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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 23:36:34 GMT
 Another joke had Elizabeth laughing. "Well that is quite good to know," Elizabeth mused. "But I shall make note to seek assistance elsewhere when it comes to earrings." The idea of turning to Anthony for assistance with such things for her future made her stomach clench. Elizabeth found that she was looking forward to it and everything else their life might have to offer. Truthfully, she hadn't thought much about it prior to this. Their courting had fortunately been out of the eyes of the ton, which Elizabeth was thankful for, but she'd thought more about whether or not she could stand being around Anthony than what their lives would be like together.
The air changed between them and Elizabeth continued to hold onto the anticipation. The only sound in the room was the clasp on her necklace snapping into place as Anthony fastened the piece of jewelry. His finger pressed into her skin, not in a harsh way but in the most gentle of ways. Elizabeth felt a shiver run down her spine at his touch and then she felt his hand place itself on her shoulder. The breath she felt on the back of her neck moved to her ear and she felt him speak. The words sent a wave of goosebumps over her skin, everything on edge around her. To hear that Anthony found her beautiful was something she never knew she wanted to hear. Then his lips pressed against her neck and Elizabeth closed her eyes, tilting her head to the side in an attempt to give him better access, should he decide to do anything with it. "Anthony," she said again, her voice softer but it contained something else. Something like the urgency and desire that Elizabeth felt for him.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 21:59:09 GMT
 It had been weeks of Elizabeth feeling like something was off. Something was wrong and she couldn't figure it out. It was normal for Anthony to have the occasional business meeting or something that required his attention but lately it had been more and more frequent. At first, Elizabeth had told herself that she was being dramatic but she couldn't stop this inkling that Anthony was hiding something. If Anthony could hide things from her then maybe she'd been wrong in thinking that this marriage was going to work. Not that there was anything she could do about it, but Elizabeth decided that she needed to stop pouring her heart into it. Loving Anthony with difficult enough while knowing he did not love her, but to know that he was lying to her about these things made it worse.
The more she sat with her thoughts the more she thought that perhaps he had a mistress. It was not the first time Anthony had a lover and Elizabeth wondered if he'd gone back to the opera singer or if he'd found someone else. It was not as if they were not intimate with one another, quite the opposite in fact. Elizabeth just thought that maybe Anthony was not happy with her and that maybe she couldn't make him happy, no matter how hard she tried.
Giving up on the book in her hand, Elizabeth placed it down and leaned forward on the couch, pressing her face against the blanket that hung over the back. The sound of the front door opening made her open her eyes and she sighed. Perhaps Anthony would go straight to his study and she would be left alone. Elizabeth did not know who she could talk to about this as Benedict was her dearest friend but also Anthony's brother. She'd made herself a promise to never place Benedict between the two of them. Placing her hand on her stomach, another inkling she'd had, Elizabeth felt herself wait with bated breath to see if Anthony would indeed continue to ignore her and go to his study.
24. My muse finds out your muse was lying to them
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 20:08:49 GMT
 Sleep seemed to evade her on this evening. It was not as if she had many things on her mind, except for her ever growing feelings for her husband. Who would have ever thought that would be a problem? Her life had been kept the way she wished it for the most part which was all Elizabeth had ever really wanted. There were duties she was given as the new Viscountess which she took seriously because she knew they were important to Anthony and important to the family. Elizabeth could certainly be considered someone who did not take some things seriously and could be childish at times but with something like this, she was the perfect lady she had been raised to be. In fact, Elizabeth believed she excelled when it came to being a Viscountess and running a household, which were both things that quite surprised her. She handled it with grace and ease but her responsibilities were not things that kept her mind wandering tonight.
