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Apr 19, 2023 21:21:49 GMT
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Nov 3, 2022 0:48:06 GMT
Today's total: 1047 Total so far: 2329 |
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Nov 2, 2022 23:58:12 GMT
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| The day Edmund had died, she had stopped breathing and now she could not seem to catch her breath. Sometimes she thought that her heart might cease beating altogether, shattered as it was. She sometimes wished that were the case, so that she might be spared the torment of a life without him.
It was selfish, wishing that she might die to spare herself from further agony. When she still had their children, when those children needed her. They were each grieving for their father, suffering through their own pain and she was not there to support them.
She could not bear it. To see her pain mirrored on the faces of her children, to see how much they were suffering too. She was failing them by refusing to spend that time with them, to support them through their pain until it became manageable, but she was not sure that day would ever come.
Anthony's voice soothed Hyacinth as he took the baby from her cradle. Violet could not hold back her relief as the crying eventually stopped, shoulders sagging as some of the tension dissipated. She turned her head to look at her son, but the look upon his face had her averting her gaze.
"I know what you must think of me" the way he spoke to her as if she was not aware of the position that she held. The responsibility she had to care for and love the baby that she had brought into the world. "What kind of mother does not wish to hold her baby?" her fingers dug into the mattress, shaking her head at his question.
"Believe me, I have tried... But every time I look at her, all I see is Edmund and I cannot bear it Anthony, I cannot" the tears proved too stubborn to resist and she could not keep them from falling. "Your father was supposed to be here, I cannot do this without him" she did not have the strength to look upon that baby, knowing that she would never feel the love of her father and would only ever know him from stories.
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Nov 2, 2022 22:37:33 GMT
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| Dinner had not gone at all how she'd anticipated. The majority of those in attendance had been perfectly well behaved, even the children had remembered the manners. Unfortunately, her attention had been drawn not by the antics of one of her youngest, but to her second born. Benedict had been acting most peculiar indeed, unlike himself and she was determined to find out what had gotten into him.
Once dinner had drawn to a close, she had excused herself discreetly to follow her son as he retreated to his room. By the time she stood in the doorway, he was standing in a state of undress- if you could even call it that when he'd just removed his waistcoat and hadn't even gone to the trouble of removing both his boots.
His enthusiastic greeting gave her reason to pause before stepping into the room. It was a little unwarranted considering he had only just bid her goodnight. It did little to ease her mind.
"You caused quite the scene tonight" she commented, recalling how he had spilled the wine, how he had reacted by covering his face in an almost child-like manner. Violet was almost certain that no one would remember Benedict's demeanour, not after Anthony's speech and failure to ask the question everyone had been anticipating.
Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, but one she would no doubt get to the bottom of later. For now, her priority was Benedict.
"What has happened to you?" she approached her son, looking at his face and smiling in spite of herself. She loved to see her children happy, their smiles were something to delight in. But something about Benedict's smile, his attitude, it was wrong.
She was used to his teasing and good humour, but this went beyond that. |
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Nov 2, 2022 1:13:26 GMT
Ignoring that it's gone 1am into Day 2
Today's Total: 1282 Total so far: 1282 |
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Nov 1, 2022 21:25:32 GMT
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if any | Violet hated to think that any of her children might be suffering. She had always done her best to provide them with a loving home, a listening ear, but with so many children to keep an eye on, there was always the risk that one might slip through the net.
She feared that was what had happened with Eloise. Her daughter had always been so outspoken, it was sometimes a cause for great frustration for Violet, after having gone to the effort to make Eloise's debut as perfect as Daphne's had been the previous year.
How had she not seen how desperately unhappy Eloise was? She had passed it off as teenage rebellion, a way for her daughter to push back against what was expected of her. The heated words said upon the stairs earlier that night proved that she had been mistaken.
Eloise's words stung, though it was the tone itself that was cutting, not the words used. Walking to sit upon the bed where the brunette was lying, still dabbing at her tears.
"I have only ever wanted the best for you" she began, trying to catch her eye despite the animosity her daughter might feel for her in that moment. "But I fear, I never really stopped to consider what you might want" it was difficult for women to deviate from the path expected of them in society. It was expected of them to marry and marry well or else face the potential hardship of life on the outside.
