had quickly learned that she was quite a jovial individual, he still wished never to do anything to compromise that. Hearing her give assurance that her mother would welcome Evelina, and make such plans to take her shopping and to historical locations . . . well, it was constant assurance that he had indeed, forever made the right choice as to who to entrust with his daughter.

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"That would be good," he agreed with her. "But I do expect continued discretion as to who she is." Meaning his daughter. Being in the city would place a larger target on his back. It was smaller, more congested. There was more happening and more distractions. A larger sea of people and thus, easier to blend in for them to target him. Out here, they were distanced, secured and safe. There . . . it would be quite the opposite. "You will also be accompanied by a minimum of two guards at all times." Just as it was here, but . . . Slade would be far more diligent there. Giving a slight smile at the mention of Gilly, they both knew the answer though he could appreciate her teasing inquiry.

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"We both know it will not go well, should we inform either of them they will be separated for the next several months." Which meant, Sir Gilly would be accompanying them. "We still start the travel arrangements within the next two days." For there was much to plan and Slade preferred getting there a little earlier. He did have business to conduct for he would not have as much time in the evenings due to the countless social events. And of course, he would have family to deal with as well.

[Clara Honeyfield]

Clara nodded along as Mr. Slade explained a little more. She had expected she and Lina would not be out unsupervised. While she was still not certain the details of Mr. Slade's businesses, she was clever enough to know that he was taking precautions to assure that his business did not come to harm his daughter. That was, of course, something she could respect. And admire in a way. A father who put his daughter first in everything. It was one reason, Clara assumed, that Lina was so well adjusted to her life.

His one comment made her smile in amusement, "Which do you think would toss a bigger tantrum? The goat or the girl?" She asked, since he seemed to hint that the goat would be displeased as well. And It just might! Lina and Gilly had grown quite close. "Would like to tell Lina? She will be over joyed for this news. Though I fear the carriage ride with Sir Gilly."

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

Slade listened as Clara asked who would throw a bigger tantrum; Sir Gilly or Evelina. "I loathe to think what Sir Gilly's tantrums would entail." Outbursts from Evelina, he could handle. But a goat who was throwing a tantrum . . . well, the limitations may be far less than that of a person. He hated to think of the destruction that would ensure should Gilberto do so. Fortunately, Slade had not yet had to discover what it involved when a goat threw a tantrum and was in such a state of upset.

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"I will speak to her about it tomorrow," he told Clara, knowing that Evelina would indeed be overjoyed by this news. Overly excited and . . . probably would be talking about continuously until they departed, and perhaps even during the journey there. "We will have to take frequent breaks." Slade knew that he could not expect Gilberto to sit in the confines of a carriage for very long. Especially when he had to relieve himself which . . . it was most fortunate they now knew the signs of. Who knew, that one could casually train a goat and familiarize oneself with its tendencies.

[Clara Honeyfield]

Clara knew that the conversation could have ended when he told her the date they would begin, however, she had quite come to enjoy her conversations with him, and felt no need to hasten the meeting along. She knew a good governess would, and yet she'd never felt like an employee since the first few weeks here. While it was fanciful to think, Clara assumed they were friends of sorts. It was something she felt comfortable in.

"I should fear for the ones left to care for him. Either we would find only Sir Gilly in residence at our return--or return to a supper of mutton." The last part came out with a brighter smile, as it was a joke and they both knew that no one would DARE harm Lina's pet. Not just for fear of their employer, but for fear of hurting Lina."I will write to one of the local farmers, and seek information about travel with goats. See if any suggestions can be found?" Doubtful, yet perhaps something could be found to help.

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

Slade gave a slight smile as she spoke of being fearful for the ones left to care for him. "Fortunately, will be not need to explore what could happen should he not be in our company." And Slade intended to bring his household staff as well. People who were familiar with Evelina and Gilly, as well as the management of the household. And most importantly . . . people whom Slade trusted. For that, was the absolute key: trust, loyalty, and discretion.