Not wanting to wake Anthony, Elizabeth glanced over at her husband in bed. She had tried her bess not to toss and turn but found that she needed to stretch her legs. Moving as quietly and gently as possible, Elizabeth removed herself from bed and grabbed her dressing robe off the chair. Her feet carried her towards the library where she would try to read until her mind settled down. Although, she was half-expected to not even be able to focus on the words in whichever novel she picked out. Still, she tried her best and grabbed a book, settling into one of the chairs and tucking her legs up close to her body.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 19:58:57 GMT
 His comment made her eyebrows raise and she laughed. "Rude!" She said through her laugh. Elizabeth knew he was teasing and it was what she adored the most about their relationship; the fact that they could mercilessly tease one another no matter what was going on. "Do not make me throw something at you," she chastised him, instead reaching out and giving him a small pinch on his legs as they rested over her lap. Whether he moved his legs because of the pinch or he simply wanted to sit up, Elizabeth wasn't entirely sure but she was certain it didn't matter. Hearing him call her Lizzie, something that so few people she loved did these days, could have broken her if her resolve had not been quite as high. Sighing, Elizabeth knew she wanted to tell Benedict but still struggled with it.
"The man I was previously engaged to, Arthur Fraser," Elizabeth began, "the truth is, I had heard a rumor that he was going to war or to visit the battlegrounds." Elizabeth felt as if the ugliest part of her was showing in that moment, to confess to such a thing. "I accepted his engagement and his courting because I knew these things and I thought there would be little chance that he might . . . return." In other words, Elizabeth had hoped the man would die so that she might maintain her freedom. She felt tears sting at her eyes and utter guilt and shame wash over her. "I am such an awful person. To hope such a thing so that I may maintain my life."
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 19:45:51 GMT
 Elizabeth had to purse her lips to keep from letting an uncomfortable grin appear on her face. She shut one of her eyes as she listened to Benedict talk, taking in his understanding that nothing urgent had required her to fetch him that very moment. "You are not incorrect," she said rather slowly, knowing how awful it must sound being said out loud. But surely it would not have caused quite the commotion had she simply walked in and he'd been drawing or reading a book. Yes, she had entered without knocking which was entirely rude of her but there was nothing she could do to take it back now. Elizabeth felt awful for it and the entire encounter would be quite difficult to forget, though she wished she could scrub it from her brain.
There was a bit of relief when his tone eased up slightly, but she could tell he was still on edge. She was unable to help the comment that fell from her lips. "Is that what that was? A personal affair?" She jested, quickly taking a step back from the door and laughing slightly. Not that she thought Benedict would hit her but they certainly swatted at one another in annoyance when it was just the two of them. Like squabbling siblings. Truthfully, Elizabeth had no idea what Benedict had actually been doing but there were bits and pieces she understood. Normally, she would have no qualms going to Benedict with a question such as this but considering she'd walked in on him doing it, she made the assumption that he was probably not the best person to talk to about such a thing. "Shall I go? I feel as if I should go," Elizabeth said, the grin on her face.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 19:29:03 GMT
 Martin was wholly unimpressed by Elizabeth's comment, finding it offensive that she should openly speak to his gambling problem. She supposed he should have been far more focused on the fact that he was not welcome there but he did not seem to get the picture. Anthony continued to berate the man and Elizabeth sat and watched. Surprise washed over Elizabeth as Anthony made a comment, inferring that things should prove to be quite dire if this information were to become known to Lady Whistledown. She certainly tried her best to stay away from the rumors and gossip of the ton, often deciding not to participate or trade secrets. But this was one instance where Elizabeth had no problem making sure this information got around so that Lady Whistledown might write about it in her paper. Her eyes watched as Martin seemed to pale at this threat from Anthony, knowing that even if he insisted they were not true that it would ruin his reputation. "You would not dare, Bridgerton," Martin tried, but even Elizabeth did not believe his threat. She did, however, believe that Anthony would follow through with what he promised.