The hope was that they would marry for love and experience the joys of sharing a life with someone they truly adored. Daphne had found that with Simon, but Violet should've foreseen it would never be that straight forward with her second daughter.
"Please, do not think that you could ever disappoint me" she said, words softly spoken as if afraid of puncturing the relative silence that encapsulated the room. "I have always been proud to call you my daughter, and I'm sorry if you've ever had reason to question that"
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Nov 1, 2022 19:37:37 GMT
Leaving this until the last minute but I'm setting my own goal as a tame 20,000 words!
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Nov 1, 2022 0:05:05 GMT
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this is the bad place | The crying would not stop. And still Violet could not bring herself to go to her daughter. She had tried to treat little Hyacinth with as much love as she had each of her other children, but this time it was different. This time she was forced to face the reality of raising a child without Edmund.
Looking upon the face of their daughter, when she looked so much like the father, she would never have the chance to know. It was almost too much to bear, and yet she forced herself to do it. When the crying had started, she had gone to her, fed her and whispered quiet pleas for her to settle, and still she cried.
It was only once the crying became too much for her to bear that she had placed Hyacinth back in her cradle and turned away. Now she sat on the bed, her eyes closed as if that might block out the sound of those demanding cries.
Edmund would know how to soothe her, but Edmund was gone. She had tried so hard to wrap her head around the fact that she would never again know the joy of seeing him walk through the door. Yet every morning she woke still expecting to see him lying in bed beside her.
It was cruel, and there was no way to alleviate the suffering that she now endured.
There was a knock at the door. Her head barely turning to acknowledge it as Anthony stepped into the room. She resumed her previous position, eyes fixed on that same spot on the wall. His words sounded distant, as if she was hearing them from beneath the waves of her unrelenting grief.
"She has fed" she offered confirmation, afraid that he would not leave her be if she refused to answer. "It is not that she is hungry, it is that she does not want me" that could be the only explanation as to why Hyacinth continued to torment her with that incessant crying.
Perhaps he would take her. Though it was too much to hope that might grant her any peace. |
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Oct 30, 2022 23:13:06 GMT
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thank god she wasn't a harold | They had been through this seven times before, and each time proved more difficult than the last. The naming of a child was perhaps the most important decision a parent could make, prior to their arrival into the world. A name was something that you carried with you for the entirety of your life, it left a lasting impression on people and could in some ways shape your experiences in life.
The weight of such a decision was not lost on Violet. The issue was trying to think of an appropriate name that both she and Edmund could agree on. H was not the most agreeable letter to work with, but they would think of something. Gregory didn't have a name for some hours after his birth, and he had not suffered for it.
"What do you think of Harriet, for a girl?" she asked, looking to where her husband lay reading in bed beside her. One hand idly stroked her belly, the baby within thankfully quiet tonight "Though with their spirit, no doubt it'll be another boy. Harold Bridgerton sounds too serious, don't you think?" whatever this baby turned out to be, serious was not the word to describe them.
Almost every night Violet had to endure a brilliant display of acrobatics from the infant. Causing her to toss and turn throughout the night in a bid to find peace. This child would have their father's exuberant spirit, that much was clear already. |
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Oct 29, 2022 23:00:15 GMT
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ahhhh! | The party was winding down, many taking their leave before the hour got too late. The ball had been far from the success that she had hoped it would be. Eloise had been dodging her attempts to find her a suitable match since she made her debut. It wasn't altogether unexpected, but Violet had assumed her daughter might be willing to at least give things a chance, after all she might find she enjoyed it once she got going.
Perhaps she should not have pushed her daughter to dance with Lord Morrison. But she had assumed they might have a fair bit to talk about. They both shared a rebellious spirit; she had thought they may have other similarities, that Eloise might even like the man if she gave him the chance to speak.
She had gotten that wrong too, she supposed. Eloise had refused to stay on the dance floor long enough to finish the dance. Eloise was just so different from Daphne, whose first social season seemed so easy looking back on things.
Violet had considered chasing after her daughter once she'd fled to her room but had opted to give her time to cool off. Calm down away from the stressful atmosphere that had evoked such a passionate reaction from the girl.
