Moment of Weakness for Eloise

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ A Moment of Weakness ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ Tag authorflies

                        the rules of society.

[authorflies]

{ N22.my muse is in a frightened or nervous state }

    For all of Anthony and mother’s insisting on her being wed, they were right. These were words that she would never say, at least to Anthony and only to their mother if the circumstances were correct and the response she would get was not too much of a 'I told you so'. The fact of the matter, though, was unshakeable. She was terrified. All she had wanted her entire life, if she had to wed, was to find a love match. While she certainly felt something for her intended, this was not how she wanted to marry. God in heaven she was not even certain that she wanted to marry- or rather on if she would make a good wife. Since all of the siblings leading up to her as well as the one after had been married, she could understand the appeal of companionship, love, but marriage was a whole other ordeal. And Phillip... she knew she felt something for the man, but the truth was that she was still scared that it might not be love and would never turn into love. Both fear and doubt were enough to make her begin to pace back and forth. 

    The door opening was enough to snap her out of her thoughts, flinching only slightly but she quickly sobered, the softest of smiles on her face. It might not have hid her distress, but she still wore it, stepping closer to her favorite brother, gripping the fabric of her gown tightly, forcing her shoulders to relax before she spoke at last. 

    "I suppose you have come to be the one to fetch me, then?" Secretly she was hoping to have a few moments more, though she kept quiet instead, looking down to the ground after a moment, swallowing harshly, letting her true emotions show for just a moment- though she was certain that Benedict already knew. "...Neither of us could have ever guessed that this would be happening, would it? In fact I dare say none of our family- or the Ton for the matter could have guessed this would be happening." It was stalling, she knew it was, but she was desperate for things to stay the same for a moment- feeling suddenly like everything would be different the moment that she walked through the door. 

Tag : ~Benedict Bridgerton~ 
Note : Hopefully this is alright!! The randomizer gave me this and my mind went straight here and if you want something different, let me know! 

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

Today was a very special day for the Bridgerton family. For today . . . was Eloise's wedding day. Benedict truly had not known when this day would come and now that it had arrived . . . well, he wasn't sure he was ready to see his sister off to her new life. He would miss her terribly; her especially. To come to their family estate with Sophie now and not see Eloise among the crowd . . . it would be a lacking presence, very deeply felt. But alas, this was the inevitable fate of the Bridgertons. The main thing was that she was happy. That was what mattered above all else. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ With her company still missing, Benedict offered to go get her. All had assumed she was nervous, for it was a common thing -- especially for a woman -- to feel anxious on her wedding day. But Benedict, was the one who wished to speak to her. Perhaps one might think that a sister or mother would be better suited, but Benedict knew that he and Eloise were quite similar in that they desired something more from these expectations. So yes. He understood her, and how she was feeling -- to a certain extent of course. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ Making his way to her room, he pushed open the door to see her pacing, before she quickly came towards him, at which point he closed the door behind him. Yes. He could see it so clearly on her faces. In her body language. He knew his sister well enough to recognize the anxiousness. She went on to say that neither of them could have guessed that this was happening and, that much was also true . . . after the long journey -- and several rejections -- the day was finally here. Benedict knew that this very second, perhaps nothing he could say would help. So instead, he took Eloise's arms and led her to the other side of the room where there was a large window which was open and a small couch next to it. Benedict's hand on her arm pulled her down onto the couch as he sat next to her, turned so that he was facing her properly. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ Looking at the door to make sure no one was coming, he reached into his pocket for a smoke, and match to light it. Fortunately, he also had mints and they could easily ensure she was well perfumed before leaving this room. Not to mention the open window to get rid of any smoke or it lingering upon her dress. He lit the smoke, waving the match to put out the fire. "Do not stain your fingers," he told her, holding one end to her mouth so that she could put it between her lips to inhale. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ He had learned from witnessing her -- and joining her -- that this was something that could perhaps calm her down. And well, the frequency in which they were able to do it had already gone down drastically since Benedict got married. Now with Eloise getting married . . . he feared the chances of these stolen moments between them would decrease even more. "I kept some, in the event that you may require it this morning." Before she walked down the aisle to marry her intended. Tag authorflies

                        the rules of society.