Elizabeth continued to be enthralled with the authority in Anthony's voice and yet he did not raise it once. It was mildly attractive but Elizabeth dismissed those thoughts from her mind. It was neither the time nor the place. Seeing that there was nothing he could do, Martin grumbled something before grabbing his hat and disappearing from the room. Elizabeth stood from her seat and rushed over to the doors of the drawing room, poking her head out to see that he did indeed leave the home. With the front door closed behind him, Elizabeth turned to Anthony with a sigh of relief. "Well I must say, I am rather disappointed. I thought he'd put up a bigger fight." But in the end, she was just thrilled to be rid of him. "You are my new favorite Bridgerton," Elizabeth said, wagging a finger at Anthony and grinning. "I do not understand what all the fuss was about from your sister. I think you are wonderful to have around with other suitors," she teased slightly. Elizabeth walked further into the room and offered Anthony a genuine smile. "Thank you, again."
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 4:14:16 GMT
 Elizabeth was all too familiar with the discussion of men spending their time at the club. Her favorite did not frequent there quite as much as he used to, but he still made an appearance from time to time. Her older brothers, Alexander and Noah, spent time there but mostly Noah since Alexander had been married. Then of course, she knew at least one of the Bridgerton boys spent time there. Elizabeth did not know what they did or why they were so found of it, as she did not care to know, but thought it was an awfully big waste of one's time to go there. "You men are always there," she said with a sigh, and a playful roll of her eyes.
"You know you may speak freely with me," Elizabeth reminded him. "In fact, I prefer it." She did not see the point in stepping around the formalities of it all. They had already forgone formalities once, she did not see why they should not continue to do so. "We shall have to keep an eye on the time. I imagine my family will only remain at the event for another two hours, if that." It would not bode well for them to return home without Elizabeth there. She laughed and shook her head. "We both know my hubris is not the one in question here," Elizabeth teased.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 3:50:45 GMT
Elizabeth no longer held ill feelings towards William for how he had acted that night. In fact, even Elizabeth felt a little ashamed for the way she had acted. She should have just let him go, as she did many other gentlemen that were less than perfect. But instead she had chased after him like some woman scorned when that hadn't been the case. She hadn't cared that he did not want another dance with her, only bothered with how it had been handled. Perhaps she had read more into the situation than she should have, but it did not matter now. "It's quite alright," Elizabeth assured him. "I'm sure I was less than agreeable myself."
He began to speak and Elizabeth pieced his words together in her mind, curious as to what he was going to say. He did not finish, instead interrupted by the sound of their carriage stopping. Elizabeth felt her entire body freeze at the realization of what he'd been about to say. Surely he had not meant to say that he thought he was looking at the woman he was meant to spend his life with? Pulled from her thoughts, she watched as he dismounted the carriage and she stood, stepping out and placing her gloved hand in his for assistance in leaving the carriage.
The cool night air bit at her skin, but not too harshly that she was cold. It was refreshing and Elizabeth turned to William. "I've never been here after dark," she mused. "Do you take all of your companions here?" She asked, unsure as to what to call them exactly.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 3:31:37 GMT
 She chuckled and shook her head when he said he would marry her in a heartbeat. "My, you've come a long way since nearly refusing a second dance with me just a few weeks ago," Elizabeth teased. It was water under the bridge between the two of them but it was still fun to tease him about it. Although, she was certain she would have said the same. She would have never even entertained the idea of marrying someone like William Slade but right now, she wasn't so sure. She found she enjoyed his company and that he was quite handsome, but she tried to chalk it all up to just feeling sentiment towards him for his assistance earlier that evening.
William listed off several names and without the last name, Elizabeth was unable to place several of them. She hadn't made a note of people at the event that night, otherwise she might be able to provide him with some gossip she'd heard from others if he was so inclined. "And were any of them the one you wish to spend the rest of your life with?" She asked with a grin on her face.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 28, 2021 2:28:29 GMT
Elizabeth followed him through the party until they reached outside, waiting for his carriage to arrive. Once it did they entered and Elizabeth sat across from William. She raised her eyebrows slightly at his request to bring them to Hyde Park. It would be dark and they would not be able to see anything, although she supposed no one would be able to see them either. What they were doing was certainly dangerous and could ruin their reputations or at the very least, Elizabeth's, if people were to find out about it. "If people see us in Hyde Park you realize it's. not going to end well? You could be stuck marrying me to protect our reputations," Elizabeth half-teased.