It was now time for her to put things right. Heading upstairs, she came to Eloise's door and gave a gentle knock. After several moments without a reply, she entered.
"Dearest" she lingered by the door, closing it behind her but not moving further into the room. "I would like very much for us to talk; may I sit with you a while?" there was so much that she needed to say, if Eloise would only listen. |
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Oct 29, 2022 16:46:30 GMT
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if any | Though the hour was late, Violet had yet to sleep. She always struggled knowing that one of her children was out after dark. Even when her boys had grown and become men, she would stay awake, listening for their return.
Once she knew they were home safe, she would sleep soundly. It was so much easier when they were little, to keep them close and safe. Independence came with age, the desire to go forth into the world and explore. She thought that she'd made her peace with it, and mostly that was true... Until nights like tonight.
The sound of the front door opening had her breathing a sigh of relief. Turning over, she allowed herself to close her eyes, the sound of Edmund's steady breaths soothing in the quiet. She might've reached for him, had she not been so afraid of waking him. Only one of them needed to endure such restlessness.
Sleep might've found her easily, but within moments of her eyes closing, a voice bellowed from somewhere downstairs. Violet's eyes flew open, reaching for her husband as she was already in the process of moving from the bed. "Edmund, something has happened" she was unsure if he had heard her, if her voice had been enough to wake him but she did not dare waste another moment trying to rouse him.
It was the fear in Eloise's voice that convinced her that something was desperately wrong. Though she willed it not to be so, hoping against hope that it was just another dramatic display from her daughter. But the hour was too late, she should not even be awake at such a time.
Arriving at the top of the stairs, she began her descent, and it was then that she spotted her children by the door. "Eloise, wha-?" confusion played across her features as she looked upon the scene in front of her. Benedict was slumped against the wall, with Eloise crouching beside him, but Violet's gaze was drawn to the blood that soaked her son's shirt.
It was like she could not breathe. Her legs seeming to move on their own accord as she ran down the remaining stairs to join Eloise at his side. "What happened?" her voice wavered, sinking to her knees to join them both on the floor.
Shaking hands reached for the blood that seeped through his shirt. It pooled between her fingers, staining her skin a dirty shade of red and she could not move, or speak, or even think. His skin was paler than she'd ever seen it, his hair damp upon his forehead from a thin layer of sweat that had settled upon his brow.
"Benedict?" one hand stayed where it was, not to apply pressure but desperately willing the blood to remain in his body where it belonged. The other moved as if to touch his face, stopping only when she saw the state of her hands. Covered in his blood.
A strangled sound left her throat, her hand falling instead to take his hand. "My darling boy... You cannot do this, please do not do this to us" tears threatened to obscure her vision, gaze drifting to look at Eloise, where she saw her own fear reflected in the eyes of her daughter.
"We must send for a doctor" she told her, forcing some strength into her voice, hoping to convince them both that it was not too little too late. If they could just get Benedict to a doctor, then he would be alright.
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Post by Violet Bridgerton on Oct 28, 2022 22:46:52 GMT
 | ~ • ~ | Character Basics | ~ • ~ |
.:Name:. Violet Bridgerton
.:Nick Name:. Honeybee (by Edmund)
.:Rank:. Nobility
.:Age:. 47 (S1)
| ~ • ~ | Appearance | ~ • ~ |
.:Physical Appearance:. Violet is a woman of tall and lean stature. She has a fair complexion, and round blue eyes. She enjoys dressing in various fashions but is not concerned with overly extravagant attire. Her favoured colours of dress are often light, pastel colours that are reflective of her soft, and kind overall demeanour.
.:Height:. 5'6
.:Portrayed by:. Ruth Gemmell
| ~ • ~ | Personality | ~ • ~ |
.:Personality:. Devoted to her family, Violet is a loving mother which is a role she takes most seriously. She wants nothing but the best for her children and tries to steer them in the right direction, even if she is met with resistance. A hopeless romantic, she married the love of her life while she was young and wants each of her children to experience that same feeling in their own marriages.
.:Skills:. Compassionate, strong-willed, optimistic, maternal
.:Weaknesses:. Hopeless romantic, interfering, fear of losing her children, the passage of time.
| ~ • ~ | History | ~ • ~ |
.:Birthplace:. Upper Smedley, Surrey
.:Family:.