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He gave a small nod when she made the suggestion to research a bit about traveling with a goat. That would certainly help with Gilly's comfort and aid in accommodating him. But alas, he would leave that with Clara as she did a fine job in taking care of his daughter and her goat companion. Besides, hiding his existence in the city would not be as easy, with the walks he would require. "There is something else," he began to say, knowing that he would have to be honest with her regarding this for . . . it would eventually affect her and her charge of Evelina. "My intention of entering the Social Season, is to find a wife for Evelina." His words coming out leveled, for it was not a decision he came to lightly but now that he reached it, he would not rescind.

[Clara Honeyfield]

Clara saw the smile, and it made her feel pride in that she was able to make him do so. Looking down for a moment she smoothed her dress out, before looking back at him. Something more to do while an emotion other than pride lingered. One she wasn't sure she could name, but one she did not mind.

There was something else? Her face tilted just slightly while she watched him with a warm smile causing her lips to tilt up just slightly. A sign she was enjoying this time with him. Then he spoke of seeing a wife for his daughter's benefit. Wife. Clara blinked a few times as the words slowly settled on her. A wife. Her smile slipped off her face, and for a moment she felt . . . .

She was not sure what this feeling was, but she knew it was not pleasant. It was sharp, and settled in her belly, and chest. "You are in want of a wife?" She asked, still feeling as if someone had pulled a rug from her her feet and she was struggling to stand.

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

"You are in want of a wife?" The question was not so easily answered. Though simplistically, he could say No. He was not in want of a wife. He had not been in want of a wife the first time he got married either, but circumstances had brought them together and ease of company had been found. Had Evelina not been born, and his first wife passed . . . he was unsure he would ever remarry.

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But now, his priorities had shifted. It was more about finding someone for Evelina, than himself. For the . . . physical aspect of marriage, was not one he held any interest in. The qualities he was looking for was not qualities of a wife, but of a mother. He of course, needed to get along with the woman but above all else, it was about her nature towards children; maternal qualities that would make her a perfect mother. "I am in need of a mother for Evelina," he responded, corrected, so that Clara would understand that this not about his own personal desires or need for a wife. It was need for a mother.

[Clara Honeyfield]

In need of a mother. For his daughter. If his first words of a wife had not felt as if there was something digging into her body, these words drove it home. She could feel the tingle at the tip of her nose, and she slowly pulled in a deep breath to prevent the display of emotion that she knew was just below the surface.

She felt caught unaware, and in a way . . . in a way a little betrayed. Not that she could place any blame on him, for he had not given her any reason to feel this way, and yet . . . and yet she felt as if he had been the one to pull the rug that was not causing her this uncomfortable falling feeling. Sinking.

She had almost made them a family in her mind. Placed herself as Lina's mother. Now she was felt foolish, hurt, and sad. A sad she had not felt the deeps of before. "Might I---" Deep breath, "Might I ask what has brought on such a want?"

Reuben Slade

[Reuben Slade]

Tag: Clara Honeyfield
Note: Better gif coming soon!

what doesn't

KILL ME BETTER RUN

Slade watched her carefully, noticing a shift in her demeanour yet, unable to name what it was. Though he supposed it could be the threat of change. It was comfortable having her here, practically like family. For there were many, he counted as such. Found family. Family of heart and not tied by blood which, was in ways more significant for Slade. She asked what brought this on and he knew that perhaps some reassurance that it was not due to her being incapable by any means. Therefore, an honest answer was owed.

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"Evelina requires a mother," he answered. "It is a decision I have not come to lightly, but it is needed. I do not wish for her to grow up feeling the absence of a mother in her life." Clara stepped in as such a figure . . . but it was not the same. She had her own family, and would return to them at the end of the day. Evelina needed a constant around her; someone that she could freely call mother. "It is not a reflection of your capabilities," he assured her. "I should hope that you continue to remain in Evelina's life as well." For Evelina was incredibly attached to her, and the additional of a mother need not result in the dismission of Clara.