I Spy A Bridgerton

[Sophia Beckett]

Sophie was not sure what to make of this world away from the world that was the life of the Bridgertons. They were so unlike anything she had known in her life, that it almost broke her heart--yet instead she was drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Wanting to feel the love they had for each other, if only in passing. A family such as this was a dream to work for. It made her wish for a family, or even this family.

She had spent years unwanted, unloved, and later even hiding from the people who could have been her family. After so long of yearning for someone to love her, seeing people love so effortlessly and naturally was beautiful. And she was little envious of it.

Sophie lifted her basket from the floor, giving one last look out the window as the younger two Bridgertons cashed through garden in a play fight, before turning away. In doing so she found a man standing there and it almost made her drop the mending. It was him. Benedict. "Mr. Bridgerton," she said with a amused dry tone.

_{Tagged: Benedict Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

It had been just a little while since Sophie had started working as a maid at his family's estate. A position that he had offered to her for many reasons . . . and a big part of it was precisely why it was impossible for him to tear his gaze from her. Whenever she was near, he had to fight to not watch her, as to not draw attention to his . . . well, attentions upon her. The last thing his family needed to be made aware of was that he had developed feelings for her. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ While he was not ashamed of having them, or  feeling this way about her, he knew that his family would not share the same understanding. Nor did he wish to expose such things right now. But, it was not easy. He had been spoiled, having those days with her at his estate where it was just the two of them. A place where they had shared a kiss. And now, they were surrounded. By other servants, by his family . . . the idea of being alone seeming to be an impossibility. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ And something that had turned almost into a small game. He was fairly certain that she was avoiding him. Avoiding being alone with him, avoiding eye contact at times . . . it made the pursuit all the more fun. But at the end of the day, Benedict just longed to be with her. In ways that surpassed the mere physical. Casually walking by, he paused when he noticed Sophie's back, her gaze fixed outside the window seeming to focus on something. Benedict took advantage of the situation, starting to approach her though she did not seem to notice. Not until she turned around that is. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ How he hated the formality . . . hated hearing her call him Mister Bridgerton. That was all he was; Bridgerton. He liked it when she said his name. It made him feel as if he did indeed have his own identity. One that she was learning of quite . . . intimately. Or at least had in prior days. "Miss Beckett," he greeted in return. If she was going to use formality, well . . . then so was he. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ For he did not wish to maintain this line of class between them. Even if it was the very thing that seemed to keep them apart. "How are you today?" He asked, though continued before she had a chance to answer. "I would have asked sooner--" As it was already later in the afternoon. "But I get the distinct feeling that you are avoiding me." His words playful and teasing. Tag Sophia Beckett

                        the rules of society.

[Sophia Beckett]

She was. Avoiding him that was. She had too. They could not be together like he wished, and letting herself spend that time with him would weaken herself against the need to stay strong. Giving in to him would make her his mistress, and she could not be anything more than that--and she could not be that.

"I am well, and yourself?" Causal words, that masked what she really wanted to ask him. She glanced behind him to see if the door was opened to closed. He wanted to know if she was avoiding him, and Sophie almost did not answer. The longing to ignore it was strong, but if she did, the he would not know why. "You it is best that I do." Her eyes moved over his face. "For us both."

_{Tagged: Benedict Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

Benedict kept his eyes on her, the continued formality in her voice. "I'm quite well too, thank you," he responded in kind. Surface level conversations was not how he wished for things to be between them. He wanted that comfort. That depth. That . . . connection, that was already there, but wished for it to be further solidified. He just, wanted her. A feeling which surpassed the physical desire and craved the emotional one as well. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ Taking a step closer to her, she told him that it was best that she did avoid him, for them both. And he, disagreed. He knew of course why she felt so but did she not know how it was pure torture to have her close, and yet . . . so far? "And why is that?" He asked, almost a tease in his voice for he knew the answer, but wanted to hear her say it. Taking another step closer to her he continued. "Does it make it any less difficult when we do not see each other?" He inquired. Because, he knew she was still there. Her presence still lingered so he did not even know which was worse: not seeing her or seeing her and not being able to touch her. Either one, was indeed torture. Tag Sophia Beckett

                        the rules of society.

[Sophia Beckett]

The causal coversation grew to a swift end as he asked her why. "You know why, Benedict." She reminded him, his name slipping from her lips unplanned, as his words made her wish for what could not be. He asked if it would be any worse then what they were doing now, and she wanted to answer YES, when in truth it was also NO!


It would be better, for a moment, but it would be worse as well. For having only half of him, and hiding it from the world--or even not hiding it from the world--would only make it worse as well. It would add something twisted to this, and eventually it would end in heart break. "It is not a simple question." And he knew it. She had made it known she would not be his mistress, and there was no other way for them to be together.

_{Tagged: Benedict Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

Hearing her say his name both caused his heart to ache and felt beautiful at the same time. He had acknowledged how he loathed the formality of Mister Bridgerton. Hearing her speak to him using his Christian name, and where it had come out so naturally and effortlessly . . . he felt like he was someone. He felt like he was someone, to her. He moved closer to her still, noticing that she did not step away from him nor recoil from his advances. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ He would never force her to do anything of course, but he also could not resist the temptation to be close to her . . . seeing, knowing that she too was finding it difficult to resist. Hence, the avoidance between them. Or at least on her part. "It does not have to be so complicated," he said in a low, quiet voice. Heard, due to their close proximity. "What causes you so much pause? Is this not something you desire?" His voice lower, unable to fight the urge to raise his hand and gently tuck a loose strand of her behind her cheek. Tag Sophia Beckett

                        the rules of society.