Husband
Edmund Bridgerton
Children
Anthony Bridgerton
Benedict Bridgerton
Colin Bridgerton
Daphne Bridgerton
Eloise Bridgerton
Francesca Bridgerton
Gregory Bridgerton
Hyacinth Bridgerton
.:Occupation:. Dowager Viscountess
.:History:. Life for Violet didn't really begin until she met Edmund. Up until that point, her every moment seemed to be in black and white, and he brought colour to her world. He was charming from their very first encounter and she was enamoured by him. Love at first sight is such a cliche, something that can only be found in fairy tales, but Violet claims that she found it with Edmund.
They started their family soon after they were wed, and Violet felt her whole heart break wide open the moment she held her son in her arms. She did not realize it was possible to love someone as much as she did Anthony. She'd had a taste of what real, true love felt like, but nothing compared to the love she felt for her child. She didn't know it at that moment, but she would go on to do it seven more times, each time feeling like a part of her heart had been torn free from her chest and placed out in the world.
Violet was hands-on with raising her children, preferring to be involved in their upbringing instead of passing them off to servants. She nurtured her children and enjoyed the role of being their mother. She wanted to be present to dry their tears and listen to those funny stories that children told so well; she never had any intention of allowing someone else to raise her babies while she only saw them at fleeting moments in the day. Some of her favourite times were at mealtimes, when she and Edmund would sit and share a meal with their large family, there was never any separation.
Each of her pregnancies had been met with excitement and anticipation, for the new life that she and her husband were bringing into the world together. That excitement did not fade, not even when they learned that they would be welcoming an eighth child into their family. Sometimes they would lie awake at night, long after the children had gone to bed, giggling like lovesick teenagers as they discussed what they would name this new baby.
Towards the end of her pregnancy, her entire world came crashing down around her when Anthony's voice called from outside. The fear in her eldest's voice was enough for her to go to him, running to where he was struggling with his father on the lawn. Edmund's face was red from the effort to find breath by the time she reached them, and when asked of what had caused his ailment, the only explanation Anthony could offer was that a bee had stung his father moments prior. But something as small as a bee surely could not do this, Edmund was a man in his prime, and healthy. It seemed absurd to watch him felled by a creature so small.
She had dropped to her knees, pulling her husband into her lap as she pleaded for him to breathe. She had never seen him so scared in that moment, and her own panic bubbled over as she realized that his movements were growing weaker. She begged him not to leave, he could not leave her, he could not leave them. He fell still in her arms, his heart that once beat only for her and the family they'd grown together, would beat no more.
The days following Edmund's death were almost too much to bear, she was inconsolable and took herself away from her children. So consumed by grief that she could not bear to be around them, or anyone else. The only time she could find peace was when she slept, which she did much of in those early days, the ache of loss draining much of her energy.
When the baby came, the labour was long and more of a challenge than any of the others. There was talk that one of them might not make it, the thought was sickening to her. Not long ago she had lost her husband, and now she might be forced to endure the loss of her child, the child they had been so excited for and wanted so dearly. Fortunately, they were spared from an agonizing choice when her daughter was born with a lot of aid from the doctor. She named her Hyacinth, for the flower her father had plucked from their garden on the final day of his life.
Violet wanted to be there for her children, to help them through their grief, but how could she hope to do that when she did not have a handle on her own. She could barely stand to exist in a world where he was not, so she stayed away to spare them from witnessing her grief and to spare herself the pain of seeing theirs. There were times where she wished that she would die, the torment was so great, and she knew that Edmund would be ashamed of her for such a thought. That she could even fathom leaving their children alone, parentless in the world, it was inexcusable, but such was the state of her mind.
It would get better. Grief becomes easier to bear as time passes, but it leaves scars behind that even time cannot heal. Violet learned to exist with that grief, and it became less of a burden as she learned to exist without the comfort and guidance of her husband.
| ~ • ~ | Member Info | ~ • ~ |
.:Name or Online Alias:. Seren
.:Your Pronouns:. She/Her
.:Are you 18+:. Yes
.:How Did You Find Us:. I live here.
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