Clearing her throat slightly, Elizabeth looked down at her hands. "Thank you again, for earlier. Martin is an awful man and I've never liked him but I was quite concerned with what he might do tonight," she said. But now that she was able to thank him again, Elizabeth decided to change the topic of conversation. "So tell me, how many eligible ladies did you dance with tonight? Any that struck the fancy of our esteemed Duke?" She teased with a grin.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 27, 2021 23:32:53 GMT
 Elizabeth glanced down at the note in her hand. There were several things that left her quite distressed. One, was that no one had bothered to write her sooner about her father's condition. And two, was the fact that no one had bothered to even visit her to tell her the news in person. The fact that they had waited until they deemed that her father was on the mend and would get better was distressing as well. It made Elizabeth's distaste for Helen even stronger and she was quite cross with the woman.
She rubbed at her forehead, begging the stress to leave her body but found it was no use. Usually spending time with Benedict would put Elizabeth in a better mood. The two had been the best of friends for as long as she could remember and so when they had gotten married to prevent Elizabeth from entering into a marriage she did not want, she thought it might work. And for the most part, it did. There were certainly some things that were different than a usual married couple but they got along well enough and their life was quite wonderful. It was no surprise that Elizabeth found that she loved Benedict a bit deeper than she had before, but their arrangement had been to benefit her and to remain friends. It was not something she felt inclined to share with him.
The sound of someone entering the room caused Elizabeth to look up, seeing Benedict. Without a word, Elizabeth rushed across the room and threw her arms around him in an embrace. Still upset over the letter from Helen, Elizabeth knew that Benedict would make her feel better. She held onto him tightly, not wanting to let go but knew that he would be curious as to what was going on and why she was so upset. "Oh, Ben," Elizabeth said, still not letting go. "My father was sick and no one told me! Not one of them!" She pulled away slightly but kept her grip on him, a frown on her face. "He's fine now, I just got the letter."
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 27, 2021 22:57:42 GMT
 It was late and nearly time for Elizabeth to go to bed. Her nose was buried in a book and she was about to finish her last chapter before she retired for the evening. Benedict was not hope but it was not out of the ordinary for him to spend the evenings with Henry and return the following day. It did not bother Elizabeth one bit, as she knew this had been the life she signed up for. So long as Benedict remained happy, that was all she cared about. That, and as long as she knew Benedict was safe she did not have to worry.
A sound from downstairs caught her attention and Elizabeth frowned. It certainly sounded like the front door had been opened. Putting her book down, Elizabeth made her way down the hallway and towards the stairs where she spotted Benedict. The frown on her face deepened, unsure as to what he was doing home. Normally at this hour he would be with Henry and just spend the night. "Benedict?" She called out, going down the stairs and to his side. "Is everything alright?" She asked, worry evident on her face. Surely Henry would not have allowed Benedict to travel home so late at night and in such a state. The two loved one another too much to allow for such a dangerous journey to occur. The smell coming from Benedict told Elizabeth that he'd had quite a bit to drink, only furthering her confusion. What the bloody hell was going on?
3. Your muse is smashed drunk and incoherent
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 27, 2021 22:32:19 GMT
 She was thrilled when Evie ran into her arms. Elizabeth closed the little girl into her embrace and gave her a hug. "Of course," she assured her. "And I'm quite certain I missed you more!" Elizabeth's attention turned towards the goat that appeared to be the four legged friend Reuben had been referring to only moments ago. To hear his name brought a smile to Elizabeth's face. She wondered if Evie had given him the name or how old she was when Sir Gilly had been brought into her life. It certainly wasn't an expected animal for a child to have as a companion but Elizabeth saw no harm in it. If it made Evie happy, which he surely did, then what was the harm?