[authorflies]

    Benedict Bridgerton knew her all too well, both to her despair and relief in this moment, Eloise still attempting to be more at ease and of sound mind than she truly felt. There was little to no convincing the second oldest Bridgerton, though, she was sure, though still she tried. Eloise herself did not even know how to begin to process what she was thinking, everything having happened so fast it still felt as though she was just arrive at the Crane house, like she still barely knew the man, not enough to marry him though they had been writing for months and months and further had traveled to his estate in the first place to see if they would suit. And she did, she felt like they did, but then why did this feeling still swim inside of her chest? Was she worried he did not feel the same and he was being forced into this marriage anyhow? Or was there perhaps some other anxiety that was buried so deeply in her chest that she did not know what was putting her so on edge?

    All Eloise could do was hope that he did not notice just how terrified she was, but the rate at which she breathed in the lit cigarette she might have given herself away more than she would have liked. In truth, she did not know how long it had been since she had touched one of the burning sticks, certainly not since she had been at Phillip Crane's if not longer, but it had started to do the job that she needed it to, reaching to take it with a little bit of a nod. " Rather clever of you. Seeing as that absolutely seems to be the case." She would take special care not to, though. The last thing she wanted to do was worry any guest who had come. 

    " Do you know how much longer I have? " Certainly not the way she should be asking said question, but it was the way that it came out, almost shaky and unsure, not matter how hard she tried to hide it. " Please tell me you were feeling nervous on the day of your wedding too? Or that you felt... something other than relief. " Benedict and Sophie's story was... the extreme opposite of hers in truth, but she related to her brother in so many ways. They understood each other, and she hoped that they could in this way too, or at least he could understand what she was feeling, perhaps better than she did. 

    Eyes falling to the window on the far wall, Eloise let out a bit of a shaky exhale as she breathed out the smoke again, trying her best to think clearly, beyond the tight feeling inside of her chest, beyond the fear of officially leaving everything behind, more so than she already had, in leaving home. ... Cue another inhale and exhale of the smoke. " You have to admit, it is ironic. I can practically hear a younger me laughing at myself in both shock and complete and utter concern for my mental state. " 

Tag ~ Benedict Bridgerton ~ 

[Benedict Bridgerton]

Tag: authorflies
Note: Better layout coming soon!

i' m    n o t    b o u n d    b y 

THE RULES OF SOCIETY

Benedict knew his sister well, just as she knew him. The two of them seemingly different, yet similar in so many ways. A similarity of wanting more from life than what society dictated for them. He wished he could truly ease his sister's mind, but also knew that in his knowing of her . . . that this was to be expected. And it was indeed a valid reaction to getting married. She asked how much longer and it would not serve either of them well if he gave her false reassurance to take as long as she needed. "You have a little while longer," he told her. Not too much, but enough so that he hoped to bring her mind to at least a little more ease than it currently was -- beyond the effect of a cigarette that is.

◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈

She asked him about his wedding, whether he was feeling nervous. Realizing, his emotions of the day were not something he frequently spoke about. But if there was anyone he could speak freely and open to, without any judgement or mockery, it was indeed Eloise. "I was nervous," he told, and perhaps even assured her as he gave a small smile. "Nervous that I could not make her as happy as she made me." The pressures of ensuring her happiness, that Sophie had all that she desired . . . that she felt loved. She had been through so much and all Benedict wanted to do was give her the life that she deserved. "I never thought I would be able to marry her," he added on, going deeper into his emotions of that night, and in general when it came to his love.

◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈

"That it would be an impossibility because society deemed it so. But one learns, that we can not help who we love, or develop affections for." And Sophie had indeed, been the first person he had ever loved. To this point, he look at Eloise, a soft expression on his features. "You rejected many proposals," he began to his, words lacking any accusation or judgement. "Yet accepted his." Phillip Crane's. "What made him different from the others?" Because he wanted her to remember those things; he wanted Eloise to focus on the reasons she was marrying him. What made her say yes to his proposal.

◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈

There had been something strong enough between the two for her to sneak to his estate without informing her brothers. So he wanted her to reflect upon it, to say it out loud . . . to remind herself. His smile became a little amused when Eloise spoke of the irony, referring to her younger self. "Your younger self did not hold the same experience that you do now." Where she had matured as she went on through her years and experienced more of society. "Trust in it. Your judgement is sound." He paused for a moment, a playful smirk forming on his face. "Most of the time," he added on, unable to resist the tease.