[Sophia Beckett]

He thought it simple, when she thought it was impossible. How different they were when it came to this. She knew what he meant, and it was that they could just be--just be together. And yet, she knew it would never be so simple. They would never be allowed to just be themselves. He was a noble, she was a maid. She was wanted by her family, and even he did not have the power to erase that.

Even if she was not, one day he would marry, and she would not be his bride. This could only end up in heart break, and she knew that giving up her position here would cost her more than just a job. It was safe here. She was treated well here. She wanted to be here, and she couldn't do that if she gave in to his advantages. His fingers lifted to touch her hair, and she blinked realizing that he was close to her. She had been so engrossed in just being near him that she had not realized she was near him. "Please," she whispered, not sure if she was begging him to stop or just begging him to move closer.

_{Tagged: Benedict Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

He was standing so close to her. His hand having carefully tucked her hair back, gently brushing against her soft skin in a delicate caress. As if he was afraid to touch her. As if he was afraid that if he did . . . his emotions would just get the better of him. That he would kiss her, and then think of nothing else, no one else. It was not as if he had not done so before. It was not as if he had not dreamed it. Longing, desperate longing for it to become reality and a gesture of ease without the need for conversation towards it or the doubt and uncertainty that was seeded in both their minds. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ And being this close to her . . . was both dangerous and exhilarating. He leaned in a bit closer to her, lowering his head so that theirs would align a bit more . . . but pausing before any contact of skin was made. "Do you want me to stop?" He practically breathed, his heavily lidded eyes gazing at her . . . having heard her plea and whether it was consent to advance or rejection to continue . . . he would abide by it. He had to, though he of course hoped it was the former, as oppose to the latter. Part of him knew this was not fair to either of them, yet the other part . . . could not deny what his heart so desperately longed for. Tag Sophia Beckett

                        the rules of society.

[Sophia Beckett]

Benedict leaned in and hovered just above her lips, his hand felt warm, and even though he no longer touched her hair she could still feel him there. Still fell him everywhere. She wanted him to kiss her, and she wanted him to make this easier for them both and stop. She knew she wanted more then the other, but she could not help but to wish things were different as he hoovered above her for the kiss.

It was torment, and bliss. She felt do alive and drawn to him, even when she knew how she had to answer his question. "It does not matter what I want. We cannot be." her voice a whisper over his skin as he was close enough. If she leaned--if she swayed just slightly she would find herself in his strong arms, and she wanted it. Remembering how it felt was painful. Wanting him was painful. Walking away from him was painful. "Benedict," right now, she needed him to be strong---or she needed him to kiss her. Either way, she just needed him.

_{Tagged: Benedict Bridgerton}

[Benedict Bridgerton]

I'm not bound by                                  

Her words were so telling and yet, he knew them all along. Yet hearing them aloud . . . hearing her tell him that it did not matter what she wanted, meant that they wanted the same thing. Benedict could not think about society nor the expectations thrust upon them. His mind had always blurred the lines between ranks. He just . . . had never expected to have such strong feelings for one that he could not freely be with. It was agonizing to say the least. And it was the first time he'd felt anything for anyone, since the Lady in Silver. But right now, he was not thinking of her nor anyone else. He was entirely focused on her; consumed. ◈   ◈   ◈  ◈  ◈ Engrossed in the moment. The way he could feel her warm breath against him, her intoxicating scent . . . the way she said his first name that made his heart beat heavier in his chest. He was not strong enough. He was weak. Too weak. And the need for her took him over. He leaned forward, pausing just when their lips brushed upon one another, as if allowing her that last second to pull away. To push him away. And after a moment, he fully closed the distance, allowing their lips to meet. A gentle kiss that started softly, before the realization of just how long it had been, and just how much he wanted it took over. He breathed into the embrace, slightly parting his lips to carefully deepen it without being too intrusive. Though his eyes were closed, his hands reached for the basket that she held, gently taking it from her hands and letting it fall to the side on the ground, before wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to him. Tag Sophia Beckett

                        the rules of society.

[Sophia Beckett]

She needed him.
And then he kissed her.

A soft sound escaped her lips as he kissed her. Her now freed hands falling to the sides of his chest to hold him as he did. It was perfect! The taste of him, the way it eased a ache in her chest, and built another one below her belly. The way his was soft, and demanding. She wished the moment to never end, and this kiss could be the rest of her life. That the way his warmth eased the loneliness that she felt would become part of her. The feeling of his breath entwined with her's would be there.

And then she pulled away.

And it hurt, because none of that was forever. Because the door was opened. Because she could not be his mistress. Breaking the kiss, she lowed her face to hid in his shoulder for a moment, hating what she had to do, before forcing her foot to take a painful step back. Her fingers were the last to let go, as she had to again force them from him. Exhaling a shaken breath, that could be mistaken for a sob had it continued. Her hands moving to rest on her belly.

_{Tagged: Benedict Bridgerton}