Elizabeth watched as Sir Gilly approached Dawn, her ladies maid quite apprehensive about the animal. Truthfully, it only made Elizabeth chuckle and she reached out for the goat to approach her. "It is lovely to meet you, Sir Gilly," Elizabeth cooed, reaching out and petting the animal and giving him a scratch under his chin. Elizabeth laughed at Evie wanting her father to see that Sir Gilly was fond of Lizzie and Dawn, noticing even the smallest of smiles on his face for his daughter. A rare sight but Elizabeth found it quite lovely.
Standing up from kneeling on the ground, Elizabeth reached into her pocket. "Oh, I do have something for you," she said to Evie. "Perhaps keep it where Sir Gilly can not make it his afternoon snack though, yes?" She suggested. Elizabeth was not knowledgeable on goats and how they worked but she did know they tended to get into everything. Elizabeth handed the drawing to Evie, the one that Ben had done with the Monarch Butterfly and Elizabeth's handwriting on it.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 27, 2021 22:14:12 GMT
Elizabeth let out a sigh. Of course Benedict would focus on the definition of the word decent instead of realizing that she was trying to have a deep conversation with him. He was, after all, a man. Focusing on the less important things were not unlike him but Elizabeth kept quiet and let him continue nevertheless. He had some good points, however far from home they might have been. Elizabeth did not consider her own definition of the word to have anything to do with society or the ton, but rather what she considered to be decent as a person. Her and Benedict often discussed the constraints of society. Elizabeth thought it was silly that her life should rely so heavily on getting married and that she had no autonomy outside of a marriage. So surely, he knew that she did not believe obeying the ton and society when it came to those things was what she was referring to.
"I mean to say," Elizabeth began, "or to ask, if you have ever done something that makes you feel bad about yourself? Outside of the ton or society's expectations. Just something within your own soul that you know just isn't good." She bit the inside of her cheek and kept her gaze on her fingers. After a moment of thought, Elizabeth dropped her book on the floor before crossing the room and sitting down on the chaise that Benedict occupied. She moved his legs so she could sit, but instead of pushing them off the chaise she brought them onto her own lap. "Do you remember how we said we would always tell one another everything?" She asked, the smallest look of desperation on her face. Elizabeth looked down and played with an invisible piece of lint on Benedict's pants. "There is something I never told you. I just, never wished to burden you with it." But now Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to share it with Benedict. But was that even fair? Why should she burden him with her own sin and her own guilty conscious? If she loved Benedict, as she did, then surely she would not put something like this on her dearest friend.
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Post by Elizabeth Davenport on Nov 27, 2021 21:50:05 GMT
Elizabeth could practically feel his frustration through the door when she knocked. Clearly, he had not found it quite as amusing as she had. Elizabeth had not been trying to be funny but she was in such an awkward situation that she could only make herself laugh or do things that would make the predicament even worse. If she hadn't walked in on Benedict doing something quite personal, she would have made a remark in return about how he was quite sensitive and clearly annoyed with her. But instead, she kept her mouth shut for the time being. If he needed to snap at her to feel better then she supposed she deserved it.
It wasn't her fault one of the house staff had not told Benedict she was there. They had told her they were going to and so she had been left waiting and waiting for her dear friend. Clearly he had been otherwise preoccupied and perhaps at a later time, she would come to question more and more what exactly it was he had been doing. Elizabeth and Benedict were close but she did not think they were that close where she could openly ask him about it. Finally, the door opened and Elizabeth jumped slightly at the noise. He stood there, glaring at her and she had to purse her lips to keep from falling into another fit of uncomfortable laughter. "Shall I make something up? Will that perhaps make you feel better?" She tried, her nose scrunching up slightly as she felt incredibly unsure about what to say. "I was waiting for such a long time and was growing terribly impatient. I didn't think you'd be . . . otherwise occupied."
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